04 Apr (44)

Image: Photo taken by Scribe 25 March (44) at 17:56

Image: Photo taken by Scribe 25 March (44) at 17:56

(before 09:06) Scribe getting ready to make coffee, reading an article about dreams: "it's 'very important to not confuse dream experiences with reality" [ head up maniacal laugh ].

Scribe: right. I can't wait to prove THAT dream researcher wrong. So, my dear Trickster, when you are - in waking life - watching a film - and I DREAM it... and record my experience... should we CONFUSE that?

v- no 

09:08 v- I'm laughing. 

Scribe: I have this visceral reaction to statements like that. DO NOT DISTINGUISH DREAM AND

v- hence, wake walking

Scribe: ah, yeah. Telepathy has many aspects where the two states are merged

v- OMG, I know. No doubt there.

09:09 [ Scribe continues to mind mumble as she heads to the espresso maker ]

--- [ making coffee and mindchatting ]

09:21 Scribe: I was going to post something yesterday but my internet wasn't cooperating (or this space wasn't) for some reason. What happened was this

v- after you got what you needed to get done done

Scribe: I finished watching a movie I had fallen asleep to the previous night. Now, to give context, this was an image I was going to post soon...

v- on your gallery... external channel

Scribe: correct. I had for days been thinking how I'd post it. I wanted to highlight the palm tree that was wrapped up in this older tree. Seeing it in person was better

v- always is

Scribe: IDK... you can do cool things with perspective and filters... ANYWAY... what I did was highlight the center by bringing out its original color and the rest of the photo was black and white, then added a couple filters to soften / spookify it

v- when was this? 

Scribe: 02 April (44) 10:53 was when I finished the photo editing and then I posted it on PhotoSnap at 11:00

v- and WHY is this important

Scribe: I hadn't started watching the movie until later that day (late evening)

09:28 Scribe: ... and as I said, I started it too late, was too tired, and fell asleep very early in the movie. Next day after I did what I had to do that day, I figured I'd start watching it again. I get to cue mark 32:39, and this is what I see:

09:30 posted. Scribe: a character looks up into this tree, the color darkens around the edges, the color disappears into the center. This clip is from Beautiful Creatures (2013)

v- before all this started

Scribe: I had never seen the movie. It wasn't even on my watchlist. I just decided to watch it (after spending too much time scrolling through options). It was an odd turn of events, to say the least. Just one of those anachronistic synchronicities, as I call them. No one intended to be (directly) influenced by each other - it just so happened that my life, my creative work, synched up perfectly with that clip.

09:33 v- I know, this happens to you a lot

Scribe: [ chuckle ] I don't know

v- no, a lot.

Scribe: LOL ... I don't take it too seriously. I can't. I just make a note of it.

v- and move on

Scribe: and reflect A LOT (it's what I do)... BTW, entirely unintentional yesterday's photo post - I realized it later in the day how it synched up with Trickster's wording. Again, I had been planning to post that image as the next in a triptych of sorts

v- on your gallery ... what's today's?

Scribe: we already discussed this this morning (one you've already seen if you caught it on one of my side channels right after I took the photo) the triptych theme is trees... probably the one with the palm tree, light on a post and the moon in a blue sky.


09:37 Scribe: I don't know... it's just another example of how our dreaming lives mesh with our waking lives.

v- explain

Scribe: Someone dreamed up that clip - how it would be presented... when I looked up into that tree on my vacation (someone pointed it out. it was on their property), I did my best to capture what I saw, knowing a camera phone and the light we were in wouldn't be able to show too well what I was seeing. It took me thinking about how I could present it - to better show what I saw in that moment (the color highlight)... 

v- that you dreamed up. understood.

Scribe: IDK, I may take dreaming too artistically at times - that necessary source of inspiration for many creatives - so we get a bit touchy with scientific statements "don't confuse dreaming with 'reality'" ... chuckle

09:40 Scribe: no offense to those researchers who narrow their field to whatever they are studying. it is important. no doubt.

v- just don't disregard the other aspects of dreaming

Scribe: dreaming isn't just one thing

v- it's everything

09:41 Scribe: [ teasing ] I don't know if it's EVERYTHING ... you're being superlative again.


v- haha. stop

Image: Scribe's edited photo (with filters)

Image: Scribe's edited photo (with filters)

09:43 Scribe: I'm super critical about my photos... this post wasn't the greatest. HOWEVER, to see it that same day - a different moving rendition in the film (without the palm tree)... was pretty. cool

v- very


v- please mention...

Scribe: argh. if I start I'll spend too much time discussing it (without really resolving anything) ... I guess I can while I finish my coffee

v- you have a checkmark to finish

Scribe: off today's to-do list. yes. Alright, let me refresh my coffee before I dive into this one ... about the most recent news about Stranger Things and its "stolen" concept

09:49 [ sitting back down in front of laptop ]

09:50 Scribe: ...

