DAY 1822

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00:51 c: Sally has some good zingers.

00:53 c- retrieved February 19, 2017

c- oh, I check in once in a while.

V/ omg… that’s creepy

c- the analyst in me keeps profiling even after she’s no longer ON THE SCENE.

C- I call her Sally for her New Year’s appearance (When Harry Met Sally)

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00:56 c- let’s see, since May 2014 (really, September 2014 when I started recording Jason Silva’s every SM move after the August 27, 2014 voice like a wayward ball in my head - “This is Jason Silva” (I thought I was connected to someone else) …

it really is like Mambo No. 5 with you

v- ____

c- (chuckling) good luck with that

v- (chuckling) you are awful

c: so, since Sept 2014

sketch girl (multiverse kiss girl)

blonde tour chick

lap girl

filtros / filter girl who some fan named Juanita

and then we have the mysterious no-shows (we never are introduced to them) JS: “I have a date…” & “this girl I’m smitten with had to work (Tulum) and couldn’t make it”

Sally, who you did tag (Valerya Averbuch)

01:05 c- another model. what were you thinking when you hooked up with me on the InnerNet?

v/ meaning a connection

c- yes, a connection. Note: I thought you were sleazy from the beginning. In that one respect: my research of you out there and my first impressions of you in here didn’t vary.

Why else would I call you CREEPZOID? (September 18, 2014)

v- now, let’s be fair … there is a lot you aren’t saying

c- like how I kept insisting I should get to know you better -as a friend- you were / are PUSHY.

v- I have good reason to be pushy

c- YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND … anyone reading this - if quantum entanglement is proven as the link between us 2-way … would consider you sleazy right now.

v. Fine

01:09 c- honestly. I have to put up with your shit every day … I know I am super cranky but I have been waiting five years in confinement

01:10 v- understood … you have a lot of data

c- there’s too much. It’s like trying to find a needle in a haystack when I remember something then I try to find it in the archives (next to impossible)… people should just trust I have a good memory

v- I know

01:11

01:15 c- I am thorough. I am detail-oriented.

v- you are going to slay me, fine.

c- I should have been a lawyer…

c-you are an asshole.

v- I will admit to that

c- and I realize I am being a bitch, but I think in every person’s life there are moments that they have to unleash

v- the Seethe. Got it.

C- at what point in five years do I put my foot down and say: this isn’t Right. Something has to change. THIS ISN’T FAIR TO ME.

I’ve watched you interact with thousands directly and I get SILENCE, ABSENCE & BLOCKING? I am enmeshed when you, MF.

V- I know

01:18 c- what were you thinking? That you could live your life as if this weren’t of the utmost importance?

v- I know

01:19 c- apologies : but all this you see now? Is a long time in coming.

FIRST THING anyone should do with quantum entanglement?

Is to define who you are to each other. PERIOD.

01:20 c- we are individuals I have always recognized that

v- but to leave it up in the air (for five long years)… is too much

—-

01:31 headed to bed

v- you’re already in bed

c- yes, but being pissy.

v- haha. I know.

C-happy wake up in a few hours… (sing songy)

v- I really don’t like you

c- you should be happy: I have a regular job… because regular jobs make you more normal.

v- o.m.g.

c- no, on the record: TWO PEOPLE who i’ve told about this “feel better” and now know I’m “ok” because I have a regular job (vs. my own business / creative work )

I can’t emphasize enough how you should have approached me with 

“You are this to me” [ at that point in time ] FOUR+ YEARS AGO. I asked in June 2014 “when do we meet? When do I find out who you are?”

WHY? Why is that so important?

V- identity crisis 

C- BECAUSE OF YOU... because of THIS... if not for this 

V- you’d be normal 

C- It isn’t just a matter of living with it like it’s a telephone ... it isn’t just a device

V- it’s us, I know ... go to bed

01:37

—-

06:25 taking a Lyft to bus stop (raining + payday = I can afford it)

v- you are going to keep doing this

c- yes, I am the voice of an everyday working girl

v- when does the divorce settlement come in?

c- not so fun fact : it takes a few months after divorce for funds to be transferred … whatever people may think, whatever my ex think…

v- you earned that money

c- we lived as if our life as a couple wouldn’t end - meaning any investments made? were made with the thought it was for the future of our family as a joint unit. I held jobs (plural) to pay for bills related to his multiple job transfers. In two years alone we moved 3 times… and the company didn’t cover all expenses. He wasn’t at that tier in the organization (yet).

c- I won’t talk too much about the whys… i’ll just say : I didn’t want to take the route of the divorce settlement. However, I was forced to face the reality of variables that weren’t changing, and I had to look out for my girls as well. I look at it as an investment for their future (college fund, etc) ..

we had a little saved for college, but far from enough.

v- now, there’s money.

