DAY 1856

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[ mixing primary yellow & listening to 80s music ]

07:03 opening post

07:04 posting

07:06 back at pouring half pans

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C: of course… I swear there’s a conspiracy in my random shuffles

Teenage me with too rosey cheeks pigtails … in a striped blue and white onesie…

v- lord, stop

c- that was a fun video to make

07:10 the stuffed animals were

[ pouring yellow ]

c- if you have dementia, I don’t want it [ inside joke ]

v- thanks, c

07:18

c: SPELLING MATTERS

v- damn, you’re wrong

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V- jealous?

c- uh, no. Like I’ve veen saying: she can have you, but get the f___out of my bodymind

07:22

c/ if you affect me while you’re with her? It’s rape.

these are the consequences of your choice not to talk to me like s decent human being.

these are the consequences of HER choice if being a hypocrite to everything she stands for

& being a part of raping me.

07:24 c- this doesn’t go away for good reason

wgat you are doing is WRONG and until you make things right?

v- yog’re going to keep blasting ne

c- and shouting out to the masses of the future : that what you both are doing IS WRONG.

07:25

c- I don’t care how many people think you both are good people …. THIS MAKES A DIFFERENCE… and once people have THIS lens? They are going to question you(r)

v- ethics…

07:27 c: I DO NOT CONSENT TO ANY OVERLAYING OF EXPERIENCES WITH RACHEL ROSSITTO. Clear enough, Jason Silva?

07:29 c: you don’t talk to me / approach me like a normal person for FIVE YEARS (with this InnerNet experience going on), and you expect me to accept you & your life as is? Sorry, but no.

07:31 c- you drag me along and you keep forgetting IT’S MY LIFE YOU’RE AFFECTING

07:32 c- so, no, I am not jealous

v- you want your life back

07:32

——

13:40 lunch

13:52 c: here. Although you’re probably stocked up already, Quotidian.

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(Lol & sense lol)

v- you’re so mean!

13:54 c: i’ve Been saving that one for a few days… my children may understand a bit more why I take seemingly random photos.

C- they know about eZ … my oldest and I had a nice chat. My youngest had already TMI, and had left to take Ziggy for a walk.

c- the context was this: she knows her grandmother was a romance novelist. I told her anyone could read most of the poems, look at the art and hear the notes and not have a clue ..

v/ that they’re sex related.

c- I told both that I had an adult content site, but that there weren’t any nude images, etc… although the content can get explicit (Livestream)… I wanted them to be aware that there is a link from WMS.

v- thank you

13:58

v- they asked but I did not say who that guy in the photos was… these are the details they know:

he’s associated with National Geographic

he has connections with the film and tv industry …

he’s from Venezuela

v- aw…

14:00 c: if they really wanted to know… they could find JS.

v: thank you…

c: I mentioned that JS has a gf

that the character Trickster / V was inspired by the real-life JS. That we rubbed digital shoulders / were members on the same social media platform … I showed L & E two images

the Anachronisms “jupiter/Saturn” filtered image (from Old Man’s Cave) & the reedy channel

v- side by side

c/ it’s so difficult to find a starting point

v/ and you’d oldest read…

c- Startled Jump , Frostbite, catapult … I think that’s It.

Again, I framed it as creative adjacencies

reality bending

creatives create alike

it May be something

v- or nothing at all

14:05

—-

c- I don’t want to feel you at all

all day today I asked my to be overlayed

ALL DAY. IN THE PAST. IN THE FUTURE.

i do NOT want to sense any of that.

it us revolting. Disgusting. It is an utter betrayal of who I am as a human being.

do you both understand what this is I’m this situation?

i hope you do.

You may see it as good.

some day you may understand how hurtful it is.

YOU TALK TO THE PERSON MOST INTIMATELY CONNECTED TO YOU FIRST.

C- I DO NOT WANT TO FEEL ANYTHING LIKE THIS.

WHENEVER IT HAPPENED.

it doesn’t matter WHEN.

I DO NOT CONSENT.

I HAVE NEVER CONSENTED

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21:27 c: some day this will come to light.

some day people will understand my perspective and tortured experience.

what I sense and never wanted to.

21:37

c- until that time?

I hope both of you understand what type of human beings you both are in this situation.

NOT GOOD ONES.

21:38

c- you believe in the cacophony of your ego chambers for now.

Just remember, some day you will be seen in a different light.

he light MY story will shine on you.

AND YOU WILL NOT BE THE PERFECT COUPLE.

you will be two people WHO CHISE to torture another human being.

21:40 c- THAT is what is happening.

whatevrt THAT is?

Doesn’t matter.

you know where I am right now.

yoy choose not to come forward and make my life easier by letting me know what he he’ll is going on.

that is a choice YOU made.

you made THAT choice instead of doing the right and decent human thing to do.

YOUR CHOICE.

21:42 c- I could just as easily do what you show the world you are doing.

i could easily do a lot more AND YOU WOULD FEEL IT.

now, I ask you again, in FIVE YEARS have I EVER done that to you?

v- never

C- I want the world to know what I sacrificed FOR THIS. To do the right thing.

some day that will come to light.

some day you will have to answer that difficult question.

WHY did you just not just do the simple, decent thing?

21:43

c- when you are together?

whatever proof there is?

will be subpoenaed.

21:44 c- I NEVER want this to happen to anyone else.

it’s bad enough for me for this long

with an ASSHOLE who thinks this is the right thing to do?

good my f—-ing ass

TWO f—-ed up individuals who think THAT is the right thing to do in this situation.

21:46 c- it is NOT going to stop because IT IS NOT RIGHT.

21:46 c- just keep lying to the world. To whoever believes in that shit.

21:46 c- unbelieveably cruel.

21:47

c- I DON’T WANT TO FEEL YOU TWO TOGETHER.

it doesn’t matter when you are together.

I HAVE NEVER AGREED TO THIS.

I DO NOT WANT TO SENSE ANY OF THAT.

21:49

—-

c- my experiences are turned into nightmares

c- it NAUSEATES me to realize two people can be this sadistic.

21:57 c- KNOWING that I sense things.

KNOWING that the connection is real and they choose to ignore my welfare

21:58 c- in favor of THEIR lives and choices

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22:04 c- I do not want to sense anything

v:___

c- … it’s a nightmare. I feel raped. Anytime I sense anything. Anything these past few days that I sensed I feel raped. Any projections? I have to question everything. It’s an awful existence.

i have no choice in this.

do the right thing.

You always have the chance to do the right thing.

To date? You have NOT done the right thing.

22:06