V- start with the InnerNet

Scribe: as I'm refreshing / reheating my coffee I keep mindchatting (the beauty of TP)

v- with Trickster

Scribe: I started documenting ( I tend to be detail oriented)

v- hyper - [detail] oriented

Scribe: what I was experiencing - the sensations, the dreams, the sporadic voices and presence - early on... and this included my interactions with (social) media ... these inner experiences and suspected connection with an individual or people I later came to call the InnerNet. I did a quick web search for anything related to the InnerNet (other people who may have coined the term). I may have found a few, but nothing branded. So, I started referring to it as the InnerNet later, when I started A Wandering Mind. Months later I was walking through a discount bookstore and I see ...

v- in the psychology section

Scribe: I don't even remember, but probably. maybe it was self help

v- ok, maybe it was self help

Scribe (chuckles)... I remember visually where it was (somewhat photographic memory) ... that store, if it's the one I'm thinking of

v- close to your house

Scribe: isn't there any more. They switched locations

v- not too far away

Scribe: no, but farther than the original location... ANYWAY... on the book's spine I see INNERNET

09:55 Scribe: let's do a quick web search now to see if I can find it. I took a photo of it at the time, but by now I have thousands upon thousands of photos and screenshots and there is no way in hell I'm going to go back through my archives...

09:56 V- thank goodness for the internet

Scribe: chuckles... yes. not always the place to find things you're looking for, but definitely a good reference at times. my point before I do a quick search is this: I intended no copyright infringement. her book was not the source of my inspiration.

v- thank you

09:57 Scribe: I guess my advice to creatives out there - [ in Working Girl fashion - IF YOU CAN: DOCUMENT THE SHIT OUT OF YOUR CREATIVE PROCESS

09:57 Scribe: which not all of us can do, but do as much as you can

v- as much as possible

09:58 ( opening up web browser) 

v- will you please mention first...

Scribe: ok, my initial thoughts as a reader of that headline ( I haven't finished the article - I had to get up out of bed to start my day)

v- and pee... just say it

Scribe: I was TALKING to you as well

v- multitasking? shocker

10:00 Scribe: POTTY TIME (pronounced like party... but meaning potty time)

10:01 Scribe: what I was going to say (what I have been mindchatting about) is just this: whoever this individual was had direct contact with the Duffs. Who knows what was said. If any agreement was made. How similar the projects are to each other (the original "concept" short was taken down so no one can see it now)

10:02 v- and...?

Scribe: I hate to make this about me, too... I may seem that everything revolves back to me... which I don't want it to be...

v- ok... but it's a good point

Scribe: IDK... I guess my point is this - the Duffs very well could have gotten inspiration from anything posted online - anything anyone posted out there

v- unbranded , not branded

Scribe: it'll be a source of discussion

v- already is

Scribe: you know I slap on licenses to my written works - even some of ideas when I was participating on IdeaSpace... and it was understood that anything we posted someone else may take and spin off in their own way

v- act upon it

Scribe: it's one thing for someone like me just getting her feet wet - getting her creative work out there

v- thoughts

Scribe: concepts... and an entirely different situation to create an entire series or an entire feature film - or even a short... it takes an army, as I am well aware on a smaller scale in education (creating educational videos) ... 

10:06 Scribe: but I would hope that if I was an influence - or even this individual who claims the Stranger Things concept was stolen - that the creators of the show would admit to what extent that individual was an influence

v- and put a price tag on it

Scribe: that's the eternal question, now is it... we are in an age where we share so much online ... do I intend to get a single penny from what I'm typing right now?

v- no

10:08 Scribe: it's not why I'm posting this

v- I know...

Scribe: HOWEVER, do I get a little TICKED off when I don't have a single person confronting me about what is going on?'

v- yes, you do

Scribe: and I'm talking about the TP connection at this point. I may see resemblances in places where there are definite influences (where I am a muse)... but there is nothing I can do about it, now is there?

v- I know (quiet)

Scribe: even if at some point I get to the point 

v- with enough backing

Scribe: however you take that (financial, legal, moral, etc.)

10:10 Scribe: it is the DISCUSSION I am seeking - to figure things out -- to make sure we find a decent solution... some way to perhaps track that 

v- infringement 

Scribe: malicious, intentional, whatever you call it "knowing you may be getting away with highway robbery... " I don't know how to put it (ignoring the fact that you took something that wasn't yours and you ran away with it... making it seem it was yours to everyone else... except the individual(s) who may know that THAT is definitely to coincidental to be coincidence

v- please mention...

10:12 Scribe: I don't know if I want to say anything... Trickster has been accused of having muses who he never acknowledges

v- explain

Scribe: I read comments. I click on what's that individual has publicly posted. There were some strange resemblances ...

v- mention it

Scribe: [ mumbles ] a dragonfly and a rainbow ... BUT... what

v- published

Scribe: yeah, sorry, whoever you are... but you can't touch the (possible) source of Trickster's inspiration

v- haha

Scribe: as humans on this planet we have some of the same experiences - some EXTREMELY, STRANGELY synchronous with others. without any direct influence. unintentional.

v- what do you think? [ about the accusation ? Trickster and anonymous accuser ]

Scribe: what was posted as an alleged "direct influence" and what you said in the video were not even very similar

v- thank you


Scribe: what I wanted to say to this individual... was "when Trickster mentions something like wake walking... THEN you should start to wonder"

10:17 Scribe [ chuckles and feels lighthearted airy bubbly InnerNet chuckling ] you are SO going down...