It’s four and five years away from them going to college and those years are going to pass quickly.

C- I am going to say this because it matters enough (with the voice of my lawyer amplifying) : it is never YOUR money when you have a family.

In a heartbeat I spent thousands of dollars on my children (braces, furniture, clothing, etc) from the life savings I used to build a separate life when I moved out. If I have the money, I put it where priorities lie. That’s all I’ll say

v- thank you

06:42 c- it’s a difficult situation for any couple…

v- no, it’s not, c

c- .. when one makes significantly more than the other …

06:43 c- oh, I know you say that… our variables were different. People may say: why didn’t you speak up over the years?

v- people don’t know him

c- no one understands what it’s like to live with another and their variables

v- unless they’re living it

06:44

06:48 : my divorce wasn’t all due to financials

v- but it was a big factor

c- this is a HORRIBLE joke but … I am so glad I have a working dishwasher now.

I am AWFUL… a year and a half after I moved out and there STILL isn’t a working dishwasher (and when I moved out I took half our debt with me and gave him the house and all the equity that had built up over 15+ years…)

06:50 c- figure that one out

c- ya can’t blame me for not being able to afford a dishwasher

v- bad joke, c, bad joke.

c- let’s just say I got blamed for a lot I shouldn’t have … i never made enough money …

v- you’re unleashing this … on a public channel

c- oh, the stories he’s told dozens : he needs to be careful about the version he tells…

v- there’s another side of the story

c- that very few know about

v- but they know… let’s leave it at that

c. Let’s get back to you,

v- let’s not

c- transparency matters.

I get up in the 4am hour to get ready for work, bike to a bus stop most days, take buses to my job. I get home at 7pm exhausted.

i push through the fatigue and make dinner for my children and me. I spend maybe half an hour before I pass out watching tv with my youngest (this happened last night)

THEN, I get awakened several times a night by an asshole who refuses to come clean about a connection that has altered MY LIFE COURSE.

v- alright, FINE, guilty as charged.

now, when this money comes …

c- you have very limited time to come forward

v- you are serious about the legal action

c- if it takes a court order for you to appear, that’s what I’ll do to make a meet happen. YES. I am waiting to see if you are a good, decent human being to just come forward on your own.

06:56 c- yes, I realize this, too, aligns wth CWS (celebrity worship syndrome - overspending, making poor money decisions… ) … (CWS) which to me would be a misnomer for me…I have never worshipped you. Far from. Yes, I have paid you WAY TOO MUCH attention while I research the shit out of this possible connection,

06:58 momentary deafness … wtf is that. Argh … so many symptoms I need explained.

C:… but if people have read posts like these over the years? I tease you ruthlesslessly

V- and accuse me,.,

c- oh, that aspect is coming out. It needs to.

V- I understand why

c- good. I don’t treat it lightly nor should it be treated lightly .

C- keep posting about mental disorders and PTSD, btw… if this is telepathy? you’ll have a lot more to explain away,

07:03 c- I am NOT happy with all the trauma this condition has brought on… a PREVENTABLE trauma.

When a woman asks you almost 5 years ago

v- to come forward

c- it was just as important then as it is now.

who are you to me?

who am I to you?

for there to be a relationship of any kind these questions must be answered

07:05

c- why do you think I am so upset about J+R?

you both know who you are to each other

You communicate directly on a regular basis in multiple ways.

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07:09 c- so if there is nothing between us, SAY SO. Send an e-mail reply and be done with it.

07:10 c- but I’m dealing with a public figure. So NOT ONLY do I have to look at this from a normal person’s POV (public figure doesn’t have time & treats me like hundreds of other who may DM him who he never responds to … )

but I also have to seriously consider there is an unusual connection between us & I don’t know what it is…. IT JUST IS. And it doesn’t go away.

