DAY 1887


SAHB , subtle blood coursing

00:12 c- we all have to live.

however, when one life negatively affects another, the one negatively affected should have the ability to CUT OUT IF THEIR LIVES the other that negatively affects them

I REALIZE that JS may possibly sense me and hear my thoughts, get impressions of what I am living on my end remotely … “ spooky action at a distance”

but if he does NOTHING to complain about it to me ? To another authority who would notify me about this negative effect?

it is as if it did not and does not happen

the importance of reporting a crime - how difficult it may be for the victim … against whatever odds …

it is important to report a crime

if no one reports a crime?

more may happen

the criminals get away

v- with wrongdoing

00:17 c- there ya NO ACCORD


v- if no agreement is met

maybe that noise complaint?

The neighbors weren’t notified

maybe the neighbor wasn’t able to nicely ask that the music be turned down

maybe the neighbor DID ask nicely … but he just kept on cranking the music as loud as can be disregarding that other person’s need to sleep.

00:20 c- there was a reason that neighbor called the authorities

v- he ignored the nice request

c- over and over again.


00:21 posting

c- so this nice person calls the police

they disregard the complaint

v- why?

c- this person is well-connected.

That age-old formula of a nobody complains against a somebody.


c- someone tells this guy to turn down the music just when a cop is asked to stop by to see how bad the noise is

v- quiet

c- for a while. Cop followed through with the noise complaint - no evidence as to a noise problem.


C- and why would this good, law-abiding citizen be accused of disrupting the peace?

No record.

So many people in town love this person.

The cop who checks up on the noise complaint knows this guy - not personally - but…

v- word of mouth


c- be honest. Be considerate of what this is .

i will keep filing complaints - posting notices around town - until someone pays attention to..

v- the disruption

00:28 fire antsy feet

c- don’t be that guy who’s an untouchable asshole.


00:30 calm

v- I like your color collection

c- hm-hm. I just needed to start a new entry because of the switch to midnight

v- i’m sorry you can’t sleep

c- sorry doesn’t Cut it anymore

five years of upending my life goes beyond a simple apology.

00:31 c- agreed

00:32 c- we all make accommodations for the ones we love

I fin’t Have that relationship

if I did?

That person on the other end of the tele(m)pathos line would have come forward to my personally by now.

This is an outright offensive attack

and I am defending myself now instead of just turning the other cheek.


YOU HAVE NO RIGHT to my most private Self.


I hope your PARTNER(S) understand what the definition of ASSAULT is.

i have been hacked, harassed, attacked, assaulted, and have, against my will, been submitted to a whole slew of other crimes.







c: I advise whoever this is? To inform your legal counsel of EVERYTHING related to any part of a tele(m)pathic connection

so they can prepare a case

v- that’s never been done before

v- got it. Sorry.


c- so, when I say I welcome lawyers’ involvement in this? I MEAN IT.

b- because there’s enough evidence

c - I am NOT delusional. I am NOT insane.

v- you are righteously angry


00:50 c- this May very well go both ways

v- a two-way connection

c- but I do not know that. YOU DO.

00:51 c- and that is another formal complaint just waiting to happen


C- when that waveform collapses?


c- a shock wave will spread out rippling and disturbing every aspect of our lives

00:53 c- and ground zero

v- is right here


v- I get it. I’m sorry.

C- you know what harm is inflicted by this connection

that moves from negligence

to intentional harm done because of that knowledge


Ongoing subtle blood coursing , SAHB

00:57 calm

00:58 starts up again …

c- I am going to try to go to sleep again

v- i’ll try not to disturb you



c- is that… VALENCIA?!?

IMAGE:  Westworld  Season 3

IMAGE: Westworld Season 3

[ quick refresher of the downtown landscape ]

am reminded of other areas…

IMAGE:  Westworld  Season 3

IMAGE: Westworld Season 3

24 January 2019 - [   LINK   ] to @virtuonaut IG post

24 January 2019 - [ LINK ] to @virtuonaut IG post

01:21 c- you are evil. You do realize my situation.

V- yeah, I know

c- hm-hm … oh, and I saw your strange like yesterday about NAZIS

V- what? (Guilty innocence)

c- f**ker.

01:23 c- and people call me DELUSIONAL ? For doing my homework.

v- schoolmarm

c/ it’s just a few clicks away. I really don’t Like you.

C- no, nice re: Valencia … it has a wide range of offerings (landscapes / backdrops)

v/ with…

c- yes, yes, yes … La Guerra Civil / Segunda Guerra Mundial



01:43 (teasing) : NOLAN (et al) BLACKLISTED.


01:44 v- what else?

Meet The Parents (2000) - I'm watching you
IMAGE:  Westworld  Season 3

IMAGE: Westworld Season 3

01:51 v- you are so creepy

c- and you know how pissed I am right now

v- rightfully so



“We all have a role to play” huh? (PP)


02:09 c- care to comment on your … involvement … with Westworld?

v- no

02:10 v- you’ve been onto me for years

c- yes, yes I have. Have any secrets you’d like to divulge?

v- no

c- hm-hm



03:57 waking up from a dream

v- in Spanish

c- yeah (drowsy) … going to write down details


[ LINK ] “The Social Media Parallel Universe: Science Meets Social”


04:11 c- (snarky) you have some seriously messed up engagements.

C- from this POV? You do not build relationships, and you are far from building connection.

I’ve seen evidence of being divisive & not generating healthy multi-perspective discussions.

JS + RR rarely engage in meaningful discussions (“getting people to talk”)

they just LIKE compliments and move on.

04:14 c- there are hundreds of questions that are left unanswered - probably thousands now since the nearly five years I’ve been researching. But, by golly, JS will like the question.

it’s one thing to leave a question untouched.

but to LIKE a question?

That’s like in a normal conversation smiling, nodding and walking away.

the question asker is left with a confused look on his or her face.


04:19 c- in real life (this won’t happen because i’ve made it clear that no matter what I want nothing to do with RR ever)

if I walked up to RR & JS, I’d ask them point blank:


04:43 c: I would look at both JS & JS and said, how you interact online is divisive.

you do NOT foster an inclusive environment, but exclusive one … where you only like complimentary comments to your posts. You RARELY TO NEVER interact in meaningful ways with people who comment to your posts , ESPECIALLY those that challenge people to think.


04:46 c- IT’S NOT ROCKET SCIENCE, but the both of you still don’t get the art of making real connections on social media.

The engagements you have? Are superficial ones.


If you really want to connect with someone, you have a conversation, not nod and smile prettily with emojis.



04:56 c- to date? JS + RR have yet to demonstrate a meaningful relationship (posing prettily and going through the motions is NOT a good representation of a meaningful relationship… but I guess peole have TO PAY to find out what that really is… maybe. = Evoke module = pay per piece of advice?! nauseating. Use social media for good, not commercializing on your relationship that you could easily give away for free. ]

06 July 2019 RR IG post

06 July 2019 RR IG post

that love listicle? Is still full of vaguities.


c- carefully read it. There is a different way someone could interpret it.

v- not specific enough … you should have been a lawyer.

04:58 c- hm-hm



and let people assume.

their silence breeds not only misunderstandings but a misconception about what makes a relationship truly work.

A healthy one.



you can’t just pose prettily

v- and expect it to last


c- old habits are hard to break.


C- it’s public domain. If she wants me to remove it? Contact me to remove it.

05:11 c- and just FYI ? It’s not just me…


C-’t.explain… (you know? REALLY CONNECTING with your audience?)

they may THINK one thing

v- when it’s really another (reality)

c- or an overlapping one

v- you think to much

c- eh, well, when you are dubbed over by another’s virtual presence, you tend to … think things through a lot


05:15 c- I know nolleen.michelle doesn’t Comment any more .

i didn’t mean to scare her away… I really never meant any harm/ just..

v- bridging a gap … I love you for it

c- I don’t want to come off as harsh, but … to get at a truth? You have to be specific and direct and not sugar coat things

v- agreed

05:17 c- in that filter bubble, they’ve been desensitized, zombified into a stupor of not even considering any other possibility … and by JS + RR’s likes?

I don’t blame them for assuming.



05:23 v- you are SO WRONG

C- then, DON’T BE FAKE.


05:25 c- you are awful. I see a color palette..

v- I know you do. Love has many forms, c

c- hm-hm and you rarely talk about them with a specific person

v- I know I don’t

c- there is an approach of making it more universal - which, of course, I get … but that is NOT what you are presenting to the world

v- agreed

c- there is a danger in that… when you have a specific person …

v- agreed.



c: then USE YOUR WORDS. You can do it: BE SPECIFIC so that there is NO MISUNDERSTANDING.


C- when you don’t use ANY words AT ALL (or very few) there are even MORE ways to misinterpret something.



v- I know, stop.

c- don’t be hatin’ the truth seeker

v- FINE.


06:47 c- don’t just LIKE, JS. Announce to the world if you have a personal milestone. Use your words. Don’t warp reality in a way that deceives people.

You know what normal people do?

they don’t mislead people. They just say to how it is, especially if a couple publicly shares their relationship online.