[ unmentionable response ]

10:17 v- laughing

10:18 posted

10:18 Scribe: what I'm trying to say is the seriousness is in question: at what stage in the creative process do we start tracking... how much of a similarity is cause for a lawsuit... what do "helpless" (powerless) individuals do... who are just starting, who just want to get their work out there...

v- and make a difference?

Scribe: do they feel honored? or taken advantage of? I don't know copyright law... so I do not know the intricacies of legal rights, etc... but it's more than that... and that is why all of this is TRICKY. History has demonstrated

V- the powerless get screwed. I know.

10:20 Scribe: in the end, with what I comment on: it does not solve anything. What I want to say is any resemblance I see at this stage is an honor. I would hope to be able to sit down with those I've influenced and have a discussion... what I really only care about it sitting across from who I am TPically connected to and have that person say there really is (or is not) a connection. That's it. That's all I've really wanted. It's hell not knowing for sure. It's been too long

v- powerless

Scribe: and I have no way to change how THIS IS right now... I have to live my life and try to live with THIS... and QUIT MAKING ME CRY

10:22 v- sorry... I'm happy... this has to be said (about copyright)

Scribe: eh... it really is, perhaps, a matter of degree...

v- to what degree

Scribe: I also thought of Falling Water

v- yeah, I know

Scribe: that intro I think ticks me off

v- that it's so similar

Scribe: but I did not write the whole show... I did not cast the characters, etc. I laugh at the 37 boxes, was it?

v- haha, I know

Scribe: numerologically challenged here [ and the archiving of the logs ]


Scribe: I'm also thinking of the similarity of ... [ let's name names ] Charlie Kessler taking down 

10:26 Scribe: oops. DUFFER brothers. Whoops. I am SO bad with names

V- I know!

Scribe: ... how he took down "Montauk" video short from
Vimeo (related to his film script) "The Montauk Project" ... and my removal of all my posts from IdeaSpace... I did not remove myself from IdeaSpace

v- oh, just admit it

Scribe: I'm not entirely gone (quickly said)

v- haha stop. people know you're not

Scribe: I am not active. there are no posts. there are no PUBLICLY AVAILABLE comments anywhere...

v- you've removed them

Scribe: I just have not requested to have my other accounts removed

v- oh, accounts?

Scribe: there are two (being gentle and honest)... one I supervised was my daughter's, the other is obvious now (eZ - which I initially posted apart from A Wandering Mind)


10:31 Scribe: the main reason for my request to be removed was because I have yet to receive a direct communication (denial or confirmation of TP connection) or meet with a few of my prime suspects... but I'm the crazy woman, right? Honestly. This is ridiculous.

10:32 Scribe: some days I REALLY want to be cantankerous and mess with you during one of your events.

v- and YOU DO

Scribe: ok, that streaker incident last night was a momentary slip

v- you were good after that

10:33 v- you've done this before

Scribe: oh, the stories we will tell (LOL)

10:34 Scribe: coffee mug up: here's to wake walking

v- I love you, you know that

10:35 Scribe: I know I affect you and you never SAY (hardly ever) say anything... which is admirable and ... disappointing at the same time. I realize you have to appear as normal as possible I get that.

v- image is everything

Scribe: I know... not everything... but with you do, you have to keep up a reputation. when the shit hits the fan, it'll be interesting 

v- oh, yeah, I know... you're good?

Scribe: yeah

v- have a good morning?

Scribe: (snicker) stop.. and yes.

10:37 Scribe: THAT alone will get people scratching their heads... so... you two had a relationship... but not?

10:37 Scribe: I mean, I do that every frickin' day... and I'm INVOLVED with you

10:38 Scribe: one final note before I hop off WMS. one good way to be as authentic as possible ... and no one can touch this (as I reflect on my creative journey) ...

v- write about your life

Scribe: no one lives each of our lives

v- and that's authentic

Scribe: however you want to present that: there are many aspects to each of us... just spin it how you may want to present it

v- and you have gold

Scribe: or LL!

v- will you stop! you have a pigment problem


10:40 Scribe: I don't know if I finished my thought, but I removed my posts from IdeaSpace 1) because no one had confronted me (and they should have in my opinion) 2) IdeaSpace was the source of my suspected TPic connection to my suspect(s) 3) the space became more nightmarish than a place I enjoyed to visit and interact in 4) I saw resemblances that I never got an answer about (again, related to my suspected TPic connection(s) 5) the ideas I put out there... that I hope would make a difference

v- never did... I'm sorry

Scribe: eh... in the traditional sense

V- I know... sorry

10:43 Scribe: perhaps I had too much hope for engagement / collaboration - and there was never any or very little. Chalk that up to the platform, perhaps. It was a new SM site

v- I know...