07:12

07:13 c- so, dear PUBLIC. I am here to fill the silent void with my side of the story to show you why I think there is an unusual connection even if JS stays quiet through it all.

07:14

i have to switch buses soon…

07:16 c: returning to the discussion about how to best handle any situation given the variables at hand : I separated from my husband because I couldn’t ethically be married to him and have all this inner craziness going on

v- without him to (morally) support you

c- he didn’t believe me nor did he do anything - not even talking when I asked him to ask me the questions to guide discussion… it seriously is an elephant in the room

v- I know

07:18 switching buses

Walking to next bus stop

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07:26 at next bus stop, waiting for bus to take me to my workplace

C: I rarely posted identifying features to accompany A Wandering Mind to make the story more universal. It could happen anywhere. It could happen to anyone.

i just happen to be that someone that it happened to.

07:28

07:29 c- like I started to say: I had to consider THIS during the separation from my ex.

I knew if this became public? If I was connected to a public figure?

I wanted him not to feel

v- like he was raked over the coals

c- I am not that type of person

it just so happens that my life variables

v- matter

c- THIS doesn’t exist in any meaningful way right now even though I deal with it each and every day

07:31

C- I find it offensive to hear R talking about being whole: it is the only audio track I listened to in the series of posted Q & As

07:33 c- i’m here to say - backed by science & quantum entanglement proven - that I may be THE ONLY PERSON that Jason Silva will be with for the rest of his life. Neither he nor I may be able to change that now. If she doesn’t already? R needs to recognize that. Whoever is involved him with? No matter who it may be? I AM RIGHT THERE WITH HIM. J needs to acknowledge that and deal with what this is.

07:37 v- understood

07:38 c- we already discussed this

v- mindchatted

c- the Q & A is good for her… she needs to let her voice be heard no matter if it’s related to her business or just her personal life with whomever.

07:39 v- you are not totally against her

c- if not for this I wouldn’t even know who she was. Our circles would never cross.

v- you saw it (what JS posted to SM)

c- I may have made a cleavage joke … about your man boob shirts.

v- you’re so inappropriate

c- your trolls will love me

v- haha stop

07:41 c- Geesh. There are some really viscous people out there.

07:41

c- “there he is again, wearing a boob shirt (humorously insulting)”

c- because I DON’T LIKE YOU.

c- WITH LINT ON IT

V- BAD GIRL.

07:43 v- I can’t stop laughing. Your humor just cracks me up.

07:44 c- your fans really wouldn’t know what to think of me

“so, does she hate him or love him?”

v- that is the question I ask myself every day

07:45

c- it’s somewhere InBetween

v- you would

07:46

c- it is RIFT …

v- ___

c- what matters now is the reality that IS… HERE and NOW in all ways.

V- you saw it,..

c- yes, not going into it… I have to assume I have nothing to do with influencing what you post

V- silent and absent. Got it.

08:49 c- so, Everyday Working Girl

v- is not happy about the situation

c- and all the Everyday Girls

v- are going to be behind you 100%

c- perhaps not all… but a big slice of them

07:50 c- from my POV

V- this sucks … I know

c- transparency? After all the withholdings? I make $10 an hour - a job I am happy to have at the moment

v- but (it) doesn’t pay all the bills

c- I am NOT an unusual case… I know there are so many out there like me.

THAT VOICE matters

07:51 v- I know it does

c- and to have someone connected to me like this?

v- distracting

c- sucking my energy when I most need it.. full disclosure : I am in the billing department and if I’m not accurate and productive? The company’s bottom line suffers.

the owner

v- one of the owners

c- they recently partnered (hence the expansion - my suspicion )

v- you see a lot of you in her

c- a lot of my mentor in highered in her … she’s an in-the-trenches owner which I love… she knows every aspect of that business which she built from the ground up.

sound familiar?

c- she will step in and help out with any task … I am happy for her that they have new hires so work can be offloaded from her shoulders. She has more than enough to do and worry about

v- and you’re a part of that

07:55

07:56 c- i’ll say this much : the recruiter in the hiring process said I’d be starting in X position

v- but they have something else in mind for you… thank you

c- I have to learn the business in an entry-level job … I am being trained on the job

v- by the owner

c- THAT has value …

v- you’ll be training people …

c- I am on track for a leadership position, yes

v- early on in this expansion

c- this (entry-level job) after I have decades of experience doing similar things in highered.