C- don’t hide behind likes.

you make the effort to like a comment?

just post with a caption that says:

we’re engaged.

so happy to be expecting our first child with the woman I love.


c- if you don’t? YOU are the one who warps OTHERS’ PERCEPTION of a reality


C- you push? I shove.

if ANYONE thinks I haven’t thought through EVERY possibility?

v- they’d be mistaken

c- it’s EXHAUSTING to have this connection and NOT know the truth

trying to “read” what reality is for my prime suspect of a tele(m)pathic connection?

has been five years of hell.

if someone EVER accuses ME of HARASSING, get ready,..

v- for a shitstorm

06:56 c- THERE IS A REASON I directly tried to contact Jason Silva and Rachel Rossitto.

06:57 v- they’re messing with your lofe

c- it has to do with my senatorial experiences

AND THEIR UNWILLINGNESS TO BE SPECIFIC about the nature of not only their relationship

v- but the woman in between

c- if there isn’t one (a connection)? FINE. Then contact me directly and say so.

But until I hear officially from Jason Silva myself? With his verifiable signature / voice / video / in person presence (in a normal way)?

c- everybody should listen to what I have to say

v- it’s on purpose




except a few endearments here, emojis there, and LOTS OF POSING PRETTY, a few suggestive posts and, of course, the “official” commitment stamp (which is a joke … according to that relationship status feature I’m probably still listed as married on Facebook… I have to check… i’m Curious…. my ex put that on there. I didn’t)

v- that was before this

c- yah. I am SUPER conscious of the data we put out there … if FB knows we’re married.. what data does that give whomever?




you both STILL have not defined who you are to each other publicly.

STRANGE. Big red flags for me.



07:10 c- put up another profile picture. One without that t-shirt.

v- no, I won’t and you know why

c- THIS, THIS is what I have had to deal with for…

v- ten months… ten months, I know

07:11 c- EVERYTHING is a matter of interpretation if JASON SILVA and RACHEL ROSSITTO aren’t crystal clear with who they are to each other



c- I’m not sure when it was “official” on FB… this is showing 2015

v- I know …

c- memory blurs… anyway… still

married according to Facebook 🙄


07:20 c- and that’s not even my name anymore FACEBOOK. I AM IN VIOLATION …

v- and you can’t get out of it

c- still waitin’ to do that & find the time when I’m not tied to a desk & cubicle (when I have a car, when I have enough money…) … name change SUCKS.

07:22 c- and there are literally hundreds of places it needs to be changed

07:23 v- what are those pictures?

c- those are private pictures. That is my private FB account with my children, family, lifelong friends … I do NOT want the world to see all that, which, JASON SILVA, you hide from the world, too.

You cannot are your personal page friends list .. for good reason.

Some things should be kept private

but that whole share your relationship online publicly thing?

if you do that?

You should be normal about it.

you can present it any way you want, but it SHOCKS me people aren’t asking the questions I have since you came out as dating(?) Rachel.


Did Rachel use that word?

Maybe. I don’t recall Jason doing it… but, again, i’ve Been busy trying to handle a lot in my life besides keeping track of the WORDS J + R have used in reference to each other.

WHICH AGAIN can be misconstrued if not talked about simply, honestly

v- with no subterfuge. I know.


07:29 v: ___

c- yeah, I have said a lot. Do I regret saying any of them? NOT A SINGLE DAMN ONE. At least * I * USE MY WORDS.

v- will you stop treating me like a child?


07:31 c- I am entitled to

my opinion

my views

my perspective

my storification of two people based on what they post publicly

07:32 c- if either of them have a problem with that?

they can contact me directly

be careful what you post publicly

you have a great responsibility as a public figure

what I would say if I were a public figure?

v- would change

c- this will stay posted. These are my private thoughts laid bare. I am a private person now with few to no followers (I recently made sure of that)

c- and STILL there seems to be…

v- a ripple effect. I know.

c- how could a virtual NOBODY have so much impact … or at least so many creative adjacencies to well-known pop culture productions?

v- it’s a mystery 🤷‍♂️




v: hm-hm



Care to explain what happened around this moment in time, Jason Silva?

v- no… not yet.

c- mm.



08:03 C: so…. just to CLARIFY… this video was made years before you met Rachel

v- yes

c: that we know of

v- you and your conspiracy theories

c- I had a VERY strange dream, ok? My dreams are weird in being somewhat predictive, ok?

v- alright

c- WHY would you post to Facebook THE KISS video…

v- around 11:11pm

c- my time

v- understood

08:04 c- ODD.

DIRECT AND SPECIFIC QUESTION: Jason Silva, what were your EXACT sources of inspiration for this video you did on the Epiphany of a Kiss?

Be very careful how you answer this in the future.

v- you have the data.

c- PLENTY of it and what I shared.

v- and when

c- TIMESTAMPED. with verifiable metadata.

c- so FASCINATING that you included the geotagging of your videos.

not TIMESTAMPS but geographical coordinates.


v- I have my reasons… I am ashamed that I thought I could ever do this without you,

c: mm.


08:08 c: be careful with those people in the background

v- understood. “wary, I heard it.

c- I wasn’t sure how I wanted to WORD that.

v- haha, stop

08:09 c: “coffee, coffee, coffee!”

v- Dante’s Peak? you and your disaster flicks…

c- now, WHATEVER your relationship is with Rachel Rossitto? Doesn’t matter to me as much as you admitting or denying to me personally, directly … with EVIDENCE … who we were to each other all these years.

v- agreed


v- agreed.

c- it is THE ONLY thing I have EVER asked for during this ENTIRE duration of hell.


09:06 c- lol … you and your fungus [ 08:43ish JS IG post ]

v- hey, i’m a funguy [ fungi ]

c- hahaha.



[ prepping coffee area, putting ground coffee in filter … unloading dishwasher ]

v: isn’t that beautiful…?

c- uh, have you seen the granny underwear with what looks like something bad happened in the dryer? .. uh, no, it’s granny underwear

down by the river

[ sense laughter ]

c- I swear I got some of Chris Farley’s dust to channel him …





c- I mean, it’s a recurring them e with you too

first, it’s the trailer … down by the river (in Hawaii) [ insert image of swampy beach scene ]

now, its the granny underwear… down by the river (in Italy)

v- it’s a theme, got it.


v- jealous?

c- NO! you want to see some gorgeous beach scenes?! Visit ELEUTHERA. geesh. some of the touristy places you two visit are an insult to nature.

v- fine.

09:42 c- AND historical monuments

v- will you stop'



C- nice pause between SPA and “soul” in your infomercial about the commercialization

v- of another sacred place. I know.

c- hm, hm. Do you know… that the MONASTERY [ v- Montserrat ] that I visited… I think was still FUNCTIONING. cool Egyptian mummy in the museum, too. Strange combo if you ask me… but eclectic … [ v- not too woo-ish 09:45 ]

c- I don’t know what’s worse.

v- I know… [ soft gentle curling your ears under water ]

c- you’re WEIRD


v- [ under his mind’s breath ] you probably breathed in some of that mummy dust…

c- I know, right? that curse of King Tut’s tomb dust … it’s probably what made me INSANE and DELUSIONAL.

v- thanks for that, c. Thanks for that.


V- thanks for that, too

09:47 back to coffee making


[ your fans are going at it about beauty ❤️ ]



09:52 c- I love me the curmudgeony ones.

09:53 c- so, lots of ❤️ and 👍 for the discussion thread (since JASON NOR RACHEL will probably engage in it)… now, THERE is the start of a real, meaningful conversation on social media

v- yeah, on FB. Thanks, C

c- eh. why don’t you answer your fan that asked what you meant by parallel universe?

v- no

09:54 c- and… there it is.


09:55 c- ya want to know which comments JS DID engage with (by just likes)? hm, hm… and you wonder why you have an IMAGE problem with some discerning fans.


09:56 c- yeah, some day you will have to give a shout-out to all those fans you ignored

v- who hit it …

c- who hit the nail on its head.

c- who QUESTIONED you when you should be questioned.

09:57 [ soft gentle ,,,]

v- embrace… thanks for being you

c- I love your fans. they tell a story all on their own

v- I know they do


09:58 c- before I watch ANY video of yours (if I happen to watch it because I don’t watch all of them anymore ]



09:59 v- I love the curmudgeony ones, too

c- look at her profile picture… she is SO cute…

all here I am, have at it! have at it! bring it! question what I point out. Love her already.

v- stop


10:08 c- so, out and about? I feel lightheaded and wooshy

v- (monotone) open air / wind tunnel sense. yeah, that’s me. be nice, c

c- noPE. it’s called MIRRORING. are you nice to me?

v- depends on how you look at it

c- and… therein lies the problem.


10:14 working in the Mayan color collection today


10:21 yesterday made Mayan green watercolors and the more I use it I wonder if I got a bad batch

it mixes wet like a dark forest green, but when dry it isn’t as vibrant


c- I was trying different transparencies / opacities to have the green shoe more …


C- it’s a lot darker than the first smaller batch I acquired .. of course this batch I bought in bulk (argh) … IDK… It’s still a different green than my others

v- but not as vibrant… sorry


17:39 July 2019

17:39 July 2019


10:32 [ projected kiss received ] c- be good.

V- thank you for sharing

This batch of Mayan green reminds me of the Crayola crayon color jungle.


