18 June (45)

Image: Photo taken by Scribe 25 August (43)

Image: Photo taken by Scribe 25 August (43)

 Mnemosyne’s gift

in the Rift

 is focus

an emerging locus

 

09:09 posted

Scribe: so... you liked “Seamripper” [ the tree/s] 

v- yes, someone did

Scribe: oh, the things I notice

v- do you mind? 

Scribe: _______________

v- I get it

09:11

IMG_8678.JPG

SOURCE (excerpt from “Seamripper”) https://medium.com/@virtuonaut/a-wandering-mind-part-19-seamripper-bc93bb660a94

09:17 photographic storytelling ...

v- yes, yes, it is

Scribe: I understand the symbolism ... well, because I conceptualized it

v- captured well

Scribe: experience... helps me see things ... stumble upon parts of the world that resemble what THIS IS - whether or not others “get it” ... sometimes you have to spoon feed it... at other times, you just slap that visual backdrop on for added 

v- depth... I know ... you’re not annoyed

Scribe: I laugh every time and add a “shame on you, X, Y (et al) “

v- you should show the resemblance

Scribe: and add to someone else’s data (chuckles) ... oh, I know BTS data collection techniques - remember, my dad worked for A.C. Nielsen (and I worked in online education) 

09:23 Scribe (chuckling / joking ) - I’m not pausing at that particular scene 

v- but you will

Scribe: I will for my records, yes [ I am honored if it is what it is ]

09:24

v- thank you

Scribe: you’re welcome

9:24

09:25 Scribe: and for any learner out there (or anyone in education) - the BTS data that is collected, for example, where learners stop in a posted lecture video - helps educators focus on what is understood, what needs to be elaborated on / helps develop extra learning materials, helps guide physical space/virtual synchronous interactions, etc 

09:28 Scribe: I read PhotoSnap’s recent dissemination of how they use data - loved the part about how they can better understand the user when they collect data about how they SCROLL (scribal inside joke)

09:30 Scribe: or was it InstaFeed? Doesn’t matter - any interaction with SM - is recorded somehow.

09:32 Scribe: “I don’t LIKE you” 

v- but you did recently

Scribe: hmm, every once in a while I do. 

09:33  

———- 

09:44

IMG_8691.JPG
IMG_8692.JPG

———-

09:46 Scribe: and then... there was this photo I created 

 “A Puzzle Wrapped in a Scroll With a Bottled-Up Key”

 “A Puzzle Wrapped in a Scroll With a Bottled-Up Key”

09:46 Scribe: the next day(?) I stumble upon this resemblance in nature:

IMG_8694.JPG

09:47 

09:50 Scribe: I’ll leave it at that

v- no, you can mention it

Scribe:  “A Puzzle Wrapped in a Scroll With a Bottled-Up Key” was THE ONLY photo I sold for $20 at my recent photography showcase. I had very little hopes to begin with... I do all of this BECAUSE OF WHAT IS HAPPENING TO ME 

v- at great expense, I know

Scribe: my ongoing joke is ART DOESN’T PAY... and if not for THIS I would not be sharing. I would not be spending all this time on something g I keep going more into debt over. People need to realize I am NOY doing this for the money ... far from. I keep joking “can I write this off as a charitable donation?”

v- you joke all the time

Scribe: I have to.  

09:53

09:56 Scribe: so, I am happy to be the inspiration for whatever, if that is the case - but there is a very real person behind the muse. It’s an ongoing battle 

v- art doesn’t pay, I know 

Scribe: I am very realistic when it comes to my endeavors

v- I know you are

09:57

Scribe: I did the photography exhibit because

v- you got no.. 

