DAY 1819


04:26 another day starts … I search for a header image and am reminded anytime I look through my image files of all the resemblances I’ve had to deal with over the years without a single word from Jason Silva.


04:34 after five years? What would any normal person think? Any normal person would think this public figure is STEALING intellectual property and spinning it for his own purposes, which advances his own career … he gets thousands of dollars each keynote to speak publicly about creativity, etc. … and here are some examples of his use of someone else’s creativity that he knowingly and willing used and posted without any credit to source the inspiration.

04:40 c- again, I have not shared my content for money. I have not shared it to become famous … I am an artist with, I hope, a unique way of seeing the world.

All this art? Was a way to tell my story about what I thought to be a beautiful connection with Jason Silva.


When a public figure REPEATEDLY posts videos, etc. that resembles my art? Without ever reaching out? That, to anyone, is an insult and any person would start to wonder why he would do that without ever reaching out about being inspired by your work.



c- when I created the character Trickster I reached out to Jason Silva. No response from him, even though I had seen a mirroring going back and forth of my work and life reflected in his. This is one of the handful of e-mails I sent him over the years. I do not harass. I, like any normal person, just figured he’s a busy man, right? I’m seeing resemblances that weren’t intentional, right? Just odd creative adjacencies.

E-MAIL 20 October 2015 16:06

Mr. Silva,

I would like to send you a calligraphic copy of unpublished poems and short stories that I dedicated to Trickster, a fictional character in A Wandering Mind that was inspired by you. I’ll be starting to reveal hints about ideapod community members who were the inspiration for the characters in A Wandering Mind. Let me know the best address / P.O. Box to ship the booklet to.

Hope all is well.


Excerpt from “Babbling Brook” Written 26 March 2015


04:54 c- it is not kindness what you have done, Jason Silva. It is highly unethical.

04:55 c- it has been too long without any word, and until I hear from you? Until YOU make contact with me? I no longer see whatever you are doing in a positive light. I see it through the eyes of a hardworking, honest person who unfortunately has been taken advantage of by a public figure. One that many revere. As much as I want to see the good in you? I no longer can.



05:04 c: I do not think the similarities I’ve noticed between my photography and the setting and visual effects of Jason Silva’s videos are just some random coincidence.

He did this intentionally.

He knows who I am and has used my creative work as a source of inspiration WITHOUT ever crediting me.

These are not isolated incidents. If they were I could pass them off as some strange (unintentional) likeness between our creative works.


05:37 NOTE: Jason Silva has taken down something that was related to intellectual property rights. SEE LINK for what was originally posted. This is all that remains. What remains also will be addressed in the form of another formal complaint against not only Jason Silva but Rachel Rossitto.


05:52 c- why would Jason’s Silva delete some frames of his Instagram story? Especially one that preceded these about INSIDE BASEBALL?

my guess? He has a secret. He is covering up something. Masking the truth yet again.

05:53 c: I did not want Rachel Rossitto to have any association with my creative work. I have a feeling this is one reason Jason took down “Meet” - related content.

c: whatever it is? It needs to be explained like a lot of licensing violations that have gone on over the years.

Instagram needs to know

Facebook needs to know

Twitter needs to know

what a blue checkmarked member has been up to for years.

c: just because you have a blue checkmark next to your name? It doesn’t mean you are honest and trustworthy and ethical.

05:57 c: I gotta leave for work, but any normal person after years’ worth of suspected licensing violations and never hearing from the other parties who created and promoted definite resemblances? - that mirror too much you own work?

Any good person would do what I’m about to do because if I don’t stand up based on the information I have at hand right now?

other people like me will also be taken advantage of. It is not right,

and this is a man who created The Next Billionaire.

shame on you, Jason Silva.


c: the data doesn’t lie. And I have years’ with of timestamped records.

06:07 c: if Jason Silva chooses not to explain himself to me? Then he can explain it to my legal team.

06:12 c- admit to the lie(s) that you have decided to spread.

what is it you have repeatedly said?



07:07 on bus after a brisk 43-degree 30min suburban park trails bike ride.