Scribe: I don't blame. It was just my experience... and that was unique. As I've said: if not for the InnerNet

v- you'd still be there.... I know... Sorry, C

Scribe: eh, it'll all work out in the end. I just wanted to make that distinction... if not for the InnerNet (or whatever is going on with me...)

v- I know ... you know what's going on. Trust your gut

Scribe: ( teasing ) and not everyone I've told?

v- well... there are a few that you've told... that haven't answered

scribe: noted


Scribe: you know to everyone else the "they haven't answered" may very well appear like "we aren't answering because she has issues"

v- I know

Scribe: of the mental and emotional kind (the "she needs professional help" kind)

v- will you stop?!

Scribe: seriously? you know who has said that to me - QUITE A FEW PEOPLE ... and some who shouldn't. it just is my life... and I have to live with the knowledge, my research, my experiences. which really blows almost 4 years into this mess.. and it's not just me, which is the kicker.

10:47 Scribe: as I'm always saying: I don't want to be a burden. I am sorry for the rollercoaster  ... I so want to walk on even ground.

v- I know you do...

Scribe: onward ho.

V- onward ho... I love you

Scribe: I love you, too


10:52 Scribe: quick search on multiple web browsers nothing for that Innernet book... [ innernet self help book ] ...Sorry to the author that she isn't internet searchable... let me try "innernet psychology book" ... FOUND IT!

[ trying to get a good screenshot ... cover does not have the word "innernet" although it is included in the title ]

10:54 v- you should have bought it

Scribe: [ a bit pissy ] : no, I did not buy it because it wasn't the type of InnerNet I was experiencing.

10:57 Scribe: and it had a hyphen [ Inner-net ] ...


scanning for info

original publication date: 03 December 2013


searching by key words: [book title] + image

11:05 Scribe: there it is [ the cover image I was looking for / I saw that day ]


11:10 Scribe [ SM checking ... sees "allegedly stealing the idea..." ] Oh, I bet IdeaSpace pays attention to these types of headlines

v- I'm sure they do

Scribe: sucks to have to wait it out to see how it 

v- pans out

Scribe: I know... it's an important discussion, that if this is what it is... [ how so much discussion will be generated... not all good - there will be so many people coming out of the woodwork about how they may have been influenced, taken advantage of ... for, who knows... how far this InnerNet goes... how much is anyone aware of their connection to it? a la Falling Water / Scribe's InnerNet ]

how does one protect / development that seed of an idea? ...

v- especially if you're just getting out there


11:14 Scribe [ joking ] : or it could be an OA situation [ not to give away any spoilers ] but it all ends well

v- oh, the threads of us

Scribe: whatever they may be: our observation / interpretation, really strange stuff *IS* happening - or clear intention / intentional (albeit indirect inspiration/musing)


V- ...or all of the above

Scribe: (laughs) I know! it's all so CONFUSING [ joking about the "don't confuse dreams with reality" quote ]

[ potty time... too much coffee ... joking about something... Scribe: oh, I have to post this - searching for photo ]


Image retrieved by Scribe 01 April (44) 13:41

Image retrieved by Scribe 01 April (44) 13:41

11:22 posted

11:22 Scribe: the typical mindchat joking: now, how can *I* get a gig like Seth Rogen...? I suppose they acquired him because he's famous or somehing. Bluecheckmarked and everything.

v- yup

Scribe: Uh, huh. Netflix is *SO* going down in my little black ...

v- "I hate you"

Scribe: ...book

11:24 Scribe: seriously?! seriously. I wonder where they came up with THAT idea.

v- I can't stop laughing ....

[ Scribe thinks a millisecond before hearing ]

11:25 v- and he's a comedian (all proud)

11:25 [ Scribe's arms crossed - pouting ] Scribe: and, no, I did not watch. I am protesting. BOYCOTT! [ joking ] ... [ more seriously ] I was able to watch Splitting Up Together ( on a different network - ABC ] which was a free episode I found... I chuckled. they totally live in the GARAGE every other week

v- not the FROG

Scribe: oh, no... wouldn't want to have that be too similar (being funny)

v- cool concept

Scribe: yes... plenty of the population that will be able to relate in some way to that situation

11:27 Scribe: yeah, but that Netflix Seth Rogen thing... a bit sketchy in my opinion

v- will you stop!

Scribe: I'm such a narcissist. NARCISSIST ALERT! NARCISSIST ALERT!

V- Haha.. will you stop... if anything you are way too empathetic 

Scribe: one of the keys to TP, perhaps


11:33 Scribe: I gotta stop. It's lunchtime and I'm still here ( argh... I have an empty checkmark... snicker ... to fill in ] ... but I'm just commenting about something I just saw Hunter post... and I had JUST been thinking about whether or not to share dreams... how they are our own.. or are they? (a la Falling Water) ... and that quote that I posted a while back about Meryl Streep and her dreams... let me find it [ how she doesn't share them because if she did they wouldn't be her own ]

11:36 Scribe: Hunter is *SO* going down for stealing that thought and running with it [ joking, just joking....really. ]

11:37 Scribe: WRONG PERSON! oops. sorry. I AM SO BAD WITH REMEMBERING NAMES. Glenn Close said:

"If I gave you my dream it wouldn't be my dream anymore"

11:38 [ FLIPPING to index and TOC to see if Meryl Streep is in the book..]

