DAY 1817

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00:08 c- I realize I may be insulting or harsh and I, too, have an image problem

v- teller of unpopular truths

c- … and I hope people get insulted and

v- and get their act together

c- and BTW I recognized her

V- from your research

c- I have a good memory … I knew who was with you

00:10 c- don’t hide it. If you are with her, show her off. That’s what she’s good for

v- omg …. BE NICE … are you going to bed?

c- yes, I am

v- GOOD, so I can get some rest … you have been bitching all day

c- yuP… sucks to be you (sing songy)

v- is that a Ghost reference?

c- there was an undercurrent to that last statement, yes

00:12

v- ___

c- in all honesty, I prefer to be BTS… it’s probably better that way

v- you’re nice otherwise (when you are out in the open)

c- I know. I think people might be shocked at how nice I am out there

00:15 c- this is DEFINITELY not entirely who I am …

v- just the bitchy you

c- hey, I have my moments

v- many

00:16

——

01:54ish

awakened

I am uncomfortable and restless in an odd way

What is this?!?

02:04 c- I don’t want to accuse anyone of anything, but I’m getting to that point of wondering what it is that I am experiencing

upset

c- I don’t want to feel this anymore … I don’t want to feel this anymore

02:09

upset

c- I don’t want to keep being awakened every night by someone doing who knows what

upset

02:10

c- it doesn’t matter what it is … this is what I experience all the time because of this connection

THIS is what I’m talking about : when my sleep is disrupted and what I sense upon awakening feels like I’m being violated

02:13

c- I don’t care WHO you are… you should have come and talked to me to make me feel SAFE not

v- not abused. Got it… I know how upset you are

02:16

c- I don’t need to see anything on SM to SENSE something … that’s not how this works … I don’t just react negatively to seeing something on SM…

02:17

V- just hang in there

c- hang in there?!? My sleep is disrupted and what am to think?!? This is five years of a nightmare I can get away from.

02:20

02:23 c- this is just another example of whoever living their life and it affecting my life negatively … obviously if it’s Jason Silva ONCE AGAIN i prove my point that he is cruel not to come forward and make my life easier by just telling me what it is - at the minimum he doesn’t have a connection. And I figure out what’s wrong with me then

or

ADMITTING to it and we work on what’s wrong so I don’t have to suffer any of these episodes

02:25

——-

05:12 awake

———

06:45 c: please start the process to remove your life force from me. Please. I do not want to be connected to a man who invests his time and efforts in that niche of society who believes this is raising the stage of consciousness:

“Each one of our items is ritually infused with healing Energy Medicine so that wearing it invokes your highest healing vibration”

Each item is alchemically infused with the energies of unconditional love, supreme healing, and crystalline protection. May your CrossPollen item align you with your highest

guaranteed the indigenous populations of anywhere do NOT believe someone who can buy an $888 cloak will have HEALING VIBRATIONS because of it.

I think the project of co-creation is an important one. I applaud them for that step forward. However, I do NOT want to be associated with anyone who advertises that sort of partnership

b- with woo

c- a disgrace. Pure and simple I am ashamed to be connected to someone who supports the proliferation of such hogwash.

c- I know these words are extremely harsh. I am sure you don’t want to be connected to me either.

I meant no insult to hard work done for good.

However it is a project that is miring itself in such a rich niche that its scope is very limited.

06:56

06:59 c- it makes me ill to know I connected with aThe Person who chooses to focus his time and efforts on this. I have dedicated my life towards goals that wreck exactly THE OPPOSITE of who you are.

I never wanted the glamor of the limelight.

i could have chosen modeling but I avoided it time and time again for this very reason.

I am a practical woman who sees this sort of community as people I never would associate with (new age rich kid hippie millennials who say they want to spread good healing vibes and forget very important aspects of life and society in the process because of who they are and how they live )

07:04

07:06 c- each and every day I am forced to see how you choose to live your life

v- they are my friends

c- I do not care. Like I said I think it based on good intentions. The project at its heart is a good one. The approach? Not so much. It is superficial - and I know these words are difficult to read - but it is. If these partners had really done their research? I think they might have found out interesting tidbits about Native American art and design.

I am sure the Mayans are not an isolated case.

