DAY 1870


01:33 posting


01:37 different filters


[ reading book blurb ]

02:06 c- we talk about this …

v- all the time

c- I don’t even have to read it

v- no, you don’t

02:08 v- mention what you said

c- I don’t remember the context … but I was chatting with J the Marketer, a nice older lady I work with, who has a few side endeavors

v- most do there …

c- many of us have second or third jobs … anyway, we were talking about hobbies and I said having a variety of hobbies is healthy / makes you healthier

c- she has one side gig making bakery products for humans and dogs / pets

02:12 c- I think she’s involved with the (children’s) hospital

v- volunteer work

c- yes, one of her passion projects



02:15 v- and the other day?

c- oh, I was reflecting on not getting mired in one field & getting experience in a variety (make yourself versatile = you become an asset. adaptability + creativity … in any field )

people tend to trust those who can relate with more people

v- be good

c- just sayin’ … haha, I am my own manuscript in the making (educator, lawyer, IT, in the medical field, journalist … characters in A Wandering Mind )

I never thought I’d go into the medical field .. and here I am in one aspect of it … a position which has to understand the clockworks of every aspect of a healthcare organization ( and all types of insurances) … I have to work on puzzles every day … to solve problems as a biller.


c- what’s nice about this job…

v- training on the job


today I self taught myself because it was bothering me (the endless acronyms in yet another profession)


i’m not yet fully trained on Medicare (i don’t work with those patient files/insurances) so this is why I didn’t know what these were… entirely.

basically 60% of a patient’s overall care is paid upfront (RAP - Request for Anticipated Payment) … at the end of episode (EOE) a healthcare provider has to provide evidence of service to get the other 40% … if something isn’t submitted correctly, etc?

V- the money is taken back

c- the initial 60% and the org doesn’t get paid the other 40% either.. the appeal process could taken over 2 months or more … for services already provided.

v- if you bill wrong

c- that means your business had to pay staff already …

v- you’re out of that money

c- yeah, don’t have a rookie touch Medicare.



trying to sleep

open spring water moist freshness 

02:52 fire antsy soles 

[ kiss ]

V- I am not with her, c

C- not in physical space?

V- no 

continuing to sense coming onto me sense

C- come on. Stop




04:12 awake

06:07 awake 


c: [ sways back and forth ] : bald guy in a copy cat 🎶 (Chris Farley-ism)



07:16 v- be nice … you are sensing something

c: i’m trying to ignore it

v: because you think I’m with someone

c: I suspect, yes. Just because I don’t know for sure doesn’t mean my sensations aren’t real (that I define as nonlocal)

v: quantum entanglement


07:18 c: Rachel Rossitto is a huge offender of enabling a filter bubble / echo chamber to exist … she avoids challenges. She censors at least one contrarian voice. She has a right to filter out comments that don’t abide by her… how does she put it on her website…? (can’t find it , but basically she said that she has the right to kick someone out of a session if they don’t play nice)

(which is problematic because it ends up not helping but hurting people in certain ways)

c- quite frankly? She would wilt if ever put in a debate because she’s ill-prepared on many fronts

c- she sets herself up for future failure if ever she thinks to become more of a public figure … she’s made ethical mistakes galore already. Her interactions with comments border on fake news (which I am illustrating already) … misleading the public … and yet, when a voice asks her to expound on her interactions and ambiguous likes to give her audience a clearer picture?




SHE ERASES comments that challenge the echoes in her chamber.


c- for a business woman? Who uses Instagram to promote her services?

she is no better than shady businesses THAT DELETE negative reviews … just so their brand LOOKS better


c: anything I say here is my opinion … it is based on ten months of observations to the granular level of her comments (99.9% to compliments) and likes (again 100% are dedicated to COMPLIMENTS)

that is not being inclusive

that is EXCLUDING and putting up walls, preventing any sort of progress or better understanding amongst a wider range of people from ever happening.

BIG RED FLAG if you have 17,000 followers and NONE of your comments are ever in any way negative or go against the grain?

That’s a sign of a FILTER BUBBLE

a monotonous, boring page not worth following (she really is a falsetto siren with no range WHATSOEVER)

07:33 c- am I wrong? No, I am not . Do your research. Click on people’s Instagram profiles who say they love her sessions …


look at the comments. There are more emojis than words.