V- it looks more blue than green

c- as if the indigo overpowers the greener hue


[ pouring a second batch of Mayan Red into quarter pans ]

c- I don’t want her to have any part of this story, but I am forced to report it based on ..

v- the rape claim

c- if she is unwilling to be aware of the image she projects out for women / girls globally, I want the world to know I do not approve of her use of social media for how she displays nudity

what message is that really sending to people everywhere? in all the countries where that social media post may reach?


you cannot dance half naked on a public social media channel without an adult content disclaimer. PERIOD.


If Rachel Rossitto does not tag her posts with sensitive content tags, I will report her to Instagram.


EVEN IF IT IS DESIGNATED AS ART… a child walking into a (museum) room full of nude and sexually explicit scenes SHOULD HAVE SOME SORT OF SIGN ( or parental guidance ) that EXPLAINS that THAT ROOM contains NUDITY.

YOU DO NOT POST just in a liberal environment.

YOUR CONTENT COULD APPEAR in “you might be interested in”

AND CHILDREN will be exposed to that content … and if they don’t have PARENTAL GUIDANCE?

v- they don’t understand what they’re looking at.

c- I am a mother and AM FURIOUS that a woman who is supposedly a representative of EMPOWERING FEMALES doesn't think through her posts carefully.


c- I do not want Rachel Rossitto in ANY WAY associated with my true life story. YOU HEAR ME?

v- understood


v- full frontals. got it.


c- or any bikini clad ass that Jason Silva thinks is attractive.

JASON SILVA’S FANS are also children



C- CULTURAL DIFFERENCES EXIST and boundaries blur with social media… that is the realm of digital and the virtual.

v- boundaries exist

c- we are human. we should have RIGHTS to filter out content or at least be notified ,,,

v- it should be tagged

c- … that an image or video or whatever content has any level of nudity

v- as do tv shows and films. fine. have it your way,

c- I hate to be the puritanical bitch… But…

v- when push comes to shove.

c- don’t make me file a formal complaint and detail out WHY posts like that recent one should be marked “MAY BE OFFENSIVE TO (YOUNG) VIEWERS


C- you want to talk about ARTISTIC LIBERTY?! let’s get down to business and lay out the foundations of what is appropriate in THIS sort of situation

v- where you’re furious

c- that I am FORCED to be connected to a man who is associated with a woman who is hypocritical in some VERY ESSENTIAL ways. I am FORCED to be associated with a man (through suspected tele(m)Patric means) and indirectly associated with the woman he is publicly involved with. I HAVE NO CHOICE if tele(m)pathy exists between JS and me. I SHOULD HAVE A SAY in who I am EXPOSED TO.

11:13 c- I am someone who HAS AN ADULT CONTENT SITE.

I tagged ANY post including a swear word or sexually explicit or suggestive image.

v- or your whole site

c- talk to adult content creators

v- and artists alike

c- we live in a certain world and EVERYONE needs to abide by COMMUNITY STANDARDS.


11:19 V- I am f**king ashamed to be connected to you right now

c- GOOD. get righteously angry and think about WHY you’re angry.

Imagine Lady Diana. Just picture her:

v- surrounded by impoverished children

c- Rachel Rossitto has the choice to be whoever she wants to be.

v- for the good

c- if her idea of good is dancing naked in the moonlight or in the river? in public?


be more of a porn star than a strong woman that so many in this world need.

c- I am royally f**king pissed that you treat this CONNECTION (if one exists)

as if THAT part of what this could bow


11:21 V- the glamor sucks

c- don’t you EVER think that I don’t have the better good in mind.

11:21 c- I;m done

v- so endeth your venting

c- what’s sad is she NEVER …

v- shows that side of her

c- what she prefers to show the world

v- is the show girl

c- shrugs… and I’ll just be perpetually pissy ranting in my mostly private sphere… for now.

11:22 c- whatever, if Jason Silva wants only that type of woman in his life, my question still stands that I tweeted months ago (and I think I have my answer based on ten months’ worth of posts by both of them - REDUNDANCY MATTERS)

Futurist @ JasonSilva : What kind of voice and presence should a woman (associated with) you have? Is the Storyteller You representing women to be admired for what they should be?

I will not stand quietly while JS & RR project this idealized BODY of perfection image and pass it off as SOUL-worthy content.

ALL HUMANS HAVE MINDS and other aspects than…

v- physical beauty

c- ..than the repeated SELFIE (beautiful body) posts that are disseminated by JS + RR.

11:28 c- what is WRONG with that industry?! it’s not just RR. it’s like selfie! let’s be soulful.



SELFIE … enroll in my pay-per-piece-of-advice life course.


v- “w.t.f. is wrong with this world?!”

[ more lighthearted ]

v- it’s too awful and crazy to be serious, c

c- oh, I have my opinion

v- and it’s pointed.


v- I know you do.

11:31 c- but… everyone has their thing.

v- let’s not screw things up

c- hm-hm.

11:32 v- isn’t she beautiful?

c- I don’t find her beautiful. apologies, we all have our tastes. your fans will loathe me when I repeatedly say I don’t find Jason Silva attractive (physically) either

c- and that’s sayin’ something … if any of my claims happen to turn out to be true

[ projection received ]

c- will you behave. geesh. you can get away with anything and NEVER

it’s like fondling in public and no one sees you.

v- that’s messed up

c- and I fully realize how batshit that makes me look


c- … until it’s not.


11:36 c- all your public likes are tactical … and I see your other likes … that are “hidden”

v- damn, woman

c- eh… working with a clock tickin’

v- on the likes going away

c- tick tock tick tock… I have enough research, though…

(picking her virtual teeth) I found a nice one the other day

v- hidden, I know

11:37 c- all in my stash

v- you are creepy

c- oh, it says something about you

v- I know…

11:37 c- I don’t know if your fans will really LIKE what I suggest

v- I know

c- have they seen the nudey drippy blonde?

v- no, they haven’t

c- hm. STRANGE.


c- I so had you pegged from the very beginning CREEPZOID

v- ( soft chuckle) I know you did

c- blech. how you stuck to me is beyond..

v- measure




c- you want me to reveal…?


c- Of course, I realize, the GREAT MANIPULATOR


c- this is only … MY SPLINTERED portion of one reality

v- yes, dear

c- you like a lot of Elizabeth Gilbert and your colleague at NatGeo.

v- hm, strange.

c- hm-hm.

11:41 c- just the readily available SCOURING of public like data…

there are some… other likes that are public but less easy to get to.

v- oh, you woudl

c- I have my ways

v- you are creepy

c- I am a very fine researcher and analyze the shit out of you and yours.

v- oh, fine.

11:42 c- let’s see what story the data tells… and how good at forecasting I am given … all the available patterns in it

v- trail mix


11:44 c- you’ve been on my radar a long time. and I track you well… anticipate your movements

v- sense them

c- and make… educated guesses.

v- ok, ok… not 100% accurate

… what do you say about us

c- you either come forward or I get legal

v- fine.

c- I haven’t strayed from that intent.

v- fine


11:47 what is it with your thing with blondes?

v- (chuckles) perception

Screen Shot 2019-07-21 at 11.47.03 AM.png

11:49 c- I made the mistake of clicking on it

v- I know you did

c- I’m tarnished for life

v- yes, you are.. you’re teasing

c- maybe


11:52 c- it’s what I call, after years of analyzing Jason Silva’s behaviors and words and actions…

v- and deeds

c- online … his MODEL MENTALITY.


11:55 c- the words of Jason Silva (and Rachel Rossitto) fans.

11:56 c- yes, Kathy, good question:

What is the deeper meaning in Jason Silva’s posts?

v- direct question, c?

c- yuP.


c- I guess, if it were purely art, we could all view it as an artwork hanging on a wall and each of the observers would interpret it their own way.

However, this is Jason Silva and Rachel Rossitto’s REAL LIFE… right?

v- oh, wow, lines are blurred

c- hm.


[ P2 ]

c- oh, but there’s more! [ infomercial voice ]



12:05 Kathy, no, you are not being old-fashioned. You make perfect sense.

12:06 c- let’s get out of the woo 💩 


they compliment each other plenty, too, with their social media like humping


12:11 c- Rukmi, I mean no offense

v- it’s part of the story

c- one aspect of me is Grammarian, school marm.

[ Grammarian holds up and waves protest sign:



[ start of SAHB]

Bottom Image Credit: @lejlasjanic IG (Jason Silva like 21 July 2019)

Bottom Image Credit: @lejlasjanic IG (Jason Silva like 21 July 2019)

12:25 v- oh, the scribal palette…

c: hm-hm… the Egyptian Collection

although her dress is more thyme green (Medieval Collection)


12:26 c- it’s just one of my observations… and I have WAY too many photos/screenshots on my phone right now

v- transfer and back up

c- something like that


12:34 c- the conversation continues on FB


C- you go, Kathy, RAWR! If auras were so easily detected

v- you’d be a blinding beacon

c- with a pop-up bubble above my head “asshole on board”

v- be good



12:37 c- back to paint mixin’

… .