Scribe: oh! { being funny and mischievous ] Larry King wrote the forward

11:41 Private Dreams of Public People by Lauren Lawrence. No, Meryl Streep is not listed in the TOC nor in the Declinations section (where Glenn Close is listed)

11:42 posted


11:45 posted image from Private Dreams of Public People

11:46 Scribe: and OF COURSE you get moved by that last line. Why?

V- because it's weird and you know it

Scribe: oh? are you suggesting I am in your dreams and you are in mine?

v- exactly that ... in different ways... you see what I see when you're dreaming... I may see what you see while we are both awake

Scribe: different dream states... or what I call dream states ... we are familiar with daydreaming. not the same, but it's a good point of reference.

v- yup

--- [ getting ready to make lunch and wash dishes ]

04 Apr (44)

11:51 C- even knowing I may be a muse… I keep putting my concepts out there (an unknown, unpublished, no reputation to speak of, no connections… that I know of… no way to really vet my creative talents - or get paid for them)… the only thing I can prove to you..
V- is that the good ideas keep coming… yup
C- and that is one way you build your reputation. At some point, someone will take notice - just keep at it

While typing up what I had been mindchatting
V- integritty
C- to prove you are fully vested in something… you have to dedicate more time than you think is worth your while. It’s not because you want to … because you have to… it’s mixed in with
V- passion
C- you have to get it out
V- cathartic
c- and if people keep seeing that… that it keeps coming
V- they know it’s worth their while….
C- worth investing in at some point

11:59 Scribe: I guess what I’m doing is important … this logging of what I notice : the resemblances, the coincidences, many of which I do not take seriously… just odd synchronicities… and how I can distinguish them… how I hold off on any judgment until I hear that I really have been a muse… of course, that may be inviting people
V- to take advantage of you
C- but my hope is that through this trajectory of not knowing … that people will take it as a good record of everything I noticed…
V- and did nothing about
C- because I couldn’t … but also because I would have to build a very good case of too many resemblances .. WITH BACKING before I attempted to accuse anyone of anything. And even then, all I want is one answer… [ for just for someone to confront me to admit that I was an influence … knowing I would not ask for monetary compensation ] 
V- you don’t take offense
C- I see it as the fabric of us… what I believe…
V- and know
C- is that what I am experiencing is much larger than one snippet in a tv show or movie … or even a commercial or whatever
V- (free) video online
C- that in the end, I know it will generate important discussions (if it hasn’t already) … but how I/we needed all these threads - that someone took to weaving (not me/us) - and it was for, perhaps, this purpose
V- to tell our story
C- that, in the end, will be very useful for reference points…
V- to also prove the value of sharing ideas
c- yeah … and part of the research
V- yup … incredible… ok? Now get back to what you need to do


12:11 Scribe: (smiles seeing the tranScript between V and C - I got all excited when I saw the preview for V.... [ Venom ]

v- for V [ the alien TV show from the 80s ]

Scribe: or something even CREEPIER

V- Creepzoid... even now?

Scribe: VISCERAL (the "V" word of the day - wink)


12:15 "Bite off the venomous head... follow the chemical scent" -K. Flay

12:15 Scribe: so... Prussian Blue

v- [ a quick breathless shock ] ... you haven't posted this [ the other lyrics ] anywhere

Scribe: I didn't want it to be taken the wrong way...

v- you should.,,, it's out now. 

Scribe: fair enough. to contextualize... I've been keeping track of resemblances...

“Don't count me out

Just ‘cause I'm down

Boy, I've been down before

Fate has a way of playing games

And I've been keeping score”

-K. Flay

12:17 V- you saw it [ happy STNM ]

Scribe: "I'm keeping score"

v- resemblances

Scribe: yup

v- you mentioned it... now you have to tell

12:18 Scribe: maybe later... Tomb Raider

"As owners of our dream safe we are not the greatest locksmiths to crack their messages. How we break into them perhaps is tied to remembering the combination. And this is not just any ordinary combination. We’re talking biometric, multi-factored authentication to pass through the layered security, riddled with Sphinx-like puzzles, tumblers only Indiana Jones could get through, a MacGyver’s junk drawer filled with parts that aren’t useless but so meaningful that put together in a certain way will save the day." - "Encryption"

12:21 Nice ... dates.


Scribe: code crackers are going to LOVE this

v- they already do



12:32 Scribe: I have no idea which theater it'd be playing in... which is a running joke. 

I'm directed to THEATER 11

BACKTRACK TO 20 March (44)



12:34 Scribe: the bits I could remember after the fact (not on my mobile device during the movie like a good moviegoer)

12:34 Scribe: I hope that doesn't give away any spoilers

v- no, it doesn't

Scribe: just some observations from my POV (in my creative journey)

v- photographs...

