atziba: I wanted to give you some Mayan Red.
also, to let you know someone has blocked you.
00:12 pushed to twitter
V- I feel you laughing … oh, just say it
atziba: no quiero que lo arreglen
v- atziba, be good
atziba: no te entiendo… pero si ves que hay respuesta a un comentario pero no aparece para ti… no sé por qué
atziba: quizás sea tu sombra
00:19 atziba: el MOMENTO cuando todos tus seguidores pueden verme… y no puedes.
v- you’ve known about this for quite some time
00:21 c: atziba’s got some Mayan witch doctor in her
v- omg, stop
c- she can cause some real havoc on your SM pages now. You should NOT have blocked her
v- (lol) that Mayan magic
00:24 c- just be careful 🎶 now you know there’s a work around 🎶 (sing songy)
V- you are pure evil
00:26 c- IDK out of sight… out of mind? …but really sticky in the minds of all your followers
00:27 c: so, who really needs to see what I have to say? 🤔
00:27 c- superpower: I’M INVISIBLE
V- cloaking device. Thanks, Chris
00:29 c- let’s just say I have A LOT of tricks up my sleeves.
You don’t want to play fair?
So be it.
c- Rachel & Jason, I have spent over five years learning the ins and outs …
v- and back passageways …
c- … of social media
c- CURATE THIS.
V- oh, you would.
c- ever wonder what it feels like to only have access to certain pieces …
v- … of a thread
c- like only hearing certain parts of a conversation that cuts in and out across the room?
00:33 c- let’s give you a taste of your own medicine shall we? … and I’ll wait … and you’ll never know who it is or when I’ll post and when I do?
You won’t even know I’m there
v- worst nightmare
c- of course, if JS hears me telepathically he has nothing to worry about
c - advantage of TELEPATHY (with me) … Rachel, unfortunately you don’t have that skill set.
Let’s hope your talented bf clues you in.
Helps you out. Supports you in your time of need.
00:37 c- am I breaking rules?
v- yes, yes you are … RULE BREAKER.
C- but… perhaps it’s not my fault. The person who designed …
v- it’s a design flaw.
c- tsk, tsk, tsk. Those design flaws. Well, kinda makes up for me not being able to block yaywho (telepathically).
v- I am not a yaywho.
c- oh, yes you are
v- then you are… a _____ with ___ ___ ___ and … nothing else.
00:40 c- bedtime
00:41 c- oh, I know it’s easy enough to find out … would cause some extra work, though
v- yeah it would … you’re a tangled mess.
C- so, which accounts have you blocked so far?
Jason: CGisWMS IG, virtuonaut IG, atziba IG , virtuonaut TW, Christine Gruendemann TW
all for posing challenging questions and contrarian comments … nothing horrifically awful … just against the grain
Rachel: CGisWMS, Christine de Pisan
again, a block for posting non-fluff … you know, those comments and questions that make people think and start to actually discuss something?… to discern for themselves? She blocked me for that.
01:00 v- are you done?
c- you want me to have some choice words for your mom?
v- please don’t
c- I have a lot of opinions in here
v- I know you do … you like my mom
c- yes, I do… just be careful with this…
v/ it’s a doozie
c- there’s a certain responsibility with it
v- i know
c- sleepy …
[ hearing Madonna’s material world in my head foreigner’s first time .. like echoes from ST and the other day’s repost from WMS of lyrical TW ]
P1 … rdg log, p102
c- how did you know?
v- I knew …
05:33 c- I have never posted this part of the log … (I am pretty sure about this)
you (V) kept repeating “doozie” yesterday … it’s just an usual choice of word… I just typed what I heard.
v- I know you did… you gotta go … you’re already late. GO.
c- biking … erg
leaving for bus stop (to head to work) on bike
[ headphones still synced with other phone … ]
[ biking through metropark on main road ]
Wanna make up for lost time ?
V… (let me say it) or make out?