12:40 c: so, let’s review before I head off to paint … based on RR’s question, let’s give away he answer for freez

v- fine


12:41 c- hey, I’m HELPING her so she can better work it into her lessons … I’m helping her GET PAID

V- oh, you would

c- hm-hm… it’s called LESSON PLANNING

12:43 c- do we call each other names?

v- all the time … based on the situation, whore

c- THIS is what I have to deal with in here

12:43 c- fair enough. WHY do you call me a whore?

v- because you don’t like it

c- because you know how to push my buttons

v- yes, very lovely ones

c- ah, so here’s what he did, class …

v- omg stop (lighthearted chuckling)



12:46 c: do I stuff my feelings inside?

v- no, you’re brutally honest. Too much so.

c- do YOU stuff your feelings inside ?

v- depends on how you look at it

c- do you hope your partner Rachel Rossitto reads your mind?

v- heck no! That shit’s private

c- hm-hm (steeples fingers like a therapist)

12:48 c- would you wish, if I were your partner that I could read your mind

12:49 [ hands on face ] you already do

c- certain parts. Impressions

v- projections

c- I try to be as clear as possible in here and out there (on the typed digital screen)

[ projected kiss received ]

c- … which I never get from you


12:52 c: Remember, I do not have the clarity that others in your life - that inner circle - get with you

v- just my innermost Self, C

12:53 v- which you should appreciate, c

c- throws up arms


12:54 c- there is A REASON for my Seethey episodes

v- I know



public comment:

High fidelity trust is multi-faceted. Trust is built on honesty,  sincerity, and integritty. Not lies, deceit and betrayal. If someone can't be direct and honest with you in many ways - in physical, digital and virtual space - they are not trustworthy.“ - Shadow Belly Dancer


14:14 c- I couldn’t resist


c- so… the heated discussion continued… and I think there needed to be a ref

v- yeah, there did.

c- just showing my …

v- InBetween-ness. Nice… f**k, you’re not nice

c- yeah, well, just goes to show what ..

v- an asshole

c- and PAID WHORE can’t do

v- you would

c- just thought I’d label JS + RR

v- for flavor. got it

c- much more shocking than “troll” and “fake”

v- yes, it is

c- so, I did them both. Woot, woot!
v- you would. You are SNEAKY,

c- yeah, yeah, yeah… all for the PARALLELOGRAM…

V- (soft smile) yes, it is.


c- I can sense you, you know that

[ projected kiss received ]

c- be good. you have a girlfriend you are in a relationship with … all FB official and shit

v- where have I heard that before…?


c- I wasn’t a troll… I didn’t take sides…

v- no, you didn’t… that’s just… I don’t know what to say to that… thanks!

c- WORDS elude

v- yes, they do.

14:19 V- I never can figure you out

c- “It’s a mystery…” [ Shakespeare in Love rhythmic vocalization ]

14:25 momentary left deaf ear [ for about 10 seconds ]



14:33 BB: I couldn’t help it. She spelled it wrong TWICE.

V- School Marm.



[ checking out Kathy’s public profile …c- no…. c- aw… c- no way… 04/07/17 ]


[ checking out Rukmi’s public profile c- very quotidian (it’s just what I call people who quote/post quotes a lot ), lots of profile pic changes … ]


15:11 uploading image… c- Bella is so steamy

15:12 posted

v- yes, she is



15:17 v- let’s talk about labeling… you do this all the time for your storytelling.

c- Yes, I do… I have a lot of self-deprecating humor in here so I call myself names, too… so, I hope people don’t get offended.


c- Ok. NM? the lady who called me a bully for supporting a bully (which was not the case)

is Cat Lady. I check back on her … and inevitably, there’s a new cat picture.

v- (soft chuckle) you just checked.

c- Yes, last night or early this morning.

v- most recent post

c- cat.

15:18 c- insert self-deprecation humor

v- NOX

c- yes, I’m noxiously gassy

v- thank you

c- I let some really stinky ones rip

v- farts

c- yes… (lol) they may be siletn

v- but they are deadly

c- ya gotta hand it to me: I make them count

v- on to the next one


c- you’re biggest fan over the years has been SD. She is Lego Lady

v- aw… yes, she is… self-deprecating humor now

c- hm… I always bring out my (exaggerated faults) here on the InnerNet

Flopsy and Mopsy are the names of my breasts

v- ok, on to the next person

c- Kathy is in healthcare… she supports Charities ❤️ so, we’ll nickname her Charity (just a name I am calling on the fly)

v- that’s not bad…

c-I’ll probably come up with something more humorous later…eerier I called her Curmudgeony… I hope she takes that well

v- yes, she will, because you admit you are yourself curmudgeony… next person

c- Rukmi falls on the side of Woo … it is obvious by her fluffy quotes

v- be nice…

c- I have a thing against a constant stream of other people’s quotes plastered on an idealized fluffy backdrop

v- ok…

c- let’s call her… [ looking at screenshot captures … ]

v- omg… she’s totally in your archive

c- as I have over the years admitted: whoever I interact with I document well… if it’s public,

v- it’s public domain

c- I mean no offense, it’s just the labeling

v- is one-sided

c- we are ALL multi-faceted … but some of us do not present ourselves as spectrally as possible on social media … and it’s easy to typecast those who are more “monotonous” with their presentation

v- ok…


v- “spectrally”?

c- as in spectrum (I just made it up because it sounds better than spectrum-y)

15:26 [ looking at the few screenshots ]

c- we’ll call her Lovely… she has lots of light over shadows, love over fight sort of quotes.

v- got it.


15:28 c- we are always told not to label

v- not to judge a book by its cover

c- but we all do it… we only really discover more about a person…

v- if we know them really well

c- depending on our familiarity with the person…these near strangers I most probably never meet again… nor see again… I tend to scare people off whenever I interact

v- I know.. .be good

c- … we label… it’s easier for us..

v- to digers

c- to handle… to conceptualize… to remember?

v- perhaps …

15:29 c- so, we’ve name called and labeled today.

v- NICE! … all for the story

c- most definitely… as I tell the kiddos when I take photos of their artwork using Crafty Scribe paint… “your art is now Instagram famous”

well, those I mention here are WanderingMindSpace famous… doesn’t have the pull that Instagram has.. but it’s somethin’

v- yes, it is

15:31 v- you make them smile

c- yes, their eyes light up… anyway, they probably have been missing the paint lady… it’s been three weeks

v- sorry..

c- yeah, well… it is what it is. Life moves on.


15:33 c- they probably were missing me, too, because they had someone visiting to assess the market

v- ouch

c- yeah, my little stand attracts..

v- families, I know

c- oh well. ya don’t have a car? you don’t have $ for a rental? you don’t have any car to borrow? … you can’t haul your mobile storefront to a farmer’s market.

v- no, you can’t

15:34 v- … and you don’t make money

c- and the weather was nice… each Saturday.

v: I know… when is…

c- I don’t know. And again, it’s a company car until I can afford my own car again .

v- lawyers

[C sold her car to be able to help pay for her divorce]

c- legal processes are unexpectedly long

15:36 v- and tedious


15:38 v- you got help

c- yes, I also got help. How people afford divorces otherwise? I feel their pain on an experiential level now.

v- I know you do.



[ about to get ready to mix Mayan Yellow ]


(teasing) c- are you … feeling insecure

v- will you be good.

c- I saw your live video title…

Looking for Art, perfectly Free

c- I see how you capitalize ART FREE

v- be good

c- … as you broadcast from a LUXURY RESORT.


c- just sayin’ - you have a mixed message.

v- alright, get back to your Mayan yellow

let me see the work in progress

c- I am trying to create as many colors as possible to put into sets and sell them for less… compared to the individual colors

v- when you get back to market

c- the beauty of watercolors is they don’t go bad…

v- nice

15:49 c: a little bit o’ thyme essential oil

v- natural preservative

c- one of the ingredients the ancient Egyptians used to mummify…

v- voilà


[ cool fresh air in back of throat (car) nostrils ]


v- open air sense?

c- yes


16:06 assorted watercolors to date

[ finished with Mayan yellow, taking a break on the couch ]

increased sensual sensation … slight to increasing turn on [ vaginal caressing … ]

v- don’t worry… don’t worry




17:17 c- I don’t want to feel this… I don’t want to feel this..[ starting to cry ]

v- it’s stopping… I’m sorry,,,


17:18 c- I don’t want to feel that

v- I know you don’t want to… sorry. Better?

c- yes.. thank you


v- I don’t want to make you unhappy…

this has been so traumatic…


C- it’s my body. My mind. I should have a choice over what goes through it.

i do NOT consent to that sort of sensation coming through to my end.

It makes me not only uneasy, but unsettled, and, yes, sexually assaulted.

whoever is on the other end?

has wanted NOTHING to do with me and my physical body… in my physically present environment

that came on suddenly … just a gentle caress to a more intense sexual - unwanted - advance.

I have NO CLUE what that was and quite frankly I don’t care

what matters is that it happened

and someone is the cause of it,

that I reported it as I was only able to do HERE PUBLICLY

and that it was an UNWANTED, UNINVITED invasion into my most private inner space & Self.

I don’t consent to those sorts of attacks.

It has gone way past the point of just accepting that it “just happens”

it is NOT right to submit me to years of this and NEVER come to an understanding about what it is and what it means and how we’re to handle it.

As is stands RIGHT NOW is that someone is living his life as he sees fit without the consideration and responsibility he has in caring for this connection appropriately. He disregards my wishes and needs.

getting drowsy


DAY 1886


03:54 awake.