Scribe: hm... perhaps

v- the muck

Scribe: hm... so, someone

v- someones

Scribe: like my landscapes 

v- yes they do (chuckling)

12:36 Scribe: I saw a very large transom, which isn't in my notes. one of the disadvantages of seeing a movie in the theater

v- you can't go back

Scribe: no rewind function

12:37 Scribe: all I have is my memory... and whatever few notes I jotted down after the movie to trigger WHY those resemblances synched up with my experience ... my take aways

12:38 v- you don't assume

Scribe: (chiding) no, I don't assume ... and that's my frequent thought as I share these reflections ... it seems like I'm making it all about me - it's not my intention.

12:39 v- ... why the bicycle

Scribe: I can't right now... I'll be back. I have to get my lunch started and dishes done (because my steamer parts are in my sink!)

v- you haven't done that yet?! (teasing)

12:40 [ Scribe looks at ticket stub and thinks about the dates ]

v- what... dates [ did you notice (they aren't listed in your notes you jotted down ) ]

Scribe: not right now. I'll get back to that.


12:42 [ Scribe thinking about which movies she tends to go to in the theater ... and also thinks back to a couple scenes in Beautiful Creatures ]


12:47 After the movie I had to refer back to my log entries from years ago... just to double check  what happened on those days

v- you didn't REMEMBER?! (being funny)

Scribe: no. that's why I keep a log {deadpan]



BACKTRACK TO 20 Mar (44)...

reflection about dates (from YEAR 41) in Tomb Raider


12:52 Scribe: I published my "Camp" writing / InnerNet experience in A Wandering Mind:. "Interference" It took a while to confess to what happened 23 June. I never officially published it in A Wandering Mind (the full extent of it, at least)

v- big box store

Scribe: ( snicker ) yes. So inappropriate to experience an orgasmic experience AS YOU'RE CHECKING OUT.


paraphrasing the experience - Scribe at the time: WTF was that?!

v- Oh, the Mundanity!

Scribe: over time, the mundanity of my life... took on a ...

v- twist

12:56 Scribe: a while later I took a photo 

v- of the ceiling

Scribe: a selfie of me in the checkout line to celebrate the experience... and...

v- and "Oh, the Mundanity" was born. I know. I remember.


[taking a photo of hardcopy of log]

v- are you sure you want to share this...?

Scribe: the nickname? yes. it's fine. I'll explain the nickname.

v- alright



13:03 posting

v- a kundalini experience

13:04 posted

v- oh. [ quick breathless ]... orgasmic?

Scribe: ah, let's just say there's a mingling of trying to describe one's experiences with some sort of reference point, ok?

13:05 v- center of your universe [ gently prompting... ]

Scribe: the name that I have called my belly button for many years

v- OMG...

13:06 v- ... and how...did...you...respond?

Scribe: ah, are we sure we want to go there?

v- yup

Scribe: I went home and sent a message back

v- haha. stop.

13:07 Scribe: {teasing] did...I ... just... hear a .... singular piano... note ... sound in the silence?

13:08 posted 

13:08 Scribe: now, there are many ways to send signals...

v- oh, you are not explaining eZ away

Scribe: [ chuckle ] ... alright. eZ is an aspect of this whole

v- journey

13:09 v- NOT what you're referring to

Scribe: what I'm referring to- the message received someone *could* have been on stage performing...

v- not.. what happened

Scribe: ... of course, I have not clue. No crossreferencing happening (yet)... what you sense from me might be me dancing

v- or running

Scribe:... which I don't do much anymore because of a bum knee

v- sorry...

Scribe: eh, it is what it is. I have to be careful. I sprinted recently and beat my daughter (dumb move... I may have paid for that antic)

v- haha explain.

13:14 Scribe: I'm not sure if that was the cause. I did the sprint / race with my daughter the 18 March (44)... and then, on the long roadtrip (24 Mar - an entire week later...) to get to our spring break destination my left pad of my foot (near my toes) started to get sore. I could barely walk on my foot the next few days. It could have been from overextending it while I was taking care of Maya just before our vacation - I have her gated into a large area, but I have to hurdle over the gates to get to the parts of my apartment where she isn't allowed to go

v- because of her condition

Scribe: yeah... old age incontinence + UTI is not a good combination

13:17 ... but I tripped on it, pulled my upper left thigh (which hurt for a few days)... but it's all connected, so who knows. Anyway... this is me on the beach:

Image: photo taken by Scribe 27 March (44) at 12:14

Image: photo taken by Scribe 27 March (44) at 12:14

13:18 posted

13:19 this is how I roll: medicinal muscle goo duct taped to my left foot for the day - elevating it and trying to stay off of it (which sucked... I couldn't go in the water, couldn't hike or do more like I wanted to with my children)

13:20 posted

Scribe: the pain got so bad if it wasn't getting better I was going to the ER. the next day the pain subsided to the point like nothing happened. the suspicion is I bruised it (from sprinting?). maybe pulled that part of my foot near the toes as I fell? it just was strange how long it took to get achey and painful

v- it's better?

Scribe: yup. all better as if nothing happened. we've all had these incidents. we get aches or pains and have no idea where they come from sometimes. 