Her Instagram posts and threads are evidence of ZOMBIFICATION … what is that line from “Empathic Slide” …?

Mirrors on the walls are drooping portraits of lethargic, apathetic zombies lulled into a stupor by the din of noise, spreading rumors, mixed spirits, incoherent ogling and numbing inhibitions.

07:35 c: no doubt: I think she is trying to do good. To spread good messages …

v- but she’s going about it the wrong way

c: the truth always comes back to bite you in the ass… HER RANGE / REACH will only go so far if THAT is her audience and sole contributors to her IG posts.

v- agreed

C- she has a choice to remain silent

she has a right to delete and block

and curate a page that best suits the IMAGE that she wants for that space

c: but what model is she following?

c: how many people really want to read endless emojis and … when they walk away from that experience what is their take away?

What did they learn?






c- there is no growth mindset


07:42 c- maybe some want to be exposed to meaningless drivel (big picture drivel)

others prefer content with interactions that build a community of meaningful discussions and thought-provoking comments, Q&A’s

what she stands for?

V- she has been questioned about

c- I was one of THE VERY FEW people who questioned her content … [ and she deleted my comment and blocked me ]

v- and tried to pop the filter bubble

c- she FAILED HORRIBLY on that test

07:47 c: Rachel Rossitto you have proven you cannot engage appropriately as a public figure -OR JUST LET IT BE.


c: if you personally don’t want to address the challenging questions and comments? Then let people (your followers / visitors) decide for themselves. Let people talk it out.

THAT is a sign of thriving content

discussions that go beyond the complimentary emojified monotony that IS your Instagram page right now

[ reading RR . com for excluding blurb… can’t find it but I laugh at a part of a testimonial that I glimpse at while scrolling ]


08:06 c- wow. I guess people have to PAY for that from her


08:07 v- that’s a scathing review

c- well, Nepotists, get ready for the BOOM.

v- oh, you would

08:08 c- let’s go pop some paint bubbles … it really is satisfying


C- I’m talking about art / making paint


08:10 c- apologies, technically the term is CRONIES


if it isn’t family


“…appointing ‘cronies’ to positions of authority, regardless of their qualifications.

Cronyism exists when the appointer and the beneficiary such as an appointee are in social or business contact. Often, the appointer needs support in his or her own proposal, job or position of authority, and for this reason the appointer appoints individuals who will not try to weaken his or her proposals, vote against issues, or express views contrary to those of the appointer. 

Politically, "cronyism" is derogatorily used to imply buying and selling favors, such as: votes in legislative bodies, as doing favors to organizations, giving desirable ambassadorships to exotic places, etc. Whereas cronyism refers to partiality to a partner or friend, nepotism is the granting of favour to relatives.“ -Wikipedia


V- that is not nice,

c- as I keep saying: I NEVER want you EVER to be associated with any of my financial endeavors. I am my own woman and DIYer.

[ I earn no money from ]

and happy about it even though it is a hell of a lot of work to go it alone. There is a certain pride in that.

v/ I know there is

c- I will never support you publicly either. Separate entities. You’ve modeled that exceedingly well. I’m just following your cue from years’ worth of lack of presence or contact out there.


08:20 c- I don’t trust you and for good reason

you choose to support someone

v- I barely know

c- after YEARS of working my ass off (for free?) For THIS (connection - whatever it is?)

SHE benefits financially from her association with you?

Uh, that doesn’t go unnoticed in history

08:22 c- I have gotten NOTHING from all of this … and I have to take that into account

I asked for an answer. That’s it.

08:23 c- I make this point occasionally : how would you feel if Rachel cut you off completely?

you text/call/email her.

She doesn’t respond.

you schedule a meet-up.

she never shows.

in what world would ANYONE consider her TRUSTWORTHY?

v- that’s me.

C- I TRIED in so many ways to be APPROACHABLE and courteous and nice …

and was treated like a Nobody .. with this insanely intimate connection that I have years’ worth of data to back my claims up - no time to organize it … but the ( convincing ) evidence is there.

08:27 c- how you have treated me OUT THERE?

NO ONE would want to be associated with you professionally nor personally

YOU BETRAYED my trust over and over again so much that I will NEVER be able to trust you like normal people SHOULD trust each other … if they are good people


C- when people “get” that part of our history? … they’ll understand (my behavior, decisions, extremely opinionated criticisms and how I question your goodness)

08:31 c- they’ll understand … but right now? I’m the batshit lady whose life is in financial ruin … a broken up family .. all because I tried to do the right things BECAUSE OF THIS that won’t go away.