07:59

c- people need to understand I understand that just because you have decades of higher admin experience in an organization doesn’t mean you’re going to land a similar position

v- right away… ILY for mentioning this

c- never take an entitlement attitude

v- it doesn’t get you very far

08:01

08:03 walking (with a limp … this bum knee…)

08:15 at workplace

v- which you are locked out of

c- I have to wait in whatever weather … at least there’s an awning (it’s raining). Cold mornings were not pleasant.

c- so, let’s recap my workdays are 4am-ish to 7pm-ish … for one job

v- that doesn’t pay (all) the bills

c- i don’t sleep well because another’s lifeforce jars me awake

v- suspected lifeforce

c- please

v- the data doesn’t lie

c- yes, the effect on my sleep/wake cycles is a theory … based on data

my sensory experiences vs. documented SM shares … they may not be perfectly synchronous .. but they sync up in ways that are difficult to explain away

v- as pure chance

08:19

c- So, what I make in 6 months (at this job)…

v- one gig… I know. I heard you talking while walking (mindchat monologue)

c- in this one case it is important to compare two people’s life variables

when/if our mindbodies are linked?

who has more leeway to accommodate these types of disruptions? (fatigue due to energy pulls, disrupted sleep, lack of focus , etc)

v- I do:

08:21 c- IT MATTERS. I don’t just do it to complain. I am documenting a case study.

V- understood

08:22

v- you’re learning about the healthcare industry

c- yes, I am … some of it is scary stuff

v- understood

08:23

”as soon as patients get a (Medicaid) waiver …”

v- the insurance company / gov’t program owns them -

c- they determine if they can take away hours of care … to redistribute to others more in need

08:26

c- if you work in the public sector? You don’t qualify for Medicare EVER. If you never held a job that takes out those taxes? Take a part-time job to earn 10 yrs credit.

c- in education? The woman I helped do accounting for? (Had to take side jobs to get Medicare credits)

08:27 c- this is what pisses me off : I have to clock in INSIDE and no one is here yet…

08:28 c- yeah, TIMESTAMPS MATTER, PEOPLE!!!

V- it affects your bottom dollar

c- EXACTLY

v- f—-in’ a … I’m sorry

08:29 someone else is here … but she’s not one who has keys… nor access codes for the security system ..

v- haha sorry

”is no one here?”

c- no, no they are not

08:30 c- oh, I won’t go into how I didn’t take lunch yesterday (to get claims sent off - billing is time sensitive) and was told I couldn’t leave early, (ok , I just did go into it)

08:30 c- 8:30 !!!

v- your start time … sorry

c hm-hm… this is my life

08:31 c- I am officially late and it’s not my fault

v- haha sorry … brutal

08:32 c- office manager arrives (no it isn’t - just a veteran employee with keys & access)

v- BUSTED!

08:33 clocked in … every minute counts counts… argh.

[ turning on computer ]

c- I am being funny.

v- there is a lot of leeway with the company …

c- there is flexibility just .. I don’t get PTO (paid time off)

c- if I have a doctor’s appointment

v- or a legal appt.

c- I don’t get paid. It takes a year for me to get 5 paid time-off days.

v- oh, lord

c- hm-hm. Normal working world.

08:36

08:37 owner arrives

08:40 c- word one: I love the people I work with.

V- they are bitches

c- in the best sense possible. Strong women. There’s a funny guy, too. I owe him a custard-filled donut (the corporate lawyer / HR person gave it to me not knowing it was saved for him) we’ll call him D.