13:22 v- you had good people taking care of you

Scribe: yes... besides the medicinal goo... I had other medicine (joking)

V- alcohol

Scribe: "I can't... feel... my leg!..."

v- Major Payne [ in a really? tone ]


BACKTRACK TO 29 July (41)



13:37 posted 29 July (41) log image

v- thank you...

13:38 V- Now, you're going to have to explain...

Scribe: the coded part? yeah... well? [ guilty innocence ] I coded a lot in my log ...

v- for brevity's sake (abbreviations)

Scribe: all I can say about this ? is my attempt to send a transmission - wake walking - by projecting (touching) certain areas on the body (all "innocent" parts, if I recall)

v- nothing sexual

Scribe: no ... but I was curious if you'd sense... tactilely... what I sent

v- by thought... and NO

Scribe: eh, at the time I thought probably not... although it was quite a focused "push"

v- yeah, I know. eZs are better

Scribe: [ snicker ] uh huh.

13:42 Scribe: I don't remember what this meant. [ chuckles ] ... but other repeated abbreviations that have continued to be used have been (S)TNM, AHB ... among others.

v- which you won't mention

S ribe: wouldn't the public LOVE to see the abbreviations in my uncut notes for eZ [teasing ]

v- which you do

Scribe: uh, yeah, I do... writing the actual words out seems so RAW and exposed. [ chuckling ]

v= you're a modest woman

Scribe: out THERE, yes... I have to filter A LOT

v- yes, you do

Scribe: ... until I feel comfortable enough with expressing something like an eZ artistically

v- yes, you do.. and I love how you do that ... aren't you supposed to be doing something?

Scribe: [ softly, guiltily ] ah, yes... gotta do dishes and eat 

v- oh

Scribe: and that other thing

[ says something funny about voluntary contributions ]

v- oh, just stop. love the name

Scribe: hm, hm... love you ... 

13:47 Scribe: another running joke which I will not reveal 

v- another pseudonym ...

Scribe: hm,hm (soft smile)

v- which I love...

Scribe: you already said as much

13:47 Scribe: off to feed this physical body!


Scribe washing dishes (and dancing - Bubble Time  ... and thinks...)

14:07 Scribe: now, what are the chances that someone knows EVERY SINGLE combination to these locks - which I haven't written down (I have to recall them from memory)


[Scribe searching archives ... still not finding image - I had a filtered image somewhere ... I have an unfiltered printed photo ... but I AM NOT SHARING THAT ]

14:31 Scribe: argh. I'm not finding I thought I remembered approximately when I took that photo...

14:34 Scribe: I'll just go through the process AGAIN... [ I'm both glad my archiving is fragmented ... ]

v- if you can't find it...

Scribe: hackers won't either [ chuckle ] ... it's easier now I have devices where I can more easily keep things all in one place [ that and WMS... where not everything is recorded ]... but having my own devices now means...

v- more easily trackable ... I get it...get on with it [ joyful teasing ] ... you do this ALL THE TIME

14:36 Scribe: I hope "it's there" ... before my move I cut corners I don't usually cut

v- redundancy... I know... sorry


[ taking a photo of hardcopy photo ... and pulling up filter she thinks she used initials...

14:39 Scribe: oh Shitake! that filter isn't free any more (grrr...)



14:42 V- why are you so upset?

Scribe: I archive at certain intervals. I have a back-up

V- but only one before your move

Scribe: I usually would drag ALL my photos and videos over as as mass copy in a media photo for redundancy ... but this time, I'm relying on backups... the organization is a bit wonky that way (instead of a massive chronological file of just photos and videos) ... it would time out, would have taken too long

v- and you made a quick move

Scribe: I had to make some quick decisions ... the actual move was a marathon

v- understood... one which you weren't focusing on digital files 

Scribe: a marathon physical move, yes. so, imagine those movies where they had to copy over what they most needed in a rush - hoping it was there - and stuck it in a safe place

v- until now...

Scribe: when I have had more time after the big move to unearth certain files that come to mind

14:46 Scribe: so, here it is (latest update including filtered log archive in their "spaces")


14:47 Scribe: why this image is important to me is the resemblance I saw while watching Tomb Raider

v- the transom scene... that's all you have to say 

[ still searching ... getting discouraged... she may have lost the original photos & videos because of the "incomplete" backup - how images are numbered (they restart after imports - so back ups may think that you already have the image?? when you don't)... Scribe takes out another hard drive, thinking there may be something - photos/videos archives - on it... one cord works... electrical plug missing. ARGH. moves suck. ]

15:44 v- displacement disorder

Scribe: in full swing. I'm walking away. This is truly getting me bummed.


V- highlights, C

Scribe: yeah, yeah, yeah. At least I have those. but ARGH Scribe does not like that this is her fault and there may be missing files

v- happens with archiving

Scribe: ESPECIALLY when there are delays 

v- don't you go blaming... and I know you're being funny

Scribe [ grumpiliciously mumbling ] only partly.