To be able to wear certain designs (and colors)

v- you have to reach a certain…

c- … basically you have to spend A LOT of time in the indigenous community and be like family to simplify it.

You can’t just say “alchemically infused “ and like a magic wand

v- they have to do the hard work… (to wear colors/designs) I know

c- I met a woman when I was interpreting (Spanish > English because our Guatemalan teacher didn’t speak English well enough) for my fellow students in Kaqchikel Maya class who was welcomed into that fold : she had spent years with indigenous peoples.

v- she was a guest speaker

07:11 c: yes

07:16 c- again, this post stays up. I realize they are harsh words. I again will probably be considered toxic. I am just being honest. I mean no harm by them. I am raising my own awareness of the intricacies if cross pollinating cultural practices.

V- agreed

07:17 c- I truly do not want to discourage good projects like this one from ever happening. I just find the approach superficial and near-sighted (coming from my hypercritical mind right now … if I were to walk through a vendors market and they’d be there? Of course I would keep these thoughts to myself.)

07:18

07:19 c- I of course see it is a beautiful project with very good intentions. I studied an endangered language and presented with my fellow students as non-natives who were trying to save

v- a dying language

07:20

07:21 c- i’m sure we sounded awful to native ears … (chuckles)

v- it was the intention that mattered

07:22 c- you have to start somewhere

v- you wouldn’t associate with this niche … I DO

C- I know. And like I said, I’d spend myself doing something more practical in the trenches. You do what you ferl

is right. I never said you shoukdn’t .. it’s just not what I would do to “raise the stage”

v- you are going to be a battering ram

c- hasn’t stopped for five years. I am amazed you have survived this long

v- thank you (light hearted soft heartwarm)

07:24 : this is my mind in textual form… out and about? Highly filtered and nice and courteous as can be… but THIS unfiltered thought stream is going to make a difference. We so often forget what good ideas are lost

v- in being nice

c- sometimes telling a raw truth is necessary to make important changes

v- so, you like…

c- yes, of course it’s a beautiful project, but its woo packaging leaves a bad impression (on me)

07:27

c- I joked about the dyes… and it’s good to hear they are natural

v- stop…. pigment peddler …

c- hey! Like I minchatted yesterday … I may focus on pigments but pigments are IN EVERYTHING … remember that

v- omg, stop

[ to INXS’s “Mystify” melody ]

“all veils are RIFTY…”

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07:31 c- that’s my idea of cross pollinating and mixing it up

”streets are BLUE”

”RIFT-ify…. RIFT-ify me”

v- you are so wrong

——

07:36

v- people are going to see this

c- I don’t care. I am showing people thoughts that WE ALL HAVE. To deny we never have criticizing thoughts like these? Thoughts that are contrarian to someone else’s? Is a LIE.

c- beauty is in contrast … not monotone

—-

my double fingered salute (my OM) [ a special moving symbol for Trickster ]

07:43

——

when you say the “raise the stage,” what do you mean? Your message is lost when you are continually seen primarily amongst a certain group of people

07:49

c- do you want to explain to the world where your inner VIBRATION is sourced?!?

Until then, CHARLATANS keep dishing out your snake oil

07:51

feel that?

I’m not wearing an $888 alchemical infused cloak

———

c- no goggles (nor hat) needed

07:57

EYES WIDE OPEN now playing : Wake Walker

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08:02 c: spending time with my beautiful babies today. Already made them.

08:03 c- you want more

v- no

c- you will explain yourself and what you’ve done

v- agreed .. don’t be cruel

c- who was being cruel?

v- matter of perspective

c- and you keep up a steady stream. The masses haven’t yet caught on. BEHAVE.

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09:07 c: if she is lying next to you. Show her this. And this is what I have to tell her:

I am inside Jason Silva. Tread Carefully.

My I have a happy life? Is to ensure the scales are balanced : to ensure my happiness.

08:09 c: you have cause immeasurable suffering when it didn’t need to happen.

08:10 c: you and she are far from good. I want the world to understand what you could have done better.

08:11 DAY 1817 and neither of you are anywhere near to giving me an answer or an etherical divorce… or does Rachel rally have all those magical powers all her adoring fans believe she has?

it’s called LOVE for the man you profess to have a yummy soul connection with.

if you loved him that much?

you’d force him on a plane to admit/deny something to me … at the very least an e-mail.

but… you choose to dance and prance instead.