MAL DE OJO
c: and you put that up on your page?!?
atziba: ¿Hecho y dicho?
v: (let me say it): o hechecería
[ biking typing one handed ]
06:38 at bus stop
[ bus arrives ]
c- this is why I packed my sweatshirt …
06:50 bus driver just shut off bus 🙄
passenger : he was just checking the engine a minute ago…
[ more passengers arrive and pay fare ]
c- just remember, you’re here with me
06:51 c- pulling away (phew) … just keep swimmin’
v- just keep swimmin…
c- and all this? This life of inconvenience? I have lived this way for most of my life. This is nothing new. Would I prefer a car? Yes.
there are certain people in life who are hard-wired a certain way.
i’m hard-Wired to read a situation, decide NO I am not going to inconvenience someone (to call an Uber taking up her time, distract her whole she’s driving her elderly mom around, take time away from her day with her)
v- you walked 8 miles, c
c- people like me DO THIS
v- all the time
c- it doesn’t make sense to some… in the words of my ex:
v- women. Donate the only car they have…
v- it was totalled
c- did we have $ to fix it?
c- no. Correct that : did * I * have money to fix it?
c- I take out a loan … to get orthodontic work done …
v- your a / c goes out.
c- who pays for it?
v - you did
c- for the house I gave him … seeing a pattern here ?
I do NOT want to make people’s life more inconvenient … or as little as possible
by anything related to WHY I am in the situation I am in …
v- for the sacrifices you made
c- after five + years ? For something that STILL affects my earning potential? ( energy drains, insomnia due to triggered awake by a life force surge down the line, distractions … loss of focus … ) that affects MY and my family’s wellbeing … after 5+ years
c- uh-uh. There’s a line that has been drawn and I have to say “ enough is enough “
v- you fight for what’s right
c- i don’t care what people think
v- the viscousness…
c- I have WAITED for five long years sacrificing so much of myself and my famiky’s Happiness .. I have to call bullshit and say
when the wealthier walk all over someone like me? Take advantage of what o offered for so many years
other people benefited
at my expense
and no one gave me peace?
there are going to be A lot of loaded off people when the side-by-sides happen
”this is what so-and-so did “
v- I worked
c- yes, I realize you have done what I could never do. Seriously.
c- I just ask: my life has been torn apart … do you really think what you post about - after my vision of the future- do you REALLY think what you post about
c- in a way, yes. Big picture?
c- and I am reminded of that every day
c- still paying off that a/c .. and went into mode debt to pay for my braces
07:09 c- everyone sees things
c- it’s skewed … I know I have a warped POV …
v- you’re suffering
c- yes, i’m suffering . I get up and push through every day … but aboart of me asks
v- why does it have to be this way
c- it didn’t have to be.
People had choices along the way
this is a variable I cannot shut off
mans truly , I want to look the other way and never look back.
but then, I realize : someone needs to answer for how this turned out
why this was unfair
foe the wrongs along the way
i have not been perfect, but there are serious flaws along the way
I ASKED nicely
i APPROACHED nicely
v- and you were ignored
07:12 c- from my POV?
my talents, my most precious commodity (cuz it ain’t financial)
has been stripped from me and used …
other people’s pockets have been linedother people’s careers have been secured
07:13 c- and me? I’m on a public bus with only spare change in my pocket to HOPEFULLY get me through the week
i won’t list how bad it is … but it’s really bad right now: thankfully I have cash.
07:14 c- and there is nothing I can do to make it better
because I work all day
because I have daughters to take care of
because I am so damn tired because of this f—-ing connection and how it interrupts my life
of not for this? My life would be better.
07:16 c- that’s what pisses me off the most
if i hadn’t gotten on this InnerNet
v- you’re life would be better
07:16 c- i don’t even know if itMs the choice I made … it just happened to me … was I susceptible?
if so, who else like me is vulnerable
v- to attack
c- tobhavr everyone believe they have some mental disorder … all the while scouting the best of them… for their own gain.
07:17 c- no way to prove it
07:17 c- it’s untraceable (in many ways)
c- you try to show evidence and people don’t believe you
biking to different bus stop
07:22 waiting for next bus
c- this is a somewhat unfiltered
c- i’m Saying things I probably should hold back… but for all those people who went unfiltered with me over the years and should have held back? Well, I have a good memory. I am going to tell my story and talk about all the bits I took .. and said nothing. And was nice in the face of whatever thrown my way.