Scribe: what PISSES me off is I did a few back-ups

V- and there is a chunk missing... I know

15:50 Scribe: a back up of MY ENTIRE photo library... my ENTIRE PHOTO LIBRARY IS NOT ON MY BACKUP. ARGH... and I KNOW this may be my fault

v- type of back up [ quickly said ]

Scribe: and that is part of my redundancy OCD... when I'm not sure...

v- you back it the f--- up [ a few times ] . I know.

Scribe: that time. but... there is this lovely mysterious box which might be a treasure trove

v- I know.. you have too many external hard drives

Scribe: chuckles... I have a feeling, though, ... this back up may be all that I have

v- with missing CHUNKS?! [ being funny and teasing ]

Scribe: I KNOW! [ playing along ] and I have no one to blame but myself... and possibly the DELAYER.

v- stop... I have nothing to do with your archiving

Scribe: oh, really?! do I remember correctly a voice saying "that back up will be enough [ without the redundant copy over ]?

v- you may have heard that [ quickly and quietly said ]

Scribe: I wouldn't normally point that out - crazy woman as I may appear - but I DISTINCTLY remember that utterance.... and I'm pissed off at myself more than anything

V- sorry... I know.... highlights ... now, walk away.



[ washing dishes, get marinade ready for shrimp, call daughter about the next step in her orthodontic treatment ]

Scribe (washing dishes) jokes about why can't we have quantum archiving already?! Instead I have to work with this backwards way of doing things so the hackers can't hack, I keep my peeps safe... but in the meantime, I lose shit..

v- or forget where it is...you rarely lose things, C

Scribe: Organized Chaos, here... 


16:24 v- oh, please mention it...

Scribe: let me pull the file - it's better how it came out initially...

BACKTRACK TO 02 Apr (44)


Scribe: yeah... this is the stuff that goes on inside my head...

v- all the f---ing time

16:28 posted

16:30 v- where did this come from? [ reminding ]

Scribe: I was just remembering my reference the 20th of March about the MMA ring in the movie... that's been a theme I've noticed lately

v- hm, hm


16:32 Scribe: I'm in the midst of organized chaos because I KNOW I have the power cord somewhere... but have no clue where (or a general idea) ... and I am NOT going [ to spend more of my time today trying to find it ]

v- you should keep that shit all in one place

Scribe: yah... [ and I DID up until or after the move... the point is I can't find It now ] I have a lot of stuff displaced right now because of the move. do not disturb the pissy one.

16:33 V- ok, I won't 


Scribe: "Dreams" by Fleetwood Mac is "hot" again? ... strange. [ listening ... yes, grew up with Fleetwood Mac songs ]

Now here you go again, you say
You want your freedom
Well who am I to keep you down
It's only right that you should
Play the way you feel it
But listen carefully to the sound
Of your loneliness
Like a heartbeat drives you mad
In the stillness of remembering what you had
And what you lost, and what you had, and what you lost

Thunder only happens when it's raining
Players only love you when they're playing
Say women they will come and they will go
When the rain washes you clean, you'll know, you'll know

Now here I go again, I see the crystal visions
I keep my visions to myself, it's only me
Who wants to wrap around your dreams and,
Have you any dreams you'd like to sell?
Dreams of loneliness,
Like a heartbeat, drives you mad
In the stillness of remembering, what you had,
And what you lost and what you had and what you lost

16:56 Scribe: today must be a dream day

v- yes, it must


Scribe cooking... : ah, memories... my parents may have had a cassette tape of Fleetwood Mac songs on it [ a la Guardians of the Galaxy ... my photographic memory is triggered again ]



17:08 Scribe: and, yes, I dreamed last night/early this morning. They were memorable... but only on the dream side of that plane between dreaming and waking. As soon as I awakened...

v- they were gone

Scribe: yup.

17:09 Scribe: I get these impressions - slight, vague.. or strong. it was strong before each awakening... but they didn't latch onto my memories(awareness). They did not carry over into my waking life (that I am aware of) ... it is my belief that our dreams affect us whether or not we remember them - in good and bad ways.

v- bad ways?

Scribe: hm... bad habits? unidentifiable fears/aversions

v- ok...


Scribe: I've touched upon the good ways

v- forecasting

Scribe: what we perceive but are not aware of revisits us in dreams

v- we work through them... yup


17:12 Scribe: if you ever ask yourself: how do I KNOW that? ... maybe it was from your dreams.

17:13 v- such as...?

Scribe: like the mention of GREEN in my head ...

v- while you were watching Tomb Raider

Scribe: end credits. I had a wake walk..

v- humorous

Scribe: a voice responded to me by saying "green" ... 

v- and WHY is this important

Scribe: was it the very next day?

v- yes... you can check

Scribe: someone knew I may see The Shape of Water soon ... hm. I wonder about that.

v- dream states... 


[ checking the log for 21 March (44) ... Scribe: yes, it was ]

17:19 Scribe: I will mention this about The Shape of Water because I don't have it written down anywhere else, I don't think. I noticed the design of the couch.

v- Egyptian

Scribe: yes

17:21 v- weeeiirrd

Scribe: hm, hm