And I am SLAPPED in the face by Rachel Rossitto time and time again…

uh, yes. I will defend myself given my HISTORY and ONGOING INVOLVEMENT with Jason Silva that hasn’t and doesn’t go away and that HE never does anything about to RESOLVE the conflicts between us.

08:33 c- he brought Rachel into this mess

v- now she has to deal with the wrath of C



trying to sleep 

Inner sense: open spring water moist freshness 

02:52 fire antsy soles 

[ kiss projection received ]

continuing to sense coming onto me sense

C- come on. Stop. [ I do NOT want to sense these things 1)I am trying to sleep 2) if this is JS you have a gf - RR - that you may very well be with right at this moment . THAT BOTHERS ME … disturbs my peace ]



04:12 awake

06:07 awake 



remnants from a couple mornings ago


[ painting mini tiles ]

c- if you don’t deal with the shit, you can’t ever let it go

v- InnerNet joke

c- hm-hm

c- ya wanna see what magazine letters I’ve cut out for you both? (Dark humor)

v- no


09:46 v- you’re making me laugh.. now, BE GOOD


Accelerated heart beat

c- I am giving you a choice. Jason Silva can block a comment, or he can leave it up and let people decide for themselves

c- if he blocks an account and deletes the comment, that AGAIN creates a filter bubble and denies his followers from being able to decide FOR THEMSELVES what news/content is RELIABLE/TRUE/ good (for them) …

if he blocks that comment he eliminates the chance for people to start asking QUESTIONS … to LEARN for themselves and to be able to DISTINGUISH between what is TRUE and FALSE news (or something in between)

c- let’s see what he does

09:53 c- my guess? He blocks it. It gets deleted.


c- I am willing to be transparent. Is he?

let’s see if he is willing to be more vulnerable to those difficult questions … for his audience to be … better informed (?)


C- don’t be that book burner in history - no matter the book

let people decide for themselves

if what they find they don’t like?

if it goes against what they want to read?

if it doesn’t pique their interest?


they still have to explore on their own.

they still have to do their own homework.


c- I will keep posting no matter what

v- the truth is out there

c- and you know darn well it does … some day you will have to face it - one day or another

c- if you only control your narrative?

when another side comes out? … and it turns out to be just as valid?



C- people will not trust you (as much)




10:10 first layer of a few tiles from the paint mixing remnants

v- Andean Blue

v- … all proceeds to go to charity

c- [ chuckling ] you are NOT endorsing me

v- you so know where I’m going with that

10:11 c- five years of you in here? IMPRESSIONS … those intuitive knowings

v- yeah, I know … and what you’ve said about R?

c- she can handle it. The fans can handle it. I’m just a batshit paint lady, remember?

v- yeah, I know



C- so, what do you think…?

v- i’m doomed

c- lol… unfortunately…

v- …there’s a data trail. I know.

10:33 v- you haven’t … [ watched Stranger Things 3 ]

c- not yet. Later. Day off from day job as a medical biller where i’m Usually tied to a cubicle ? =

working on Crafty Scribe

v- your business

c- Season 2, baby…

v- and it’s thriving

c- hey, it’s a wee itty bitty small business venture … but, yes, about 4 times the sales from last year

v/ and growing

c- yes, yes, yes… that’s what Wandering Mind is partly for : being mostly transparent about what works and doesn’t (I do keep some trade secrets, as anyone in business would)

v- from the ground up

c- of a one-woman show

v- creative process, though

c- well documented … I have 100s of thousands of digital files, thousands of typed and handwritten notes and logs for five years … to get to the point of selling your craft, so to speak..?

v- I know, it takes a lot

c- even for an itty bitty

v- wee itty bitty

c- oh, yes…. and …

v- and just your life savings

c- shakes her head … you have to have vision, a practical plan … be passionate about what you’re doing … know every aspect of your business well … from the teaspoon of every pigment …

v- haha … stop … kilos of them … show them

c- my inventory / bedroom bookshelf


C- aw… from my eldest. (dad’s week with them) … both my daughters know about WanderingMindSpace. They know about JS + RR and that they are bf + gf.