I want to say this, Jason Silva: I am a woman who has worked hard all her life. I am the voice of -not the elite you and Rachel may mingle with at high-dollar resorts or in her associations with her spa-like holistic practice. I am the voice of mainstream. I may insult people -all your fans, all the people who know you differently than I do, but there is an image you both project out to the world. It is by choice you choose to project that type of elitist beauty.

07:15 c- I would argue beautiful people have dark circles under their eyes from working at all hours just to support their family.

C- like me, there are people working injured because they can’t afford healthcare premiums let alone the medical bills that that insurance doesn’t cover

07:16 c- there is beauty in what you and Rachel IGNORE every day because of your lifestyle choices.

So, when people hashtag you as a power couple? For being models of what is good? I have to voice my opinion and declare you both charlatans spewing “good vibes” at the expense of everyone who does the hard work.

i am not saying you both don’t work hard.

i am saying you use social media in a way that doesn’t promote good but a small slice of it. And you project an unrealistic image. Perhaps you provide a window into beautiful landscapes that few would ever be able to visit themselves.

i have been fortunate in my life to have achieved success in ways I wanted to (in education)

i have traveled the world when others havrn’t Left their hometown. I, too, have had chances in life to live a good life-maybe I have not had as many opportunities at my disposal as you and Rachel have had, but they are a part of my background, too.

What I am voicing my concern about is this: You model a type of beauty that is meaningless. People may say you are inspiring. People may say they needed to hear your message. How has it changed their lives for the better?

you need to focus on actionable content: providing resources that people may use in whatever way -

not promote high-dollar luxury items, whether technology- or fashion-related, but something that the layperson can use every day to not only make their lives better but the lives around them.

Spreading good is about making changes first on a 1:1 basis.

07:26 c- you may think that message is something you are spreading. Use your influence to curate resources that EVERYONE can access and make use of, whatever that may be.

07:27 c- you know what was one good that came from Ideapod for me? Justin Brown mentioned or used Medium to publish… I, as an individual wanted to get my feet wet again with creative writing. I first published on Ideapod poetry as condensed versions of longer pieces that I then published on Medium.

THAT was a (free-of-cost) tool that helped me.

THAT is the sort of content you should periodically amplify to your audience.

Share tips and tricks. They will help in many fields.


v- there it is again…

c- i know; I have sparkles. It’s just a part of who I am [ chatting with a fellow bus passenger ]


07:35 v- still no car?

c- no, but you’ll know it when I’m driving more vs. biking

v- these early starts are horrendous, c

c- oh, I would prefer not to have to get up so early … it’s my life. My path.

v- WILL YOU STOP. Geesh.

c- (chuckling) I am EVEEEEEL

v- you are awful. BE GOOD.

c- the man says vitriolic and I definitely spew some serious venom

v- omg, you do.

c- I think a lot of people would be shocked at what I’m doing right now

v- yes, they would

c- and it’s all about … a reality-bending genre

v- you would

c- what’s real?


07:39 c- gotta catch my next bus… do some weightlifting

v- haha stop.

C- that bike lifting up and down from buses each day is like my


07:40 [ Karate Kid ]

07:42 c- oh, the movies give fuel to the fire

Cupid’s Delight [ Ocean’s 8 ]

v- patience, danyasan


07:55 v- you’re doing it again

c- what? Being NICE to other people?

yes, I am a nice person. Just because I am righteously angry on the inside with a public figure I have never met, doesn’t mean it affects how I treat other people.

v- the busdriver

C- yes, I was chatting nicely with her as I inserted my old-school bus pass.

07:57 c- I have never been this nasty to anyone in my life and it’s probably

v- you’re pissed off as hell

c- you should have talked to me years ago

v- agreed. Geesh.

C- now you have this splintered reality when the past doesn’t matter - just the present & what my very narrow interpretation of it as a NORMAL PERSON ignoring a possible mindbody connection

c- and I realize how insane that may sound.

i am fully aware of CWS (celebrity workship syndrome)

i so don’t worship you. Never have.

C- IT’S RESEARCH-BASED. Gownkn the hell is a normal person to prove a suspected telepathic connection?