FIVE HOURS… gah. One of the few longer stretches of sleep I ever get. So good.

v- happy anniversary

c- you know how that makes me feel?

v- not good

c- one of the most profound experiences of my life

v- and I’m with another woman.

C-it makes me feel like it never happened. That I imagined it

v- that you’re delusion

c- that all these years were a waste of my time, talents and good will.


c- that betrayal has hslirbed over and over every day for years. And here is the presence

v- still haunting you … it’ll get better

c- oh? How?

I left my husband because THIS changed me in ways I couldn’t be a whole person with him anymore … and when I did tell him?

v/ he didn’t believe you

c- at least I told people the truth

v- or party of it

c- how many have YOU told?

v/ not many

c- and how fire that make you feel?

v- no good

c- but I bet they believe you

v (quiet) : yeah, they do

c- and I wonder why

v- you… thank you for this


v- do you sleot

c- for five hours straight.

No change in routine or diet.

Same exercise regime

v- biking

c- same weather

v- I like your photo

c- hm-hm …. why the past five hours and not EVERY night, you know?

v- I know..


04:16 v- what happened?

c- it diesn’t matter anymore … my partner .

v- has abandoned you

c- over and over again

04:17 c- I tried over the years. I tried.

04:17 brief left deaf ear ring

04:18 c: now? I just want to go my own directions once he’s not with me

v- and you can’t

c- do you know how that feels?

Something shackling you into a life you have no control over..

v- you feel everything

c- and I still hear that voice

v- i’m here

c- I know you are. And I can’t get rid of you. I can’t love a life apart.


brcayse I am haunted by a presence that refuses to be with me in all ways

or who doesn’t leave me completely

04:20 c- every person deserves their private life apart from another

v- and you din’t Have it

c- you stole my most precious asset

04:21 c- and there is little I can do without a lot of effort to get something back

v- your dignity


peolle xon’t Believe me

my life? Has been RUINED by a mission to prove and make this STORYWORTHY

04:22 c- and you know what?

the dream is a lie


c- you can’t live on a dream

you can’t rely on love

v- it betrayed you

c- but that partner?

instead of doing what he should?

did what he wanted

04:24 c- “hedonistic imperative”


v- has been hell for you

c- every day I am reminded of everyone rjse

of every place else

of every time other than the one that has that “partner” where I believe he should be after over five years

v- yeah, I have

c- we have lived apart for FIBE YEARS

V- when it is the most intimate experience in the planet

c- and I am supposed to be OK with that knowledge? That divided experience?

that reality that NEVER gets better?

04:27 v- it gets worse (I know) … don’t worry

c- you know? You keep saying that … and it gets worse. How am I NOT to worry when U have five years to look back in

v- and it never got better

04:28 c- five years of my life that I sacrificed. For what?

v- a ghost

04:28 c- who chooses not to materialize EVER and just be fully present with me, honest,

v- Forthright … no market

c- no, no market. No car (no money) = no market = no market

c- this divorce has bottomed me out and there is NO ONE except me to get me through the roughest days

i had someone … and that life is gone

v- no, it’s not

04:31 c- yeah, it is … one thing I learned in all this? That there are better men than JS … i’ve fallen in love with them. They were there,

v- they made the commitment

c- they were honest, I never had to question their faithfulness

04:32 c- I never had to doubt their GOODNESS… they were WHOLE MEN.

not some half life

V- I have my troubles too, you know

04:33 c- well, you never come foreward to me personally … you choose to be with other people and give them that intimacy (closeness, tell all).

v- I know …

04:34 C- and now? I am forced to live that same half life because of a ghost of a man


i always lived a full life .. and you’ve taken that ability from me

that people in my life are going to ACCEPT who I am now

c- they don’t believe you

c- because you have that EASY key and refuse to give me that ability to be who I have been all these years to so many people

v- who didn’t believe you

c- an honest, trustworthy woman … people don’t trust me because I have TO HIDE WHO I REALLY AM

because it’s not accepted

because it’s unbelievable

04:39 c- YOU force me to be someone who I am not

04:40 c- because YOU and YOUR life won’t accommodate the truth as much as mine

04:40 c- it’s better being a private citizen … an unknown …

v- you can tell the truth more

c- but to me? To me personally? Why haven’t you ever come forward to just give me peace?

v- it’s coming

c- WHEN?


04:43 c- five hours of sleep (stretch)

what’s sad is that I am happy to have just one glimpse of what I had on a usual basis before

v- a good night’s sleep

c- five hours is the limit … i’ll Take it even though I got more on a regular basis before all this began


[ reads a comment ]

soft chuckle


C- you should block him. He criticized you.

04:50 c- you never have worn yellow that I recall…

v- hm


heartwarm in verge of heartheat

subtke SAHB

05:50 c- I don’t want this… I don’t want this …

c- do you know what hell this is?

I just want it to go away

[ upset ]

05:52 c- do you understand where my pure righteous anger comes from ?!

v/ you don’t want this




05:53 c- and it won’t go away


If she can’t

and she is a part v- of this torture


what good person would EVER leave anyone to suffer this much and this long and CONTINUE to torture?

05:56 c- that is NOT good and kind

c- and TO DECEIVE others into thinking they are GOOD?!?

WTF is wrong with you?!?

05:56 c- I don’t WANT this and I have to endure all this shit by myself?

What kind of a sadistic pig are you?!?



05:58 c- no one.. and I mean NO ONE has treated me with this much cruelty in my entire life

and I have to be connected like this and can’t Remove myself from this situation because whoever this is?!?

is part of how I sense and think…



C- I am so fucking pissed Rachel Rossitto is representing any part of this

it is a DISGRACE to what this is


and SHE TAKES MONEY for her SACRED work

I am so fucking pissed and upset right now

because I have to sense this shit that I don't want To sense

v- and I’m not there


c- but I have to sense this heartwarm THAT IS A NIGHTMARE now

nog LOVE

but a nightmarish reminder of what has been TAKEN

V- stolen

c- from me and my life

06:04 c- I just want to havevthis heartwarm with WHO I LOVE and that love is returned to me

not done man who could do so much with this and his choice is to hook up with some woo chick at Burning Man and resort hop around the world with rich kids who want to “feel good” going through the motions of what THEY THINK is living a healthy and spiritually wholesome life

and you know what I see ?


and a spiritual wasteland


c- and you know WHY I see DEAD spiritual space?

v- because you have been mistreated

c- you have shat on hollowed ground

and play make believe with a woman who doesn’t have a clue about half of the shit we’ve been through

she could read a 1000 books, attend 1000s of classes

v- have her personal guru

c- and it will forever pale in comparison to what this has been and IS

c- and she spreads her spiritual nonsense to 100s

at least her reach doesn’t get very far

because I am sick and tired of pseudopriestesses and false goddesses.


C- tell your story.

I will keep screaming mine until that day arrives when you finally get a clue about the responsibility and care this requires

06:10 c- and it ain’t sittin’ In a prayer circle singing koombaya

v- I know it’s hard work

c- every day I am in a war zone

every day I am surrounded by people who need so my love and help

i sit on that bus and they filter in and out

v- day after day

c- all the while I have to observe THIS bullshit on SM .. knowing what good JS COULD do??

and he’s with a show girl who’d rather be a tour guide to a rich women’s retreat

in comparison? That’s a rich woman’s retreat

most of the people I am surrounded by

rarely leave a five mile radius of where they live

06:14 they are in Worse situations I can’t even imagine … but I hear tidbits of it .. I can see it in how they move, how they talk, the expressions on their faces

06:15 c- and I take all that shit in REMEMBERING

V- what could have been done

c- and wasn’t

06:15 c- so when I get mad and it seems like I’m Being A HEARTLESS BITCH

It’s just pure righteous anger at the situation and a future that isn’t and may never be



06:18 v- you really don’t like her

c- I don’t … and that whole power routine?

v- is vacuous

06:19 c- but keep preaching that woo shit to 100s maybe a few thousands … i’ll Keep watching how short range it is and be thankful for that much

but the people who are led astray?

I feel for them

i wish they would wake up to that hidden reality … but it is hidden to them

because JS refuses to be open and honest about it in the ways he should be


c- my whole point is this:

that couple?

mid I am connected to JS telepathically and sharing a bodymind? If we sculpt a private inner space all of our own?

that couple everyone so loves and adores?

v- is a lie


06:24 c- whatever… it’s your life story

I should have no part in writing it from your perspective

v- thank you


[ about to get up from bed mindchat continues ]


c- I can’t be (fully) happy with a ghost haunting me / a demon possessing me

c- that dream ? Is long gone. You made sure of that these past few years of never showing up and truly being there to rehearse me from this pain of not ever fully knowing

06:28 c- but keep preaching that optimistic bullshit when

the one person you are bonded with ?

her life was destroyed because of YOU

06:29 c- because of the good she tried to do without anyone’s help


V- it’ll get better

c- how is it going to get better?

When I have this CREATURE inside me I can’t exorcise?


C- that beautiful partnership I wrote about in so many stories and poems?

was a lie

06:31 c- you made sure to have those stamped in history of just figments of my imagination


Epic my ass.