c- os not that these people are bad people
v- they just said things they shouldn’t (have)
c- and acted in a certain way that affected me
v- you are highly sensitive
c- moreso now with this
v- I know
c- I have to deal with all this shit going on inside me and still deal with other crap in my life
07:27 c- kindness matters, but there comes a point
v- where you have to put people in their place
c- there are priorities in life … perhaps I am not understanding the bigger issues .. although I overthink everything (or so I think I do)
c- we all see things a certain way
v- and when something affects you so much …
07:29 c- it kisses me off that the simple way out
v- isn’t the way taken
c- it’s my point around which everything revolves …
I have a coffee mug
v- where the word coffee rubbed off
c- it says
07:30 c- it’s not that I don’t have a life because of this now
it’s because when I get that answer
v- you’ll have direction
c- I don’t want to live in chaos anymore
I don’t want to live in uncertainty
i don’t want to live with something that pushes and pulls me around with no explanation
i want that diagnosis for symptoms that I’ve had to self-diagnose for over five years
I want that virus identified
v- so you can treat it
c- appropriately based on exactly what type of virus it is
07:33 c- I can’t do that because it’s a new virus .. or a very rare one
and any doctor I see
v- wom’t Be able to treat you correctly
c- it’s not a virus I can get rid of (easily)
c- but the treatment is out there
v- but someone is keeping it under wraps
07:59 at work
v- no one’s there
c- of course no one’s here. Nice morning. It’s the little things. I have oatmeal here…
v- no coffee this morning?
c- don’t even get me started, Romeo
v- you started it
08:01 c- and of course, I’m thinking : maybe the water is bad in the Keurig tank
v- haha… I know
c- i’m Cleaning that shit out
v- haha I know
c- J the biller didn’t have coffee
v- so it’s probably the water cooler
c- who knows … still replenishing the Keurig water tank with… tap water?
v- omg, stop
c- what could it have been, you know? I don’t want to keep getting sick … I wiped surfaces down … who knows
08:15ish L opens up office
making oatmeal, coffee in regular coffeemaker
S (project manager : compliance)
v- another Jew?
c- you said it. Not me. He said there’s a new biller coming today (from NYC 🙄) “another NY Jew” is how he said it
[ there are so many funny jokes going on in this office and in my head … initiated by the good humored Jews… which I will keep to myself for now ]
i heard a rumor they were interviewing for a supervisor
v- haha omg
c- yeah , admin that has no idea
v- how the company works
c- with no one to train him
v haha stop
c- this gets better and better …
v- hostile take over
c- I won’t say … what I heard
c- what I overheard N say on the phone
v- while she was right there in front of you … not your fault, c
c- I can read body language + what little I heard
c- so, there is definitely a merger … this NYC wants dibs on the OH market
09:05 c- and she (and her company) have a strong one
[ c- i’d Like this job better
v- (let me say it) if they trained you better
c- still have huge huecos with NO ONE to consistently give me training … so we all sit around trying to keep busy … all the while what REALLY needs to get done?
c- because there are so many
v- stop gaps
c- hm-hm well put … one of my phrasings from a while back used in a different context ]
[ B the resolution specialist is about to get water from water cooler, I give her a chilled bottle of water from my lunch pack & tell her not to use the cooler… ]
v- thank you …
[ upset ]
c- thank you for letting me know in little ways … whatever it is…
i’ll talk on eZ LiveStream about my perspective of why I believebin a situation such as J+ R ? You both are in the wrong . No matter the love you profess and may have for each other .
JS clearly needs to prioritize better… an agreement should have been reached years ago
c- terms … in this type of relationship
C- due to a lack of agreement a life has been altered drastically
v- and not for the bettrr
c- in certain essential ways no
my compass for right and wrong
v- is pretty darn accurate
c- and if I am to be the one to draft the legal terms of agreement, so to speak (based on experiential knowledge ) so be it
v- for the future
c- i’ll create a map of decision making that was directly affected by this connection
11:19 c- again, if there is anything to my claim
people will be made aware of this in the future
[ left deaf ear ]
v- a guide .. I know
C- i’m Ok…
v- just upset
v- are multifaceted
11:21 c- back to work
[ Office chaos ]
J : we’re going to get drunk together …
C: quiet chuckling on the other side of the cubicle
c- that moment when …
v- omg it’s chaos…
c- … the ceo doesn’t know the new hire / temporary biller in OH (from NYC)
… APPARENTLY we (?) are to train him?