V- he’s a good guy

c- yes

c (half serious): I work close to the corporate lawyer

v- for a healthcare company

c- connecting some dots?

v- lord, you’re awful

——

[ owner drops some things on my desk & redirects our mtg for me to partner up with the experienced billing person (11yr veteran) … luckily I’m a fast learner … I did this task once and now it’s on my desk to do solo.. I have sketchy notes … trying to recall the steps - note: checklists will be helpful … [ already creating new corporate training resources ] ]

c- she has an 8th grade daughter who is graduating today

09:18 c- starting to see why they hired me?

v- you’re helping to develop training tools

c- hm-hm … pretty much from scratch … from the POV…

V- of someone just starting out … oh, that’s good

—-

[ office drama ]

09:30

—-

09:54 v- are you ok?

c- cinnamony [ and working ]

v- I’m in bed

c- you do not need to rub it in … sleep well?

v- f—- you (humorously said)

09:55

[ retrieving photocopies of claim docs to mail out ]

10:32 D: What ‘ya doin’? Comin’ out of your dungeon?

CG: (looking to make sure I have the right photocopies from the office copier)

chuckles out loud. Hm-hm.

c- you have no idea, D. You have no idea.

—-

10:34 c- I can’t make this up. It’s definitely THE BUTTERFLY EFFECT.

v- he’s hittin’ on you

c- he is not. Stop. He’s just being nice. Geesh.

V- i’m jealous.

c- you are not. He has a tat. I did not know this. He usually wears a suit. I was teasing him today

v- you are totally flirting

c- no, I was not. There’s a difference … Friday is “cas- day” according to D. He had his sleeves rolled up. I saw but did not stare.

v- haha stop, … you were totally checking him out

c- I was not. Stop. I assess. I profile like SPIES do without letting others know (mostly) what I am noticing …

v- haha stop

10:39

—-

[ ongoing mindchatting while I work ]

11:51 v- you keep working your billing job

c- on the record, let’s just hope Jason Silva isn’t ever proven to be connected to me nor my transcriptions accurate (of what I hear from a nonlocal source)

—-

12:11 c: you want to talk about the intricacies of consciousness?

v- stop… be good

c- assHOLE…

12:45 clocked out for lunch

v- and all those other times?

c- I am productive. Be good. Potty breaks.

v- hm-hm.

C- you want me to disclose that I go to the bathroom frequently because I have kidney stones so I drink excessive amounts of lemon water?

v- to flush out your coffee

c- double whammy

v- ok, fair enough … Bon appetit

12:48

—-

v- staying IN

12;53 c (chuckling) haha. You are just wrong

13:53 c- if people truly could see via my POV they’d understood

v- that you’re batshit

c- I am NOT batshit : (proving that I am not?) is what I am trying to do ALL ALONE

——

Working on Outlander post from yesterday (adding images)

——

13:11 clocked back in

—-

A bit sleepy

SAHB

13:41

—-

c- mainstream, huh? [ we so poke the bear back and forth ]

13:46 lighthearted softness

c- stop making me laugh

——

13:49 c- TECHNICALLY, that’s not unplugging

v- haha, I know. Get back to work.

c- I looked up briefly from my report - one has to redirect one’s focus from computer screen and other repetitive tasks so as not to injure oneself

v hm-hm

13:50

it’s like the work version of my question without an answer

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I KNOW AN EXCEPTION OCCURRED!

c: bring out your stack! (like Monty Python’s “bring out your dead!”

v - paper trail

c- this one case is two inches thick…

16:44

—-

17:00 walking

v- bring out your dead!

c- flee! Run away! Today was twilight zone…

v- …awful

c- it was… fine

v- uh, no it wasn’t

c- ok… no, it wasn’t. all I have to say is the women at the switchboard today?

v- troopers

17:01

c- I stayed in my cave (as D called it the second time I saw him in the copier room) doing billing

—-

17:53 made it (earlier bus headed to burbs) I hustled with a bum knee that shifts horizontally if I’m not careful …

17:55 v- May I ask you a question? What are you including all these details.

c- walk a day in my shoes

v- got it

c- or in my not so sturdy knee brace

v- haha . Stop.

17:56 c- and we’re movin’

—-

18:33

v- you and your Lyft drivers

c- 2016 Olympic track and field guy

v- yuP

c- starting his own track club (chatted about start-up)

—-

Prepping dinner

19:10 c- just a record: just a timestamp, no sound, no read.

V- what’s for dinner?

c- steaming potatoes for mashin’

v- the youngest wanted my A-1 recipe chicken

v- poultry seasoning

c- yesh with olive oil… and fresh bell peppers sautéed in olive oil

19:12

-—-

19:53 c- yeah me! i’m Back down to zero followers

v- you are so weird

19:54