——

08:14

c- love is not just watching your loved one continue to suffer

if he were my man? First thing : take care of the trauma at its source.

08:19 c: remember who your love is MARRIED to.

08:19 c- no ring on your finger will ever change that bond between us.

But keep liking those types of comments

they are meaningless when you realize how

EVERY ACTION has a REACTION in entanglement

08:21 c: let’s balance some scales, shall we? They’ve been weighted unfairly for some time now.

08:26 c: you talk to me first or get rid of this bond between us. Those are your choices right now.

08:27 c- I have screamed so many times I do not want to be connected to you

v- a disgrace. I heard.

c: I should have followed my intuition when all this began: A CREEP.

v- Creepzoid. I remember.

08:28

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08:30 UNCENSORED: THE SILVA

18 September 2014 13:28

08:32 c- I don’t want you by my side let alone creeping inside me. You have shown your true colors over and over again over the years and I have gotten to the point to realize I have better things I can do to make this a better place. Maybe on a smaller scale, but at least I will live a happier life.

I had that before.

08:35 c- I can’t get rid of you. What did I do to deserve this?!? To be connected to Jason Silva? The way I see him now?

08:36 c: I am a woman in my own right

I don’t need nor want his association to bring in business ETC.

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08:38 c: deny it, Rachel. I have proof that Jason’s followers have COMPENSATED you well.

08:38 v- ugly

c- yes, it’s ugly. And there is a distinct association with a woman getting paid for her services in association with a man.

08:40 c: THANK GOODNESS you made that choice with her and not me.

c- EVOKE away.

c- keep it up

v- the water’s already boiling.

c- explain yourselves. I’m sure that association will go away.

08:42

v- catharsis

c- it feels good to get it out

v- o.m.g.

c- I think people can get a clear picture of what I think of her.

peeformance artists be performance artists

08:43

c- show your inner space … or … do you trust your followers to INTUITIVELY know you are the genuine article? Just because you’re a show girl?

c- oh, that’s a right: because they can feel all those positive vibes , rainbows, unicorns LOVE AND LIGHT 💓✨

EMOJIFICATION of SM reaches … a certain niche.

08:46

c- remember all those times you called me “whore”

c- it’s not me: it’s Rachel Rossitto who whores herself. Remember that. All a matter of perspective.

v- that’s viscous

c- it is. And all her adoring fans will ow REALLY think I’m toxic. Phew. That is never anything i’ve Said to someone indirectly direct before. And she is if you lol at it from a different POV

v- stop

c-

i sense your chuckle

v- this is really f—-ing awful, c

c- it is. It is a horrendous situation that needs to be fixed and very soon, don’t you think?

v- yes, I do

c- then , you can go live your kofe

v- with yoy

c- you may not have a choice in that … and neither do I… we need to work n some serious issues

v- they will be addressed … quit calling her a whore

c- she gets well compensated because of being with you

v- that is wrong ..

c- truth hurts.

08:50

08:51 c- you should never have called me a whore in here all these years. Even in jest.

08:52 c: look, I am an honest person through and through. I am speaking my mind more than I ever have in my entire life for reasons

v- circumstances beyond your control

c- people may be offended by what I say, but if they see the bigger picture

v- they will understand

c- we ALL have negative thoughts

v- we just don’t voice them

c- I would NEVER say these things in public .. this is my InstaFeed -

v- the sharing of consciousness

08:54

c- argh. Heaven forbid my loyal (returning) customers see these posts … I hope they understand

v- it’s art

c- it’s research, it’s a thought experiment

v- through and through, c

c- yes, we all have choices of what to say or not say in any situation … I choose to unleash the Seethe

v- yes, you are

08:55

c- you don’t keep that shit in

v- no, you don’t

08:56

—-

08:58 c- it’s a most private space to communicate

v- yeah, I know

c- but it’s open and accessible to the public … what sort of thoughts would YOU have at any given moment … and if they were transparent and heard by the public?

v- heaven forbid

c- thank goodness for filters

09:00

making coffee

c- crap. I have to take that course …

v- which one

c- On being a good divorced parent

v- haha. Stop.

c- it’s a thing. A requirement … a good one in my county.