C- so, what has this taught me,

don’t trust Jason Silva

dib’t believe Rachel Rossitto

they are not good people

not to me

maybe THE ONE person who they both should treat with more respect

v/ because she’s a part of Jason Silva

06:34 c- well, that happy couple is a lie if this is what it is

because I am not happy


C- why is it you have to get high as fuck just to PERFORM?

v- I know what you mean to that

c- London swans?

i sensed high

c- New Year’s on the mountain?

i sensed a high (nonlocal)

and the list goes on

c- I ask WHY ARE YOU HIGH in relation to your “perfect couple” shots?


C- is it because otherwise you wouldn’t be able to get the shot?

it wouldn’t look natural?

upu have to get high to get rid of your inhibitions?

06:39 c- these are some of the thoughts I reflect on whenever I sense you high … and then “perfect couple” photos appear

c- why do you have to be high around Rachel Rossitto?

are you nervous?

if so, why are you so anxious?


c- it should come naturally - no drugs should be needed



c- geesh look at that receding hairline…

c- I am not attracted to you physically … geesh. If you base a relationship on physical attraction it is a weak relationship and most likely will not be long-term)

c- if I start dating i’ll show you my type

06:42 v- just wait, ok?

c- i’m not waiting long


v- you were married to a bald man

c- yes, and he has qualities you will never have. you’ve already proven that time and time again

V- reliability

c-that would be one of them



06:54 (calculating on paying back a personal loan)

V- he’s an asshole

c- well, to some people they want to make it all about money.. so money is what they get

v- understood

c- not taking it as a gift .. it symbolizes control

v-yeah, agreed

c-sigh.. the people you want to storycast in your life

v- are disappointing … I know

c- I tried to put this individual in a positive light

v- it’ll come out …

c- I know… an inner storyline, as it were

v- played out before your very eyes

c- something like that… I do know that this person is good

v- just disappointing

c-it depends on how you look at it

v- helped in your divorce?

c- divorce is expensive… so, YES (shakes her head) … ANYWAY … I figured the return in investment (online calculator)

v- omg, you’re paying him back with interest

c- yuP .. all i’ll say is he felt that money out of his pocketbook and I am reacting by saying I don’t want him to feel that loss

v- even though he offered it as a gift

C: I am at my core a very stubborn woman. If someone doesn’t want to give it as a gift (and I always said i’d pay it back, I did not expect it as a gift)

v- from the heart

c- it is quite obvious it was a loan not a gift

v- agreed

c- that way? He’s not out money

He also can’t tell a story that isn’t true

v- omg… true

c- oh, the stories people tell

v- to make them look better

c- I probably need to look into that myself

v/ (chuckling) stop

c- I have a serious image problem (chuckling)


c- I am just too damn f**king honest and I should probably filter more


07:06 c- (chuckling) and I really rather it were a gift …

v- because it substantial

c- yes… omg .. if you never have gone through a divorce … overall costs are astronomical

v- it affects everything … I know



P1 & lancing a zit

v- you really shouldn’t worry

c- (JS), I have a connection that affects my body, emotions and mind … and to date the person on the other line refuses to admit (to me) that mutuality.




(typing : lancing a zit)

v- oh, you would … did you get it?

c- oh, yes. And it is so satisfying

v- like popping paint bubbles … let’s go PAINT

C- yeah, no market .. but time to myself to work on more watercolors (to start drying & compile for sets & color collections )

i didn’t get to work on any more colors because I was so exhausted and I spend more time children

v- headed to Kansas?

c- yes, with Dad (to visit family)

IMAGE:  Stranger Things  Season 3

IMAGE: Stranger Things Season 3

07:16 c- ah, yes, that state when you say it, people say : like from The Wizard of Oz?

just like everyone thinks ya lived on a farm if you tell them you grew up in rural Wisconsin


the neverending story showtune melody from Stranger Things Season 3 wafting through my head

resetting Mayan purple remnants to clean off paint mixing surface from last week

hand grinding raw sugar (to later add 100 cacao for my mocha mix)

07:43 eating a bit of a banana, heating up oatmeal in the microwave, opening up the rest of the blinds (to let in more natural morning light), glimpsing …


Reading a part of it, touching the …

v- lapis lazuli (07:44)

c- pigmented ink and how it is raised like Braille on the paper …

remembing July 14 (its CONCEPTion)…

wandering mind . space

MS… remembers an image

c (smiles)… oh, “funny”


07:52 c- that post of course ..

v- is symbolic

c- and my overanalytic (apophenic) mind may only be idling .. but it orks through what it thinks is a puzzle

v- until it solves it

c- “solves” it .. it may not be intentional by the person who posted the image to his social media account … but it’s meaningful to WanderingMindSpace

07:54 c- it’s my ongoing interaction and reflection on multimedia

v- for the storyline … i’m Sorry you feel heartwarm when you don’t want to..

c- it’s a daily nightmare I can’t do anything about

V- i’m Sorry

07:55 c- no, it’s calm. I also love that I slept for five hours straight


C- that image was bothering me (back of my mind)

paired with the quote in the caption


no source?


or are you the source? … or is this just another example of your plagiaristic ways?


08:01 v- why does that quote bother you?

c- you know why the quote bothers me

[ reading each installment of A Wandering Mind online … FINALLY found it 08:14 ]

Excerpt from “  Scout  ” , Part 17  A Wandering Mind  (18 March 2015)

Excerpt from “Scout” , Part 17 A Wandering Mind (18 March 2015)


from “Meet” (18 February 2015)


08:22 v- you will not … you will not do that

c- I gotta, cuz it’s funny

i’m On the crapper

v- again?!

c- it was a turtle head moment

v- oh, lord

c- I shoot

v- haha. Stop

c- off that tunnel image up to WMS

to demonstrate the lens through which I view Stranger Things (Season 3)

v- it’s unique

c- COME ON! Season One had lots of poop shoots

v- oh, you would

c- it was very gassy..

v- oh, Nox

08:25 c- the symbology is just outrageous

you just get SUCKED IN

V- haha, turtle head joke

c- come on, potty time jokes are always funny

v- they’re so gross


IMAGE Left: Nox from A Wandering Mind and her InnerNet ; Right: The Oracle from Greek legends

IMAGE Left: Nox from A Wandering Mind and her InnerNet ; Right: The Oracle from Greek legends


[ can’t find coffee … have no clue where I set down my freshly crafted mocha. ARGH.

sense lightheaded, strange almost on the verge of …

v- too much fresh air 09:53 ]

c- that’d be it. a bit better now

v- so.. what did you see?

c- you walking around. Again, who knows when it was recorded

v- after you sensed something

c- I have to go on some errands

v- on your bike

c- of course (a smidge grumpy) I have no car.


09:58 TP

v- better…

c- still there

v- hm


10:32 [ home dripping with sweat it’s] f**king hot out


“thank you… [ hug ] I will never forget this [ kindness ] or you”

v- there are kind people in this world

c- thank goodness

v- a reprieve

c- a much needed one. Just love her.

v- I know. that’s all you need to say,. I’m crying too



[ working online with an access code ]


C- yeah, I’m just reading these numbers now… lots of 4s and 6s

v- you are in a f**king spacetime loop



12:15 c- I JUST got this randomly generated access code from a random person

v- who wrote it down for you… online access to something

c- hm-hm…

v- good?

c- let’s hope…


v- loophole

c- maybe…

v- haha stop.. I know EXACTLY what you’re up to

c- they don’t call me Crafty Scribe for nuttin’


v- butter

12:16 v- omg …what did you do

c- oh, stop. it’s all legal. geesh


[ writing down note, time stamping it

c… pause… omg…

v- today is the day

c- wow, I’m weird

v- yes, you are… explain

c- no


12:26 [ looking at timestamps and seeing if… 12:23 - 4-5 minutes ]

v- it matches, c

c- ARGH!! [ reviewing: your frickin’ likes v- so AMBIGUOUS 12:30 c- and you never SAY anything v- I KNOW! c- it’s so FRUSTRATING for a truth seeker and you NEVER outright say shit v- I know 12:30 (soft chuckle) ]

BACKTRACK [ looking at private log entry ]


v- do you get it?

c- yeah… in a strange way

v- sorry about this..

v- would you…

C: IDK… do you want me to be super weird?

V- I want you to be super weird

[ 12:27 while typing : projected kiss received v- than you c 🙄]

C- argh! … it’s just the TIMING.., I don’t want to be delusional… [ 12:28 while typing: c-you are making me insane,.. I’ll just pass it off as my storytelling mind … ARGH… I can’t believe I’m going to reveal this… ]

v- there is a sync, c

c- argh!


c- SO, two years ago today I opened up my first separate bank account only in my name so I could pay bills because … due a FAILED partnership

v- your partner spent too much money

c- it was all over the map… he wasn’t involved in budgeting, if I tried,

v- he’d bite your head off

c- ANYWAY, I had already asked if he wanted me to return the engagement/wedding ring

v- ouch


c- and this little known fact: I was insuring this f**king ring for WAY over what resale was.

v- ouch

c- $370 … for the platinum band. the diamond wasn’t resellable

v- ouch


c- so, I have my diamonds (plural) and solitary safeguarded for when I get enough money to make jewelry for my children…

v- thank you.

