DAY 1917


06:53 c: a storm is coming … .









C- DEFLATES more than inflates tires…

C- a daily reminder to get my bike fixed


final stretch …

i see bus at bus stop with what looks like two digits (2nd and then 3rd gear… because I only have three gears …)


On bus

c- I think this is the right bus …

v- would you check?!

c- I thought I saw two digits…

v- please check

c- … yes, it’s the right bus

lady in seat behind me

Lady: does this bus go downtown?

CG: yes (chuckles) I did the same thing today … that would be really bad to get on the wrong bus …


V- you talk to people? (being funny)

c- yes, I talk to people. As you well know. I am not that antisocial.



c- they so know you… (from comment thread)


07:37 c- (all hoity toity) you know, I could be a top fan, too, but so choose not to

v- (chuckles) hm-hm … you don’t like that aspect

c- IDK, it’s fine. It’s like gamifying SM



V- be good


c- (sneaky smile) how many lives do I have?



V- you do not play by any of the rules

c- no, I do not. I am not conforming, LIKE YOU.

v- oh, you would.




too bad I don’t have a car or the girls and I could have some brownies and have fun at this show … (tongue in cheek)

@ mesmerica360

@ mesmerica360


There’s an ad on Instagram and you can see the kaleidoscopic preview in all its glory.



adding to DAY 1912 (08/15/19)



08:18 [ on bus ] text to supervisor to make sure my schedule is now 9-5 because my ETA is 08:50

[ get off bus ]

I see a familiar face

it’s a former higher ed colleague

chit chat

c- small world … Luis. Worked in I.I. Hadn’t taught since 2014. About to start teaching again. About to take the bus.


v- he was one of the people you interviewed

c- yes, I was on the hiring committee way back when.

09:30 c- back to work

v- you’re not making it funny?!

c- I have to work. And, yes, the InnerNet storyreel was funnier than what is now reported (a la The Office I appropriateness, which Luis would find humorous)

c- for some reason I still remember him scanning in stacks of graded work (digitizing) back during that nightmarish Maymester … 4 weeks to complete 4+ credits.

admin decision, and we never did it again.

V- not yours

c- ah, no. I was a yes girl. We did it, we survived, we decided never again, like a lot of other courses.

09:33 c- I think that was the university’s push for Maymester … was it take a course for free?

V- omg

c- oh, yeah … all kind’s of awful administratively … especially for hybrid / online when you had to have everything ready BEFORE the mini-Maymester started (orientation during the week after spring break)

that may have also been the transition from trimesters to semesters … another hellish transition that we survived


V- and then you left

[ laughter sensed ]

c- they were changing all the course materials (textbooks) not to mention the new regime’s … “ideas” for change

v- haha stop


v- pay up the whazoo for commercialized texts




09:44 c- I bet they’re thankful they don’t have skeletons in their closets and nothing to hide that would be disastrous for their good image … those pedestals that some put themselves on that they have absolutely no right to do … do eventually come crashing down if they have done some horrible shit

do what’s right and NEVER make yourselves out to be better than who you really are and what you don’t/do …

those likes will be … interesting (ever-narcissistic)

what do filter bubbling echo-chambering social media “influencers” do? …

v- they don’t tell the truth

c- they hide the ugliness that is … just lurking


C- that whole carbon footprint / private trip (jet) thing is ridiculous

unfortunate how limelighting public figures

v- have their lives splayed open

c- hm-hm

v- which you never wanted

c- no. But here I am making my life as transparent as can be (grumpilocious stare)

v- I didn’t tell you to


c- (sad laugh) my life has been turned inside out. I would rather it all be out there.

what are people going to dig up in my life…

v- diffusing … oh, interesting.

c- … if for years I’ve been telling all

09:54 c- who would I rather write a tell-all book … about my life?

v- you … oh, NICE.

09:54 c- if people ask, i’ll be honest… if the timing is right, if I feel talking about XYZ wouldn’t hurt anyone

v- and hurling insults?

c- you mess with my inner space? It’s a free for all. I will get defensive & go on the offensive

v- war path. Understood.

c- I have the screams of the common people of the future who will look at things from my POV and ask you

”what the f ** k were you thinking!?”

09:57 c- so, be careful with that niche market

v- understood


C- support only goes so far …


c- do your good, but if you don’t take care of the shit

v- the shitstorm is coming, got it. Get back to work

c- I have been working





v- you are not going to let up on this

c- no, I am not. if people are messing with my inner space AND THEY KNOW IT?! There are serious consequences for (physical/emotional/psychological) ABUSE,

SO, let’s hope there is NOT a connection

10:46 c- if not, live your lives as if this is just all hypothetical


C- that sense like it feels like someone’s fondling me at 1-3 am , periodic wake ups during the night when I should be sleeping peacefully?!

That all has to stop. Or be EXPLAINED.

10:51 c- it’a been 5+ years and I’m done with the Unknown

v- turmoil


12:30 (suppressed snicker)


[ trailer voice ] premiering 04/15/20 … death and taxes …

v- NO time to die, C


13:38 (soft chuckle … in bathroom)



[ grumbling about thunderstorms popping up on radar … forecast did NOT include these ]

15:55 v- paaaarrrty time

c- potty time

15:56 c- when you bike? It matters. When you don’t have $ for Ubers or Lyft’s… IT MATTERS.

v- you are grumpy

c- well?!?


16:00 c- I swear I karmically cursed myself with that Terminator header image this morning

v- it wasn’t coming

c- no, it was headed in the other direction TO THE SOUTH, but had funky clouds

16:01 c- I was just spicing up my post for the day … which no one reads

v- aw…


16:08 c- I did not spray

v- I don’t Need to know this (shakes his head)

c- just being honest

v- stop (laughing)


17:11 😵


and it’s in his shirt


v- it is not

17:13 v- (laughing) you are not right

c- what? I have to start making use of the 100k + screenshots over the years

v- oh, lord


C- I think on my bike ride this morning I was playing chess on his shirt

v- yes, you were

c- I was trying to remember what all the names of the pieces were (I’m better with shapes)

v- lmao


another find by tmdesigns_

another find by tmdesigns_

07:28 c- same as the astronaut helmet dissolution from yesterday

v- you’re doin’ shit…

c- [ acting out new persona ] hey, dating is fun

v- you are NOT dating

c- how do YOU know?

v- I know

c- people like me

v- you’re weird … and being really funny


17:31 c- it’s strange: i’m Doing absolutely nothing. Posting … pretty much nothing about myself …

v- and they’re flocking to you

c- like flies on shit

v- oh, you would


C- call it … a social experiment (steeples fingers) …

v- haha … wrong

c- for research purposes

v- not right …


I’m doing absolutely nothing.

Posting … pretty much nothing about myself …



17:39 at downtown terminal

c- it’s sad. a guy … well, just decided I wasn’t his type

v- oh?

c- we could have had something [ back of hand on forehead, breathy ]



17:47 dating persona: I mean, why wouldn’t I love a guy … with THIS in his profile description?

v- uh-uh

17:48 v- but he didn’t take the bait.

C- he left. Guess I wasn’t his type after all.

v- no, maybe somebody else will come along … _______

17:50 c- smiles. Perhaps.


18:06 dating persona : WE COULD HAVE BEEN SOMETHING! 😫

V- together