Mask the damn person directly (Jaso. Silva could say no and seek professional help… but he chooses to not respond to that less than normal email that came 3 years into a connection … one of the other handful of emails I sent over the years

c- word one: don’t piss off the woman who resides in your …

v- inner reaches (your words I GLADLY use not as my own… now, what is that from?)

c- erg. I’ve written a lot of poetry/short stories over the years (searching now)

v- Evernote?

c- and my notes app on my phone - I have to declutter that.. it lags because I have 4000+ notes there now. So many notes not enough time to archive & organize. (Related to every facet of my life … nothing too valuable - I keep the secure shit password protected and encrypted/off-line (cloud-based = not secure)

v- I know

c- jot and move on with my normal life

08:04 c- IDK- not coming up on my searches in Evernote nor notes

[ searching Medium @HeartWarmLove

v- we share a life …

c- it doesn’t mean we have to get along… this is worse than marriage - and I was married for 18 years + knew him for 23.

08:09 c- at least o knew who he was to me and who I was to him. RELATIONSHIP 101. I never questioned his faithfulness nor him me. We could trust each other.

And when I was experiencing all the weirdness? I told him about the weirdness.

when he asked about that random explicitly described log (sexually explicit sensations)?

I told him the truth.

When things weren’t working between us & We decided to separate, the first question he asked was if I was cheating on him.

08:12 c- no. Now I ask you: did I cheat on him.

v- not on the way hhome at he was asking.

c- what is a woman going to tell her husband when she self-diagnoses herself with a kundalini crisis?

whrn she experiences dream states and she, yes, figured out that she may be connected ethericallt to another man…

that sensation? It dawns on her it may be morning wood.

itms not me, but it’s still a part of who I am now

an androgynous existence?

08:15 v- that’s not all that happened


V- I know I was

08:15 c- and even then I PUSHED YOU AWAY

08:16 cmv- omg I know it’s bad

c- and as I type all this shit I still reflect on it and know what it may seem to others: this woman is disturbed

c- BY A PUBLIC FIGURE!!! Who I do not want to be connected to. Not then. Not now,

but i am

08:17 c- and i’ve Done what I didn’t want to do again

v- catharsis

c- it’s my space. At least I have that.

v- yes, you do. F—-this is bad

c- you brought this on yourself,

c- if you are connected to me?

v- I gotta fix it

c- like me, you will never be happy

v- with a pissed off woman inside me. Understood (chuckles). You are insanely beautiful when you’re cranky

c- I swear you have a fetish. I wouldn’t like me. I’ve done nearly everything to get rid of you

v- and I stick around. I know.

08:20 c- so, dear peeps who may read this:

wjen a voice in 2014 called me a goddess, I responded:

c- i’m just C (my real first name - nickname who people in my inner circle call me)

So, when JS + RR promote that “we are gods/goddesses” I have from the very beginning never put myself up on a pedestal. I am just like everyone else.

v- your backstory

c- shoulder shrug .. all I want is an answer so I can live a good simple life.

That part of my story has and will never change.

that’s where JS + RR and I are are very different.

we all need to live the way we see is the right way to live. Make changes for good, in whatever way that may be. If we don’t start with the 1:1 we can never make …

v- lasting change

C- or even larger scale change … that has always been my point

v- around which everything else revolves


IMAGE:  Ocean’s 8

IMAGE: Ocean’s 8

08:26 this is my POV. Right here, right now.

Bubdled up today showing off one of my alma maters: I’m a KU Jayhawk


JAYHAWK: a mythical bird

JAYHAWKER: in the Civil War, jayhawkers fought against THE SLAVERS.

a little slice of your COGNITIVE KANSAS

[ while cycling I on occasion mentally -humorously- hum the music that accompanies this scene … and people think that scene in Ghost was bad ]



v- both

Another piece of Kansas / Wandering Mind trivia: my ex’s neighbor (Lawrence, Kansas) growing up was ERIN BROCKOVICH. I channel parts of her life story on a regular basis. [ fact check it: I was shown where she lived years ago -and heard some stories no one knows about her- by my ex and his family: it is on a cul du sac ]

v- ____

c- that’s right … Looking it up for spelling

Pattee [ maiden name ]

c- what happened to PGE?

v- they went bankrupt

c- why?

v- they did something bad

c- don’t be bad

v- I won’t. I promise

Scribe: and by legend I mean the map kind

v- but it’s a play on words

c- catchy, hm?