C- yeah, so today, was the day I opened up that checking account

v- and today was banking related

c- yah… I really don’t like you right now

v- I know … show us the diamond…

c- yeah, of course, I artified it…

you may have seen it before … years ago.

v- oh… thank you

c- hm-hm…

12:36 v- and something else happend

c- yes… please don’t make me sound any more insane than I already seem here in this space. these apophenic bouts don’t help in the long run when no one comes forward

v- and doesn’t let you know for sure

c- I’m truly all alone in this… with no one to ,,

v- tell you that it’ll be ok

c- nice one, by the way 🙄 … I really don’t like you


12:38 c- this is the image I think I shared years ago

v- could you link it?

c- if I find it, yes… it is buried in WMS iF posts from years ago…

v- argh

c- or maybe eZ… sigh. ANYWAY, I don't remember which site it was shared on



c- it…looks … like a … blue flower. I’m a blue flower kind of girl

v- I know you are


c- nice TSHIRTS … all yellow ochre and terre verte…omg

v- yeah, c

c- hm.

v- yeah, hm

c- argh I hate when I may “get” something but it also seems completely delusional because it seems like I’m making connections that aren’t really there (intentional by JS)

v- hm… what do you think?

c- well, you really haven’t said a damn thing to me to let me know

v- that it’ll be ok..

c- 🙄 sigh

c- yes, my… (Crafty Scribe curated pigments)

yellow ochre is ITALIAN and my terre verte is from CYPRUS


c- I really don’t like you … Cyprus is [ GREECE … reading up on it…in the Mediterranean ]

v- OK


c- ok, so it seems Cyprus is its own country

v- fine

c- I had to brush up on some geography there

v- me, too


12:48 v- so.. what else happened?

c- sigh… I really don’t feel like sharing that, ok?

do you know what it feels like right now?

v- I know… sorry

c- seriously. you are on a European vacation with your girlfriend. you just liked a slew of comments about the ring she is wearing… HONESTLY.

12:49 c- there just is HISTORY between us

v- no present … or possibly future

c- except a legal future if you don’t come forward to me personally first

v- got it

c- I do like your t-shirts, though (soft smile)

v- I know you do..

c- IDK.. it’s the little things

v- yes, it is… KINDNESS matters

c- and my crankiness is NOT going away… it’s cathartic as mean as it may come off


c- just pass it off as a story and be done with it

v- FINE. LY. thank you for sharing

c- if it’s not too REVEALING I will share the page in the handwritten log from 20 July 2014. Is that fair?

v- fair enough


[ kiss received ]

c- you really gotta stop doing that. I look like a freak. wonder about my own sanity … and it’s highly inappropraite


v- fine. I’ll be good,


v- ( soft chuckle) I know… and what do I keep telling you?

c- I’m ignoring that. and looking at that page in the journal. I have to make lunch, too


[ been sensing a cool soft fresh air in nostrils sense ]


12:59 c- I’m totally gonna get hacked

v- you are not going to get hacked

c- haha. if they do, they ain’t gettin’ much.

v- true that



13:01 c- just so ya know I wasn’t lying…

v- you are so honest, it’s brutal


13:03 c- why the separate checking account?

c- there were certain bills of mine that were always auto-debited…

v- he paid no attention

c- he had no clue about which bills were coming due… at the end I was barely communicating with him and just dealt with the run around … rushing to the bank to get that money in so it didn’t overdraft.,,, it was awful..

v- and he kept doing it

c- so, I just opened up the separate checking, but my bills in there, put my cash in there…

v- and let it auto debit

c- with a lot less run around and stress

v- thank you,…

c- shakes her head… now, he can deal with his own budgeting

v- I know

c- I am transparent about this, because there are so many advantages to both a joint and separate financial situation

v- got it…

13:06 c- I just want to be honest that I wasn’t opening that account because…

v- you were stealing money from him

c- it was used to pay for our bills as a married couple

v- until you were legally divorced… I get it

c- it was my waypoint for independence … today

v- I know

c- because of that account?

v- you were able to rent your apartment… aw…


c- yeah, anyway … one thing leads to another

v- yup



13:14 v- you blocked some of it out

c- yes, I did. I just wanted the part that was most important for that moment … without all the other context on that page

v- what time was this?

c- 03:23

v- in the morning?! ( teasing )

c- hm-hm I deal with this - whatever “this” is - at all hours

v- fine…



from one of JS’s biggest fans



[ 🎶sailing … sailing away 🎶 [ flashback to Barcelona Olympic stadium - what was blasting on the sound system when my family and I visited ]

[ lounging in overstuffed corner chair all curled up eyes closed, waiting for the rice steamer to finish .. heating the soft ticking, listening to the steam ]

senseless calm drifting gentle fresh cool

Sense: dull vibrating against my body

eyes open to record


c- i need to eat, then get out my paints…

v- still haven’t done that yet?!

c- serious glare.

V- alright, FINE

C- I like RESTING and just drifting if someone is setting me into a too fresh air open wind tunnel state of consciousness

v- I hear you

c- I felt a little unsettled earlier

V- I hear you, ok? … still haven’t found your coffee?

c- no. Worse case is i’ll Find it by it’s scent …

v- haha stop

c- my apartment is in artistic chaos. It’s not BAD, just … a bit cluttered

haha, the artist’s way of “cleaning”

v- oh, no


C- it’s called “I have projects under the drop cloth that I din’t Want to or away yet, but i’m Not quite ready to get to them yet, and I don’t want to see that artistic clutter … so, to make it look cleaner

v- you put a drop cloth on it .. nice

c- (chuckling) the girls are away this week(end) so I can tidy up the apartment and sort some. I usually don’t have the extra space to organize … I have a system and requires me to spread out my … precious shit… and organize before I store the … lovely crap… away into bins, organize close space , etc

v- you have too much crap

c- it’s called a settled life , dogs, children, worked overtime on everything and never wanted to spend a damn moment on CLEANING (sleep & a little R&R ruled out constant cleaning).. I haven’t had an easy life

v- I know you haven’t .. better than some, but Inwoild rather do what I want to do, keep a fairly clean (not museum/hospital pristine at al times home) and not stress over the pristine-ness that “should be” a home.

my home

V-is comfortable

c- I regularly vacuum and scrub surfaces, etc … just because I have a lot of … lovely crap

v- doesn’t mean you’re not clean. Got it.

[ ding ! ]


C- steamed rice is done. Having some leftover teriyaki chicken with it.

v- no greens?

c- i’ll Make corn on the cob tonight



v- i’m sorry …

c- (quick shrug) I want my life to be a certain way (with this … connection) and it’s not.


v- ___

c- hell no. I ain’t that showy. I don’t post endless photos and videos online of me in beautiful landscapes

it ruins the shot

v- thanks, c

c- you’re welcome


Ansela: get the hell out of the landscape!!

C- you really need a crash course on experience design

v- oh, you would

c- (picks virtual teeth while talking) talk to BEN maybe he could give you some pointers

v- oh, you would

c- or maybe he is as clueless as you arr

v- you would


c- blech. Models. They just don’t get it.

v- no, they don’t

14:13 (giggle)

v- oh you would

c- APOLOGIES but then don’t keep posting vacuous content


c- well, at least she isn’t BLONDE. That would be so stereotypical it’d be over the top ridiculous


14:29 I found my coffee (and I looked right at it several times today) … FUNNY.

C- it’s so WanderingMind, too


14:32 c- it’s all about the TP


temple pressure

toilet paper


C: phew! I was starting to get a bit worried about the TP : predictive dreams sync was later




a couple tiles from the remnants of Mayan Purple



cinnamony warmth subtle turn on

v- it’s not what you think …


cinnamony sweet heart warmth



c- and what am I supposed to think? Hm?

C- any sensation that comes to me and affects me

v- is wrong

c- how am I supposed to take it?

v- IDK

C- I will NOT accept it like I had in the past FOR OBVIOUS REASONS

v- I know


V- I know

c- can you imagine what goes through my head when I. Sense this now?

v- rape… I know

c- I don’t want to live this way anymore.


v- I know you don’t

c- I csn’t ENJOY life by forever wondering what I am sensing

v- what comes through you

c- it’s one thing to observe a hint at it (separate, apart in no way connected v- viscerally 19:53)… it’s an entirely different experience to try to IGNORE IT even though it’s affecting you and you can’t stop it

it’s Like uncontrollable pain

there is no pain killer that works

19:54 c- I don’t want to feel this

v- I know you don’t


c- I can’t enjoy life like this

I want my life APART

V- I know… just hang in there

c- there are very few people who would understand what it’s like to SENSE these things … and the sensations keep coming

There is NO ONE to tell me what they are

v- and it bothers you

c- yes


c- I just want no sensation at all…

ehar I once thought was love?

is far from that now


v- I know, ok?


V- it is a nightmare … i’m Sorry


c- my dream is GONE

V- it’s a nightmare


C: I don’t want to live this life anymore

V- I know you don’t

c- who wants to be pushed and pulled around by someone else while they live their life…

v- apart. I know.