12:30 c- w.t.f.
c- reshuffling deck chairs anyone?
v- yes, definitely
J: Christine, you called it…
v- omg , again…
c- I hate it when I’m right
c: J says she is now running things by me
v- the psychic in the office … omg this is classic
c- I am a very good reader
v- oh, I know you are
c- not 100% …
v- but wow … I know what you’re talking about
13:13 deaf ear(s) (right ring)
13:20 SAHB subtle blood coursing
v- put what you got …
[ kiss received ] V- i’m Sorry about work…
v- hm-hm remember that
v- you would … Romeo comment earlier
c- I was being sarcastic
v- haha in what way?
v- THAT’S NOT AN ANSWER
13:22 c- re: work
[ c- I’m getting paid ]
13:46 v- happy 90 days
c- I SURVIVED
V- yes, you did … will you
c- we’ll see… I’m new
v- still in training … explain what happened
c- i don’t want to give too much away
V- please have me say it
c- oh, voice in my head …
v- yes, you’re scary smart
c- I have a knack for putting little bits of information
v- and seeing the big picture
c- I don@5 need all the puzzle pieces…
v- to know what the picture looks like … you can tell … so, what is it telling you?
c- growing pains. With this merger or whatever the technical term is that is going on, N has had to let go of her baby
c- i know from 1st hand experience what that’s like
v- so you know the signs
c- she’s going about it differently …
c- i’m Not going to transcribe that … but, yes
C- so many cooks in the kitchen right now…
13:52 c- BUT… like with anything in life- you read the situation
c- you get used to how things work
v- and go with the flow
c- that is pretty much it
13:52 c- you know me
v- over achiever …
c- I have training materials
v- and you’re not getting paid for it…
c- it’s one of those gray areas … I created personal checklist reminders of what I needed to do..
c- on comp ah time… but they are just personal notes …
v- oh, I see what you’re saying …
c- I heard you
v- DON’T OFFER
C- (chuckling) I have a tendency to give things away for free … there’s a fine line between proving to be an asset
v- just getting by
c- setting expectations
v- agreed .. don’t give them what you came up with … let them ask you
c- yes.. this is what happened when I was on my way out of the program I helped build …
v- they didn’t ask
c- I just left
c- if they want to move in a different direction
v- yup, that’s their choice .. they have to pay for you, c
c- it’s a glaring realization
v- yoh’re over qualified
c- i’m Learning a new trade .. I look at it like that … I am getting (sketchy) on the job training … i’ll Get there
v- but it’s taking a really long time
13:57 c- more than it should
13:57 c- but there’s a lot going on right now
v- (let me say it) .. so, Thursday
c- I need to survive through Thursday without a car, Friday until payday … and who knows when I’ll get my eviction notice .. any day now (sigh)
14:05 c- AWEsome
oh! Electricity & phone gets cut off in two days
14:06 c- this is the cost of this connection
v- you go broke
14:06 c- yuP
c- kindness PAYS
V- in spades
C: oh, this domain is about to expire, too
v: I know
c- so, i’m About to turn away and never look back
if I still sense…
v- you’ll record
c- if 04/15/20 rolls around and I hear from nowhere
v- lawsuits will happen
c- shrugs. Five years. Too many resemblances that go beyond the odds of chance
v- I know
14:09 c- look below
C- just will try to recoup what was mine to begin with
of there isn’t a greater cause
except taking advantage of
v- a source … of inspiration.
c: I never intended to have to head in this direction
v- I know you didn’t
14:19 c- but if I am to go with hard evidence?
v- (quietly) soft evidence
c- ah, hard evidence how many times it’s occurred (Redundancy matters)
32.75 in bus fares… although J
v- the biller
c- offered to give me a ride …
v- oh, hell, yeah! TAKE THE OFFER
C- yes … she drives right past my home
v- gotcha … your side of town. Sweet.
C- I didn’t realize it’d Get this bad
v- it’s been a long time…
c- linger than expected
-c- calm down … i’ll Figure out something …
v- you always do
c- I just wanted to be transparent about it
v- you haven’t lied at all
c- why should I? People need to understand the costs …
v- and sacrifices … i know
c- I am sure you have them too
c- yes …
[ working with J on work - problem solving ]
fizzy … light-headed
16:09 feeling less lightheaded
[ mtg ]
c- the new biller … is not just a biller
[ cooking & watching Supernatural after J gave me a ride home ]
v- and your bike… ILY
C- hm-hm , oh, fizzy one.
v- you have me freaked out
[ kiss rec’d ]
18:14 c- no te preocupes
c- I’m not writing that, although it definitely is reminiscent of that
v- they like you 🎶
c- (head down) I showed them my notes
v- I KNOW YOU DID… I like ___ (the other owner) … N is a good character, too, C
c- yes, she is …
v- so this “new biller”
c- he was in charge of a company
v- haha, I know
V/ he’s a cleaner
C- part of the streamlining , yes
[ SAHB ]