They know about eZ. (Their grandmother is a published romance novelist …)

They are old enough to understand most of what this is all about.

They gave me permission to include them in the story.




c- omg…

v- I KNOW.

c- geesh, i’m weird

v- haha. I know.


C- my oldest’s latest creation … she is part of my Crafty Scribe vendor’s stand very Saturday. She uses recycled bottle caps to make fridge magnets… It’s my way of encouraging her pursuit of art (she’s got talent & family in art (to support & encourage her) - her uncle went to Cooper Union, helped sculpt the Negro Baseball Hall of Fame statues / exhibit … & her aunt- my sister as well has a career & side projects in art & (web) design)

c- she’s better at the “hands-on” art than I am … i’m more sketchy and get by …

V- include (reminding me)

10:59 c- ah, yes. The infamous show your true colors / character post on Ideapod in reaction to when YAYwho kissed a sketchy girl in Amsterdam ( and I sensed it) in 2015

you know when you’re at the library .. and you sense something strange … hop online later and see a timestamp of a public figure kissing a girl? … that pretty much MATCHES when you sensed something initially without knowing what you were sensing?

oh, the Seethe started four+ years ago … and it has only gotten…

v- better

c- better?!?


my note

[ insert handwritten note that I jotted down while working at a library computer when I first sensed a strange sensation … grabbing it later at 11:43

v- you’ve never posted these before

c- I don’t think so. I cover up the location of the library

v- for privacy concerns, I know

11:44 inserting handwritten log


11:46 c- the printer at home wasn’t working … I was trying to print my typed logs … and each time I printed them

v- you deleted the only electronic file




11:07 c- so, I used a photo I had taken of my oldest’s oil pastel (?) school art project as a header image to this post on Ideapod back on October 10, 2015

checking SM to see if a side channel account was blocked by JS, the comment deleted …

C: ew … ew

(sees time for tranScript)

EW!!! And look what time it is


BLECH . He likes the comment

v- hmHM

C- i’m Going to be nauseous

will you shut off the LIKE ALL COMMENTS function on whatever SM gateway program you are using

v- clearinghouse

c- and actually READ your comments?

v- I have you [you read them, I hear you reading them ]

c- I so don’t like you

V- what did I say?

v- I didn’t block nor delete .. I showed kindness

c- uh, you are Trickster … that like was … INTENTIONALLY FUNNY

V- Maybe


c- i can’t make this shit up

c- that was totally random

(sees time to add to tranScript)


WTF… that was too

v- you’re caught in a wormhole 🎶


c- and you know today is DAY 1870

V- adds up to 16, I know … I heard you

[ read “Interference”]

11:18 subtle quick left deaf ear


11:20 c- Seshat came out years ago …

v- the goddess of scribes

c- Egyptian (goddess) … amongst other things (of measuring, too)

C: I created that side channel …

v- as another way to tell the story … i know

c- hierographically .. it also serves a dual purpose for Crafty Scribe…

v- as an example

c- just a placeholder for now

v- more art to come, I know


uploaded handwritten note

11:48 c- I transferred the electronic copy to Evernote, from which I accessed that to pull up in the library PC

V- which you hated

c- I was/am paranoid about this data

v- it’s yours, I know

c- then, I deleted that electronic file, too. I realize that perhaps it may still exist in Evernote servers , but that was years ago… like a computer’s hard drive? When you delete a file

v- it doesn’t Get rewritten for a while …

c- fragments of it still might exist … I know computers… somewhat how the cloud works (and how servers work)

v- how data is stored

C- and backed up


c- there is a history

v- a long one

c- years’ worth of me sensing things … and discovering they correspond …

v- to Jason Silva’s life

c- what he shares of it, at least, I can somewhat prove

v- there’s a lot going on offline

c- and THE ONLY WAY I would be sensing something at a certain time? There is only ONE REASON I would know when JS May be doing XYZ

V- because you sense it

c- he doesn’t have to share - I KNOW when he’s outdoors.

i KNOW when he gets high

(the ET effect ..)

v- Spielberg LOVES this

c- oh, anyone who has created or researched this?

v- a gold mine

c- oh, I know how much my research and documentation , etc may be worth

v- all to charity

c- of my choosing … and research endeavors

v- of your choosing

c- you see that Licensing in the footer ?