09:05 c- took a class before getting married

V- premarital counseling?

c- yesh… now, a divorce class.

09:05

v- May I ask you?

c- I am divorced

v- what does that mean?

c- however you want to interpret it

v- touché

09:06

c- I told you a while ago papers were signed

v- that doesn’t mean you’re officially divorced

c- oh? What would an official divorce take?

v- I know what that means

09:07

c- do a background check. Am I Christine Marie Gruendemann?

v- yes you are…

09:09

c- now, the BMV has issues with my new compliant ID… do you know how many documents you now need to prove who you are … and if you are a woman…? In this situation?

v- OMG I can’t imagine.

c- I’ve been their twice already and each time the paperwork I need changes

c- in name change HELL.

——

v- you really don’t want to be associated with me?

c- no… I know that is a shock. I know your followers and whoever might not understand that, but they haven’t had to live with you like this for five years

09:14 c- and I have never had a choice about you talking to me, no matter how many ways I tried to get you to communicate with me in the usual ways - to clear the air

to prevent so much suffering

c- that’s all on you

I tried Fall 2014 … even earlier on … one of the first things I said was

V- when do we meet?

c- IT WAS IMPORTANT THEN for a reason

09:17

[ getting ready to mix paints ]

C- when in doubt, use humor

09:36

C: oh, Salvadore…

v- I really, really don’t like you right now

c- I just love when Shane yells out in uncomfortable despair “JASON!”

09:38

c- it’s called mainstream HUMOR

”ENCOURAGEMENT!”

”I will transfer you my energy…”

”I will transfer my karma

”here is my karma … on you

< JASON! >

you have a great aura … yes

<JASON!! >

ENCOURAGEMENT… YES!!

09:42 v I really don’t like you right now

v- Couple’s Retreat is pretty classic

c- yes, it is

09:43

[ ongoing mindchat as I work in my art studio : kitchen ]

10:45 v- I don’t know what to do, C… you’re in the very fiber of my being

——

[ reading an article ]

c- no, you are not a bad mom.

Unfortunately, so many people are in this same situation at varying degrees when dealing with healthcare.

LINK : https://www.vox.com/health-care/2019/5/10/18526696/health-care-costs-er-emergency-room

—————

10:57 c- I want you to put this into perspective : a mom / family had to make some difficult choices because of a potential $1000 ER bill

v- a life and death situation

c- and you wonder why I get upset about an $888 goddess cloak that promises healing vibes.

10:58

c- I know I should have anonymized my examples, but people would be able to figure it out anyway.

11:09

11:11 v- they are good people

c- I am sure they are, JS

———-

children arrive ❤️ hugs ❤️

12:06 oldest giving me an encore of her violin concert pieces

12:14 and the youngest is helping …

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———-

15:24 c: at the expense of another.

15:25 c: everyone should have a choice. I do not. That is my point. Whether or not you choose to recognize that fact? Is your choice.

v- I’ll be good

c- because at the end of the day?

...Truth, Will

make a point

When past is present

The future arrived …

-Scribe. 

—-

15:27 c- and when that day comes? Let’s hope your life doesn’t trample all over those less fortunate … because if it does?

history will write you off not as who you want to be known for but who chose to get whatever he wanted at a high human cost.

don’t be a slaver

don’t be a rapist

don’t be a colonist who thought he was entitled to take up residence in another land that was never his to begin with.

History has many reference points for those who … how do you put it?

“The details of a lived life that distinguish one from another”

15:33 c- how many more examples are you going to make me provide before you come to the realization that…

v- we’re in this together

15:34

15:35 c- are you starting to understand that anything you say or do …

v-you have a counterpoint

c- but… continue to be emboldened by the hundreds(?)

v- haha

c- let’s say dozens who actually give a crap on a regular basis to leave a note on your posts

15:36 c- oh, I know … I have years’ worth of stats in the Rolodex of my mind about what trends there are on your posts

v- omg… I know you do

15:39 c- Momma had to take a break … she had to cook… kids fed, now back to

v- the art studio … I am in love with that

c- some day you can explain what you intended. Right now?

v- you’re confused. I know.

15:40

from messy …

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into a neater package

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18:38 v- organized chaos

c- something like that

SAHB