Scribe: no one came... I actually preferred it that way

09:58

Scribe: i’ve lived my life knowing I can’t rely on anyone ... thank goodness for my health (most of it - being snarky)

09:59 Scribe: so, I went public with the photography exhibit (which was horrible timing for me - which I won’t go into ) - I committed to it and followed through because

1) after four plus years I felt it was necessary to put a part of MY WORK out there more publicly  

2) I believed in the organization I showcased with (indie artists)

3) I was curious what images would spark interest & the conversations they would start (I enjoyed chatting with the public & other artists of the show)  

4) it was a springboard to help jump start Crafty Scribe - I now have the foundation for an LLC (which I can’t afford - so nix that extra protection ... argh) ... which I have VERY REALISTIC expectations about (it’s a side gig - very small scale)

10:06

v- so, you’re in this alone

Scribe: very much so. As I said, I have accepted my life as a person with ... 

v- very private person

Scribe: a very small (traditional) network of people ... I have kept to myself my entire life ... I keep those close to me... close? I don’t ask for help. I rarely self promote - it’s not in my nature ... if not for this WELL HELL 

v- quantum well hell

Scribe: I wouldn’t. be doing. any, of. this. publicly. 

10:10 Scribe: so, what does a person in my position do? Take note (keep paying for the digital spaces - websites - on which I create & share - realizing it offers me little to no protection ... but maybe SOMEONE will SOMEDAY reach out

v- they found you on PhotoSnap

Scribe: yeah... again, I went in the hole (knew I would) - but it was an artistic opportunity I didn’t want to turn down.... just like IdeaFest. Just like that Floridian nightmare trip... I felt I needed to. I cannot regret those choices. Now, I can say I did them. I TRIED. I learned. I can be in the shoes of all those artists wanting to do something - but realizing what hey feel is worthy

v- is not lucrative  

Scribe: not even to pay basic bills. No. 

10:15 Scribe: so, what happens to people like me? They find a paying job that has nothing to do with what they’d prefer to be doing. Or even what they feel they need to be doing. It’s a doggie dog world.

10:16

10:19 v- you’re maki g people feel _____ [ bad ]

Scribe: you started it. I was going to leave it alone. It’s just one aspect of all this. Again, for the record, all I wanted was a yes or no answer to TP. I’ve asked my question. Still no answer. I get it... it’s not that simple, ok? I love you. Apologies for the reflection about starving artists. I’ve been fortunate to be able to do what I’ve done for four years. 

v- at a cost

Scribe: all my traditional networked friends and family (and many others, I’m sure) would say “you gotta take care of two important people in your life (my children)”

10:22 Scribe: ask my children. Four years plus. When have I not been there for them? - if not MORE since I left my previous career?  it’s a cookie cutter comment.

10:23 v- yes, it is, C

10:23 Scribe: I’m stamping it into my psyche: I’m in this alone. I’m ok with that. Don’t expect anything or rely on anyone. Use your able body and mind to earn money. [ art doesn’t pay ]

10:25 getting back to my life offline. 

10:26 [ joking : $20 minus the card reader fee ... minus ___ minus ___ minus ___ ... . Scribe Chuckles none of this is a moneymaker ... i’ll Make more money with a minimum wage job ] 

----

[reheating coffee and continuing to tease and joke]

10:38 v- rehash [ what you just joked about ]

Scribe: it was not my intention to make people feel guilty (if that's the case) - I go into each artistic endeavor realistically - I share as a nobody, I tell my story, whatever that may be ... I realize it takes an army to put anything together [ feature film, tv show, commercial advertisement, etc] ... the reason my endeavors are small scale is ... I do not have an army. I use the resources I have at my disposal to get my vision out there - realizing someone may very well take something and run with it [ spin-off ]... I get how sharing on the digital plane works. I get it... I'm happy if a concept makes it as far as it does ... those creative adjacencies do give me ... hope

v- the Land of Lost Hope? ... really, c?

Scribe: [ soft snicker ] sorry... [ Jonathan Strange and Mr. Norell ] ...so (in)appropriate

V- I love how you do that.

Scribe: hmm... WHAT DOES IT MEAN!?! [ being funny []

10:44 Scribe: I will continue to OBSERVE what is "out there" 

v- resemblances

Scribe: continue to PAY for observing them [ held-in, muted snicker ]

V- will you stop?!?