v- it’s yours

c- and the world’s … I am publishing (for free / non-profit) … have been FOR YEARS about my experiences …

v- it’s been really hard

c- try not earning what you should be (with other paying jobs) because you have to devote time to THIS,l… because you experience all this shit and document because you KNOW there is something to this …

11:56 c- it’s hell when your prime suspect(s)

v- ignore you

C- when you’ve made cordial attempts to reach out

c- you get to a point when you have to try a little bit of everything … when the NICE and PRIVATE approaches don’t work

when you only have so many resources… only so much time … given your life variables …

11:57 c- when a public figure could at any moment show up, spend FIVE SECONDS to confirm or deny … and he chooses to resort hop around the world with a woman he just met at BM …

it leaves an incredibly bad impression on the woman who has had to endure FOUR+ YEARS of this type of connection … who has accumulated file cabinets and Hard drives full of data

c- and he does NOTHING to give that long-term commitment the time of his day … in the normal sense

v- but I’m here all the time

c- yet to be confirmed by said suspect in any normal way (serious monotone)



c- I need to get back to paint mixing …

v- the pigments and paints … I want to see your work this week

c- so, if I am not too tired from work, at night I mix a batch of watercolors ( a hot seller )… or I get up extra early and mix a color … usually it’s a color a day … they take at least a week to dry … and ideally more time so I could double or triple pour to top off the pans (the liquid evaporates over time and the paint shrinks into the pans … still perfectly good paint, but it looks like the paint pans aren’t full … when I sell them they are … v- haha stop 12:08 c- time is a huge factor v- money, too, I know )


C- I put some into sets, others I just leave on trays ..

v- choose your own color adventure … I know


c- from the bottom up: Andean Blue (my favorite), orange, Mayan red ( some topping off for that pan of older drier pans), wine, turquoise, copper, bronze

c- my watercolor line up today is

making Andean Blue dollops,

metallic pink (a new color)

v- I want to see …


12:16 c: my sparkly pigments are my own creations… hee hee hee..

v- stop


V- you’re so goin’ down

c- oh, DIYers: I found some chemical composition Safety Data Sheets .. on branded pigments …

v- oh, you are wrong ..

c- what? I still had to come up with my own recipe and test out the colors

v- yes, you did

12:18 c- it’s scary how expensive those branded pigments are (compared to base materials cost)

v- oh, I know …

c- Pigment Peddler Extraordinaire

C- and I can come up with my own custom colors … AND I have a better metallic blue

v- omg, I know you do

c- hee hee hee .. .. I call the other metallic branded blue .. Phallic (a play on words … their pigment has pthalo cyanic ingredients … which is not like primary blue but cyan… all of their Metallics are like that - I tested them )

v- appearances are deceiving


this is my perty sparkly blue (pan needs to be filled - you can see how much evaporated in a few weeks - it was only half full to begin with - I sold out of all the other pans I had made)


V- when did you pour that?


V- all nontoxic

c- yes… depends on how you look at it

In addition to the micas (again, too much of any particulate if in dry form isn’t good )… there’s gum arabic I make in my studio, honey from a local farmer, and 100% thyme essential oil for a natural preservative … the blue pigment made out of certain type of clay, baked to a high temp to turn this blue … similar to the new blue —- what is it?

yin … something or other …


12:30 c- I researched it for its chemical composition (I try to avoid heavy metals …)


c- the blue I use is synthetic ultramarine

v- chemical composition, please…

c- it has sulphur in it..

v- noxy

c- yes …


C: I was reminding myself what the letters were

Si is silicate…

c- OF COURSE sulphur is the atomic number 16

v- Noxy, you are wyrd

C- when mixed in liquid medium it does smell like sulphur … just like lapis lazuli whose chemical composition is :

NOT AN ENDORSEMENT (nor do I purchase from this vendor - too pricey in my opinion … - but a nice description)

NOT AN ENDORSEMENT (nor do I purchase from this vendor - too pricey in my opinion … - but a nice description)

C- during my testing phase I did purchase a few pigments from Natural Pigments …

v- but they do not

c- not part of the pigments/paints I create (materials I use in my product line), no


C- the blue was more indigo than I wanted

the lamp black I didn’t go with because of research about lamp black (possibly too many chemicals of unknown origin… and not as earth-based as I had wanted)