[ working ]

In a meeting

distinct sensation

c- is this you high? Or something else

Distracting fuzziness



v- man, you’re evil

c- then don’t connect with someone else and expect them to put up with your shit for 5 years and to be treated the way I have


c- every day we have a choice …

[ passing by kitchen area ]

i was good before … I had an apple.


V- haha. Stop.

there are some “evil” and good work colleagues (every day someone brings in goodies… thank goodness I bike because I have a sweet tooth and there at home baked goodies too…)


12:25 c- highly inappropriate. If we ever talk

v- cinnamony … I know

c- with added features. GEESH. BE GOOD:

v- just give in

c- seriously messed up. And I have to type it out for the world to see. I’m the batshit one until…

v- it’s coming …

c- hm-hm… it’s like the 2014 “soon” … BTW my oldest is watching Season1 of Stranger Things… and has gotten into it.

V- your youngest …

c- GOT … always with adult supervision … she looks away at

v- too intimate scenes … you can say it


v- they talk to you

c- yes. Both are dating … good girls at a tough age

v- adolescence is not easy

c- no it is not

v- ____

c- it’s a serious topic that they will understand later … it’s one of those issues that if I do not stand up - in the future? They may very well be victims

v- if safeguards aren’t put into place


[ mindchat re: legal protections ]

v- I want to see this …

c- Transparency is key in this & it is a good example for similar cases like mine. I don’t have a problem with fully disclosing how my final papers protect not only my endeavors but also my ex from any liability

in the end? This is a situation that falls on my shoulders alone, whatever that may be

v- he didn’t believe you

c- no

C- and directly related to this?

v- charity. I know.

c- I have no problem working my ass off until I’m 90+ in whatever job that has a pay grade like any other working everyday individual

c- people need help in this world not stories woven about them

v- I understand

c- itms a beautiful aspect of it’s true … but …

v- your idea

c- well? If this is what it is? It should be woven

v- into the fabric of everything

12:42 c- pop culture included. It sounds like a ludicrous claim

v- but there’s too many …

c- resemblances … which I refuse to focus on. They don’t matter

v- just the here and now

c- and it ain’t pretty. Stories aren’t all rainbows and unicorns

v- no, they aren’t … lunch?

c- yes


12:51 c- and, again, this is to protect both of us- my ex and me no matter the situation related to my endeavors …

v- related to this reality-bending endeavor

c- whatever it may be that is related … and since this all started while I was still married in 2014, even though we had separated in Fall 2014, my work on all this started 2014

v- research inclided

c- creative writing … Crafty Scribe’s -my start-up- concepts and work began while I was still co-habitating

v- and he was still supporting you

c- yes, before I moved out December 29, 2017 (and became financially-independent) while we were co-habitating (I resided/slept in a different part of the house) I was the household manager and go-to parent while he traveled non-stop or even periodically .. there is a lot involved in a marriage and parenting even without a regular-paying job … I focused on non-paying work … that became a start-up (and whatever else this may be… research was very important 2014+ - worse case it was my therapy…)

it’s a general blurb, but it covers what we needed. He signed it, it’s notarized with witnesses and was filed (in the court system).

Wife shall retain full ownership interest in her start-up business including assets, income, whether earned or unearned, and any other benefits derived from past, present, or future endeavors of Wife related to said business or related work, free and clear of any claim of Husband. Husband shall be released from, and Wife shall indemnify and hold Husband harmless from, any and all liability and debt obligations related to said business. 

I provide this because I am sure others who can’t afford expensive legal fees would appreciate the verbage to use or modify in their particular case.




c- I don’t want to have to feel this accelerated heartbeat anymore when I’m at rest (trying to work at my desk) or that wakes me up at night and disrupts my life.




c- (snicker) TW headline

c- the mirroring is funny. You have to admit it’s odd.