10:44 Scribe: what?! half serious: why should *I* be the one to pay for everything? seriously. messed. up.

10:45 V- on a scale from 1 to 10 how happy are you?

Scribe: seriously? self-help guru is asking

V- motivational speaker, get it right! - your words, not mine

10:46 Scribe: smiles ... I have my ups and downs like anyone. I am moody. always have been. contemplative... 

v- mad

Scribe: mad?

v- about the no answer part

Scribe: frustrated. repressed ... I have to back burner it A LOT. there is nothing I can do... with may current resources. it's a conspiracy, I tell you.

v- [ chuckles ] yuP. [ being funny ]

10:47 Scribe: I'm a pretty baseline happy / content person

v- yes, you are. scale from 1 to 10 ... right now...

Scribe: hm... many variables. but overall? right now? a seven? I have some stress I have to work on.

v- I know... sorry. 

Scribe: not too much of a crisis... but nearing.

v- haha, funny

10:48 Scribe; what did I see this weekend... [ movie: Set it up comedy about PAs ] ... what I heard... I can't recall, but it was a resemblance. It'll come to me later. 

10:50 Scribe: it wasn't the part about the opposite of love wasn't hate but difference bit... it was something else

v- you didn't write it down?!

Scribe: I'm moving away from logging. weaning myself, as it were. I just enjoyed the movie.

10:51 v- so, scale from 1-10...

Scribe: didn't I say?  seven?

10:53 Scribe: I need to make brunch for the kiddos. Just a quick note that I am thankful for my accelerators... if you are what I think you are

v- you're welcome... thank you ... for recognizing us.

Scribe: I realize much of this is an uphill battle

V- up for the challenge?

Scribe [smiles]

V- why?

Scribe: a post on IdeaSpace once upon a time

10;54

V- do you check in?

Scribe: now and then

V- you still can?!? [ being funny ]

Scribe: I have my... crafty ways

V [ chuckles ] yes you do

10:55

10:56 FADING... from a vanishing point

v- funny...

---

10:59 Scribe: that's what I was going to rehash: I reflect here to try to whittle away and FIX something that seems wrong

v- what's happening to you

Scribe: how are we EVER going to place more value on creativity... curate those who do benefit society in a way... 

v- and pay them for it'?

Scribe: uh, yeah... I'm not really talking about myself.. but, yes, I am a template. Seriously? I have to temp to get money to pay bills? really? be in a mindless job and take my focus away from what I consider more important things. that just seems wrong.

v- very, C. sorry.

Scribe: what we place value on in society - at times - most times(?) is so jacked up. I did my weekly perusal of LifeSnippet. Ouch. some very good people are "looking for anything"

v- in education [ academia ]

Scribe: no, I do not regret leaving. I knew more than others did (BTS / budgets / forecasts ) ... and a society that does not place value on good educators / Teaching and Learning

v- is on its way out. I know.

Scribe: I'm biased. but wow. there are some things about the status quo in education today that are ...

v- shameful?

Scribe: wrong... not sure I want to go into all that. back to brunch.

11:03

---

v- and why don't you get back into education 

Scribe: I know myself - what I'm passionate about I work overtime... if I dove back in, I'd be spending too much time and not getting paid for my time & efforts - a person has to survive. I have children to think of. my own financial future to think about... and I really cannot waste my time anymore. I really have to refocus and focus on creating financial security - even if that means just getting by

11:07

11:10 posted

Scribe: so, I'm taking the advice of someone who recently told me : just get a job. Any job [ that pays ]

11:11 Scribe: what has this taught me? [ another voice from that infamous Floridian nightmare trip?  ] To get back to being real - to what I was before all this started. Unfortunately for me. THIS never goes away now ... so I have this + the need to be real [ settle / be practical / be what everyone else's normal is ]

11:13

11:14 ELEPHANT IN THE ROOM signing off.