C- I started making my own black pigment, but that is really labor intensive …

v- blackened pine

c- so, I opted for an earth black … which, yes, has carbon in it (and if inhaled is not good … but in paint, etc ? Ok and not toxic … everything in moderation as far as exposure … just like everything )

sit by a campfire…

v- the smoke is toxic

c- your kids play in the sand

v- it has silicon … you’re so funny


c- talk about how much sand, dirt and dust we all were exposed to as kids (and beyond)

if not exposed too much?

v- it’s fine

c- much better than heavier metals found in some pigments/paints

be wary of any label that DOES NOT list the chemical composition of your paints/pigments

just because it says non-toxic

v- Doesn’t mean that it (really) is

c- … the safer option [ “standards” may be lower than the general consumer is aware of ]

12:55 c- take a look at cheap paint sets…

like a food label, does it list ingredients?

v- no

c- I have looked for years … and brands DO NOT list the chemical composition or even standard name of the pigments used in their “non-toxic” paints …



Heavy metals to avoid:

copper, cobalt, cadmium, lead


c- a few of the pigments I use have a small quantity of copper (low toxicity) …

v- it’s the amount that matters

c- as with anything

c- touch a copper penny …

v- haha stop

c- use copper measuring spoons or drink from a kentucky mule copper mug…

v- it has ( more ) copper

c- … than my pigments

12:59 c- exposure levels are important … I disclose this to my customers … one was wondering because she used the sparkly pigments around her toddlers

c- I asked her do they play in sand and dirt.

V- haha . Stop

c- as long as you don’t have the pigments blowing in their faces for hours on end

v- temporary exposure …

c- there is so much ELSE that is toxic …

v- that this is something minor

c- and I really do try to find the lowest to non- toxic pigments / ingredients …

13:01 c- but some colors just have them in them (small percentage of the make-up of the entire pigment)

13:03 PIGMENTS ARE IN EVERYTHING. There. I’m done talking about boring pigments.



13:26 c- a work in progress (putting together sets, adding final touches…) trying to make it all more “presentable”


C- before I can even put sets together

v- you have to make the paints …

c- the sheer number of colors needed … and what limited time I have … and how they sell out each week ..


c- before the dollop … prepwork using bulk sheets of watercolor paper - cut to size


13:32 (and I need to paint the chalkboard frame…)

C- what color?

v- green

c- I think it will stand out… IDK… since it is already smudged with what I call Hulk green

v- you say that to the kids all the time

c- at my craft table, yes I do



13:37 c- last Saturday was 4th of July-themed

13:52 c- even when I try to cut corners (and have a tool to make it go faster and cleaner), I STILL have to use scissors to round ‘em out



on couch for a couple minutes

with my other edge rounder this happened, too (upper left one cut fine, the others have imperfections that need rounding) … DIY woes

[ subtle blood coursing sense - around “heart center” … a sign someone - who I am connected to - is on the move or more active somewhere ]


about to make some lunch

v- and what’s for lunch ?

c- something bland … (steaming rice) … caught some bug this last week -suspected water cooler contamination … another work colleague had the same health issue yesterday… and we both used the water cooler … it could be anything … a bug picked up on some surface… but who knows

14:11 c- why share all this?

c- each piece leads to a more polished final product … dollops are samples of the watercolors… but my plan for them is two-fold … some may know where I am leading with this (some don’t care)

14:12 v- most don’t care

c- how’s Cameo?

v- will you stop


c- let’s look I to that “deep dark pool” [ reference : the poem “sœwn” ]


the paint remnants from my last batch of Andean Blue watercolor only provided one coat. This next batch will provide at least one more layer of paint. The tiles will have a deeper blue when they are finished.


the miniature tiles are part of an ongoing project

v- waste not, want not

c- I try not to waste any Andean Blue (South American lapis lazuli) … and use it for art that will last


14:27 c: retail, this amount of LL runs about $45. I bought in bulk and during a sale period to bring my base cost down. I’m not disclosing my base cost, but it helps provide my customers a more affordable way to purchase this pigment/watercolors/LL art.