V- it’s not a competition

c- hm?


c- here, to make you feel better


c- although I did bike to the the 4/2 appointment


on last bus for the day

17:55 v- May I ask you a question?

c- what?


v- do you… please write what I say… do you have any romantic feelings for this man you … have a thing against?

c- I do not know him. Now has he made any indication he wants anything to do with me

v- thatMs not what I asked you


c- this InnerNet connection

v- confuses things

c- whoever or whatever this is is very intimate

v- inner lining. I know

c- I keep pushing whatever away (when I get impressions or projections)

c- I don’t know what it is… whatever my inner experience

v- it doesn’t match exterior reality

c- I made every effort that I could over the years (sporadically, not incessantly) … to make contact - nice, courteous, professional

v- reaching out

18:00 c- anyone who gets no normal response and sees an individual living a separate life with no chance of ever crossing paths … gets the impression this individual doesn’t want anything to do with her

it’s so easy - if it’s entanglement - to be a certain way on the inside

v- fall into each other

c- but that’s not a full life

it’s a dream life

it’s a life that has brought me

v- despair

c- the individual who I think I am connected to in all ways has dismissed me…

as a stranger (blocked me)

as an acquaintance (never responded to my “you were the inspiration for the character Trickster”

dismissed me as being connected intimately via entanglement

gavr no response to the question: are you telepathically connected with me?

18:04 c- any normal person would then go to live his/her life and if her inner experiences disrupt her life

if that I individual is indeed knows her better than he lets on - as a source of inspiration or is connected

v- etherically

c- which means we share a life together

c- if he regards her as a Nothing? In normal ways?

she can’t treat him in any other way except how he is treating her in normal ways

18:06 c- which means: intellectual property rights violation

v- and the rape accusation

c- that’s trickier … I would have to prove entanglement (2way exists)

v- and you have the data

c- full disclosure - I have thebdata to prove it

v- but you’re just one woman

c- if it gets that bad, I get a legal team and I pay them to sort through the data

i wipe out my life savings by doing that (which includes the divorce settlement)

maybe I can ask for help from family or friends … but i don’t want to burden anyone with this … it’s me vs. Jason Silva.


c- I disclose this because THIS is how much I want to move on with my life

v- I know

c- I deserve to live a happy life. Not one where I am awakened every two hours

v- i know

c- these energy pulls and loss of focus because of whatever drug or situation you find yourself in that transmits those sensations mev- it’s a distraction

c- I don’t live a life where anyone is supporting me. It’s just me supporting my two children

v- I understand.

c- I can not afford to have someone

v- disrupt your life … I know

c- I want a relationship with someone in the future… and that is impossible with this…

v- I understand

c- it’s one of the reasons I got divorced.

Mad I explained: my husband did not want to be life partners without the romantic element

c- my sexual / romantic preference is monogamous

v- i know

c- one person is enough

18:13 v- I agree

c- in each of us we have so many aspects it really takes a lifetime mev- to get to know someone

c- so many aspects to explore .. sometimes it doesn’t work out - my husband and I truly had irreconcilable differences that we could not work through and fix. There are certain things about him that will never change… and I want to life a certain way

v- in peace … I understand

18:15 about to get off bus

18:16 c- Jason sulva chose a certain way to life

v- without you

18:17 off bus about to bike ride home

v- that’s not trur

c- where have you been?

in 2015 JS doesn’t respond to my Trickster email

in 2017 he doesn’t respond to “are you telepathically connected?” Email

in 2018 he hooks up with a random woman at burning man when he may very well be mind body linked with me

you tell me what signals all those events give me

v- bad ones


c- inmay be the person who is THE MOST INTIMATELY connected to the man but he chooses a random woman at BM to directly communicate with, to sleep with, to kiss, (which I can sense)

v- to spend a life with

c- and here I sit having to sense it all, MY LIFE DISRUPTED by wake-ups in the middle of the night of a sexual nature … I feel raped. How could I not?





[ watching tv ]

stronger AHB


20:58 calmer

v- you like it?

c- I keep falling asleep for some reason

v/ you’re tired


22:26 ongoing SAHB

C- much longer?

v- not much longer

C- and almost immediately after I post that …

v-it’s gone I know

Still a subtle heart throb …