Initially I sampled two types of LL - one sourced from Afghanistan and the other from South America (within a certain price range - there are different grades/qualities). Both tested pretty much the same. Andean Blue won out - it was more affordable and the S&H wasn’t exhorbitant from the vendor I went with …

top tier LL (Fra Angelico) runs about $400+ for the quantity you see here … it is sourced from the bluest of blue rocks and requires more “filtering” out of impurities [ check out Master Pigments for a nice description of the process about what all goes into making the pigment - not an endorsement, but this pigment craftsman has very nice descriptions and also does have terrific service and quality - I bought vivianite from this vendor to test against other blue ochres ].

The quality of my Andean Blue is mid- to higher grade (not the highest, although I wouldn’t know how it compares because I didn’t spend the money on top tier) … it still provides a beautiful deep blue color, as you can see in the finalized painted tiles.


c- based on my testing of Andean Blue, I believe it is a step down from Fra Angelico.


late lunch… watching E01S03 Stranger Things

c- of COURSE I’m going to check… i’m numerically challenged JUNE 28, 2014 (i was 11 in 1984…)

v- damn, woman

c- PAGE 73 of the original journal


15:42 c- and, yes, people. Page 37 is the goddess page (I was born April 26, 1973…)

15:43 v- I want to see the other half

c- lol… nope.

V- something happened on the other half

c- let people fill in the blanks of why a man would call me “goddess”

v- damn, woman


15:44 c- i’m Laughing my ass off as I quickly read the plot blurb for this episode (the Russians are coming! The Russians are coming! … inside joke - many layers to it)

I see these people walking around in HazMat suits and gas masks …

i read this page from my journal (half of it) … and there is a section about toxic work environment … classic randomness.

v- oh?

15:46 c- now, I watch without interruption.

no stopping. Just all the way through to the end of the episode

v- eat




key words for impressions after S03E01

c- movie theater scene, Djinnish scene, pool scene

c- I love Hopper & the difficulties a parent may have when their child starts dating …




yellow ochre




terre verte



BACKTRACK TO 03 July 2019

what does the AHB MEAN?

C- are you with her?

12:34 v- no

C- are you JS?

V- affirmative 

12:37 c- JS hasn’t posted anything recently about where he is 


V- it’s not sex, ok?

C- there is no explanation or proof

V- no, there isn’t 

C - I am traumatized by experiences like the one this AM at 4amish

V- i know you are


12:38 c- can she prove that she’s not with you ?

V- no. How do you like them apples? 

I’m sorry ... that’s not a good joke 

I am NOT with her 

This is not admissible in a court of law 

C- [ like heck it won’t be ]



17:47 home 

[ kiss ] 

C- will you stop 

getting out of car

V- I am not with her 

17:52 CG tries to access RIGsr (32 min ago) [ IG down ]

two men’s voices talking in the background 

If it is JS 

1) I can prove the voice lied

2) whatever I sensed this AM then can added to the rape case file

ongoing moist soft sense 

18:21 SAHB 


V- I am not there. Put that down

[ kiss ]

C- who is this?


C- you know why I think you are with R?

The instantaneous extreme AHB earlier today ... 

If you were right next to her? She would have shown you at the time what was happening 

V- and I was in here with you

18:25 c- I’m waiting to show that the Voice who identifies itself as Jason Silva LIES

it has consistently denied being with RR 

since her post at the airport 

Through today 

“Absolutely not I’m not in the same physical space as RR”

18:27 c: note to self 

You know what these lapses in no JS posts mean to me?

They mean to me that he is HIDING where he is 

Not sharing who he is with 

If the voice is JS?

If the voice LIED to me about being nowhere near RR?

then not only was I lied to

But something was being covered up

Possible sexual or sensual activity 


Definitive RAPE

V- deception ... I’m not with her, ok?

C- I SENSE ...

V- an outdoor sense, I know 

Because if I can prove beyond a reasonable doubt that REPEATEDLY I was affected NEGATIVELY by a CONFIRMED connection some day?

ALL these timestamped moments? 

Where I suffered while you were with other women and RAPING ME?

If they KNEW about me? Like RR does ?

That gives me CAUSE to prosecute to the fullest extent of the law (BOTH of you because you BOTH knew and did nothing to prevent a rape from happening)


V- I’m sorry. I’m sorry you sensed that. I’ll explain some day what that was

In no way was it sexual, ok?

18:32 c- I logged it AT THE TIME this morning

There is no way in hell I would do that normally unless something happened

I would have had NO WAY of knowing Jason Silva was with Rachel Rossitto - there were no posts by Jason. There were no posts by Rachel.

Her post(s) are TIMESTAMPED and that video has metadata (if she keeps it) 

18:34 c- I am keeping this offline because 

V- because you want to trap her 

C- I do not want to prevent her from posting something she wants to post ... 

c- she 

V- I have not ...

C- I know you have not let her know (about all my avatars) ... I know you have mostly let her make her own decisions 


She needs to make her own mistakes and wrong judgment calls ... to show the world how she cannot handle delicate situations like this

V- and you?

C- I have an extreme case 

I get a get out of jail free card, don’t you know? (Being sarcastic)

I have a power that in the end? Based on my circumstances ? They will be taken into consideration 

18:37 she does not have that luxury 

YOU have that luxury (if you are quantum entangled with me)

SHE does not. 

Like any free unbonded human?

She should live her life with choices WE do not have 

SHE was notified about her effect on me

She can stop

YOU cannot control how you feel around fans, etc

I can accept that

INTIMATE CONTACT? I DO NOT CONSENT TO because of the extreme nature of the trauma as a human on the other end who is being forced into another couple’s intimate relationship

THAT is different 


V- fuckin’ a ... I know 

VIDEO RECORDING of Rachel Rossitto’s IGsr

as I record (I hear men’s voices in the background and a child’s ... an older man’s voice, but another younger man’s voice?)

sense: more extreme ahb / nervous jittery AHB

V- omg she’s recording everything 

[ I have two phones : one to play the video … one to record IG stories - I have been doing this since Jason & Rachel have started doing IG stories - ephemeral content turned ARCHIVAL EVIDENCE SINCE IT WAS POSTED PUBLICLY - TIMESTAMPED ]


V- I know how bad it is (R)

C- (thinking about early this AM) you should not be sleeping in the same bed with her 

18:50 SMNN (Social media nothing new)

18:51 c- THIS IS DIFFERENT ... I am in that bed with you ... I DO NOT CONSENT TO HER BEING IN BED WITH ME 



V- (upset slightly SSSTNM hysterical) I know I know I know I know ...



changing out of work clothes into more comfortable clothes 

c- there is a serious lack of respect 

Lack of reliability 

Lack Of trust 

lack of faithfulness 

Lack of everything  that a good relationship should have 

If you can’t take care of me?

I do NOT want to be connected to you 

18:56 v- I promise I’m not with her

[ kiss ]

grabbing pillows (to put on couch and relax after work)

C- is this JS?

V- yes 

V- fucking a calm down

18:58 still raining 

It is going to be VERY wet out there (on lawns) if this stops (in time) for fireworks


C: (sees an unrelated IG post) There’s a view products pop up (on IG)

calmer ... still fresh smooth airy spring water sense like soft open air in my mouth 


[ kiss ] 

C- don’t do that ... if you’re with R (in that video) I’m really going to wig out

at rest, on couch working on CS spreadsheet 

19:15 subtle soft liquid blood coursing 

19:19 recording RIGsr (57 min ago)

child’s voice asking a question 

Man’s “hm” in background 

Child keeps asking a question 

Man does not answer [ impression? Suspicion ? Someone trying not to say anything so as to reveal their identity ]

[ unable to tell if young or older man’s voice ]

Slight increase of SAHB

19:23 [ kiss ]

C- stop kissing me. 

If JS is with RR’s family 



C- I do NOT want an inner presence kissing 

19:24 (cupping breasts )

C- nice . So inappropriate 

V- I am NOT with her 

C- and you are JS

V- YES... I will prove it to you,.. like I said

C- the voice said it’d come out before, too, and it never did

The whole cinema is poetry video came out 

But not JS LIVEish somewhere ... 

that video could have been recorded months ago ... and probably was the last time JS was at where that is


19:37 moist cool fresh air in nostrils back of throat 

19:41 SAHB

V- I am not with her

C- I don’t believe you

[ kiss ]

V- fuck, I know

lying on couch,

Relaxing ... feeling OOK (from diarrhea earlier today - suspected contaminated water from work water cooler )

I feel like I’m in the middle of a layer of moist water 


20:00 SMNN



subtle SAHB

20:18 [ kiss ]

C- stop doing that 

V- sorry (quickly said)




20:32 SAHB



I hear fireworks 


Feeling the ook (still gastrointestinal lingering ook)