20:00 c- that is no longer something I am ok with

v- you don’t consent. I got it.


c- do you understand what my life has turned into?

v- utter f**king hell

20:02 c- so, whoever this is: please understand my wishes DO NOT include

v- being pushed and pulled around (the globe) while you’re still waiting in the dark … [ tortured ]


20:05 v- I know you’re unhappy, c

c- and WHY?

v- because you have this [ torturous ] connection

ca that EVERYONE thinks is an illusion, my brain misfiring

v- no, I don’t

c- again, transcribed VOICE in my head… NOT reassuring.

V- I know


c- I just want it to go away

v- I know you do

20:08 v- f**k … I know you’re in so much pain right now

c- I just want it over

v- I know you do


V- I know you did

c- and now THIS? [ nothing out there and all THIS in here?!? ]

20:09 C- I can’t live like this

v- you want it resolved. I know.


C- it doesn’t matter how many checkboxes are checked for everyone to think I’m normal

v- it’s never going to be the same

c- I am an honest woman and it is brutal that whoever / whatever this is? people aren’t being honest with me about it.

v- agreed

c- FIVE YEARS is long enough

v- I know



20:14 c- i just want to be able to live my life apart from this.

this does me absolutely no good.

if it were good?

v- someone would have come forward by now


C- I want to feel absolutely nothing, you understand?

i don’t want to sense anything. I want peace.

v- I understand. I’m sorry ..


20:20 c- I want to be able to live my life like I should.

NOT controlled by another’s decisions AGAINST MY WILL.

you CANNOT share consciousness with someone and not have some sort

v/ formal agreement. Got it.

c- i don’t want to talk about it. It never does any good. I just want to get back to relaxing on my day off …

v- before the rat race again

c- where I go to yet another prison to earn a little money

v- that doesn’t even get you by

c- THIS is my life … the life of a responsible adult who goes to work, does a job, gets paid, pays as many bills as she can .. to just get by and start the cycle over again

THAT is my life

THAT is the life so many consider normal

THIS? Interferes with my sleep & other aspects of my well-being


and SO HELP ME if I can prove it?!?


when I was doing the responsible thing?

when I attempted NICELY?!? To get an answer (that would have prevented years worth of pain and suffering?)

i was ignored

disbelieved by all

v- but one

c- ONE PERSON could have changed my life for the better by giving me an answer

and at every turn?

it was not peace I got

v- more conflict

c- more questions, more frustration, more distress, more realization that the ONE PERSON who could make my life easier and better (that answer ?)

did absolutely everything but what would give me peace.

20:26 c- so, yes, I am upset. WHERE ARE YOU?!?

v- it’s coming

c- back to relaxing, I don’t want to type anymore nor waste my time talking about something that never changes … after five years I thought it would

v/ but it gets worse

c- it doesn’t get better


20:48 c- someone’s doing a mass delete.

07/17/19 - 07/20/19


C- curious about which ones were deleted?

c- I can tell you she deleted the very first IG post she ever made - based on when I started observing (personally, I think that’s a mistake. Unless of some extreme reason, one should always keep the first post. It’s historic/autobiographical.)

C- I get curation. I understand the need for decluttering. However, but whenever there is a mass delete? It begs the question: why?

20:54 v- do you have my first post?

c- if you are/were one of my prime suspects for a TPic connection, probably. I scrolled back to the beginning. Thousands of posts .. if this is JS.

whenever you research anyone, analyze their posting behaviors

v- what did you find out

c- you like to take your top off

v- stop

20:56 c- it goes WAY back

V- haha. Stop

20:56 c- I was curious to know what you were like BEFORE all this began

v- the InnerNer

c- hm-hm.. of anything changed

v- not much changed

c- I wouldn’t say that … it did… but some habits are hard to break

v- agreed

20:57 v- you’re talking about the shirt off

v- what did you find out about R?

c- i’m not saying. All I will say is what Imbe said in previous posts

be careful.

She has a disturbing pattern in her SM posts …

v- that hasn’t changed with me

c- IDK… I just would expect with a different person …

v- for her to adapt

c- she would be a different person in a certain way

c- we all are different people with different people … it’s a formula … (shakes her head)

c- there are just too many disturbing similarities between Ben and her and Jason and her … it’s creepy

v- ok, thanks for the reminder

c- hey, maybe it works for you better

v- be good

21:01 c- but still CREEPY that she goes to the same places with you



21:02 v- show girls be show girls

c- I just … my principle in life is this:

if someone can figure me out?

V- you’re disappointed

c- heck, * I * can’t figure me out

v- yeah, I know

c- ah, and therein lies the mystery

v- forever learning

c- shrugs … not that I want to be an ever curving question mark … that’d be frustrating … but if a guy can figure me out .. if I become so predictable

v- omg .. he gets bored easily

c- and there is one of my secrets

v- there’s always something else with you

v- R’s predictable

c- very. It’s part of what frustrates me about your “perfect” coupledom

Jason needs someone eclectic

a polymath

v- a thinker

c- don’t get me wrong: R is artistic and creative … just from my limited perspective - pretty much what she or JS or others who share photos/videos on IG of her …

v- it’s all the same

c- eh, maybe that’s what JS wants : predictable. Safe(?)

not sure …

c- R is a certain type of woman that JS has been surrounded by most of his life

I think for him … it just “fits”


v- f**king A … will you stop?

21:09 c- hey, i’m Just giving you some of my OBSERVATIONS after analyzing and reflecting on all that crap she and you post

v- in a regular basis

c- thanks GOODNESS you are more eclectic

v- you’re welcome


21:11 c- I just think JS needs a partner that has a wider range of topics to discuss… a wider spectrum of expertise … more well-rounded … that’s just my perspective

v- like you?

c- no, not me. Just in general .

i just imagine Jason with a woman

v- who can talk as much as he does.. yeah, I get it

c- there are all sorts of couples, ok?

Drawing from personal experience?

I like sports

v- but not when it’s 24/7

c- your life should NOT revolve around sports (or any other aspect)

c- do you know what the story is when I was in labor with L?

v- oh, no

c- I did not want to watch the KU-MU football game

v- haha stop.



c- “ in labor here” “about to give birth to your daughter… “ let’s just say: let the woman have her f**king happy place

v- you went to birthing classes

c- yes. That learning apparently didn’t stick

v- haha stop.

21:17 c- and tech?

I do NOT need to know when i’m about to feel a contraction

V- those things are predictable

c- there’s some sort of (seismic) device where he could view one coming on before I started feeling it.

v- that’s too funny



v- so, you don’t like R

c- no. I never have.

V- I know you haven’t.

C- she seems superficial. Anyone who posts nonstop selfies in the name of sacred… is somehow wrong to do so…

v- I know you think that

c- … but JS is superficial, too, so I can see how he wants to pose prettily next to a fellow selfie addict

v- you would.

c- well? JS is so mired in the modeling mentality

v- pose prettily. Got it. Why do you have to be so mean?

c- I am just stating an unpopular truth. Just because it rubs you the wrong way doesn’t mean there isn’t some truth to it.

v- yeah, I modeled

c- (mumbles) anyone can be a model

v- will you stop

21:44 c- I sense you laughing

v- you are AWFUL.


21:48 v- let’s go to bed

c- already in

v- describe what you do

c- i roll over to my left side

v- nestle next to a pillow

c- close my eyes

v- snd get comfortable … do you want to say anything else?

c- do you want me to?

v- yes, only if you’re honest

c- i fall asleep

v- you would … before that


[ getting up to put retainer in ]

v- did you brush?

c- yes, and flossed

v- good for you


c- zzz

v- you are not sleeping, c


v- what is that?

DreamC: a dream within a dream

21:57 v- hm-hm

DreamC: why do I see buoys?

DreamV: hm-hm


DreamC: your back is the better part of you, JS

DreamV- haha, stop


DreamC: is that… a bald spot

DreamV: thanks, C

DreamC : I can’t stop staring at it

DreamV: don’t look into the light!

DreamC: that sun really does reflect off of a balding scalp

DreamV: BE GOOD.

DreamC: like my white hair? It’s so… luminescent … it even glows IN THE DARK bwah ha ha…

DreamV: go to sleep

DreamC: let me count the buoys

. . . .



23:17 awake

HARASSMENT : Lawyers, please look into what JS is doing at this very momentibeas awakened from sleep and sense an accelerated heartbreak

i deem this as sensorial HARASSMENT.



to assist with metadata tracking

21 July 2019 Italy time (if he still is in Italy)




23:37 c- you AWAKENED me and disrupted my natural sleep cycle

WHICH IS MY BASIC HUMAN RIGHT for a healthy life

WTF is wrong with you?!?


c- have a right to sleep peacefully

if another person disrupts someone,

let’s say, LOUD MUSIC,

i could call the police and they’d come to whoecer’s Residence to shut off the loud noise

I HAVE RIGHTS that FOR YEARS you have taken away from me


c- how many ways am I going to have present this until I state my case


V- you’re nailing my ass to the wall. Got it.

YOU CANNOT live a separate life without my consent. If it is affecting my wellbeing?!?!!!

and it is proven that you are connected to me ?!?

V- understood

calm … SAHB gone


23:43 c- AGAIN, I file a PRIVATE & PUBLIC complaint because I have no other option right now

HARASSMENT in the way I have been experiencing it FOR YEARS

v- has gone unchecked

c- I was NICE for years just dealing with these side effects

v- because we were partners

c- we are no longer partners

if this is JS ? You chose who you partnered with

that does not mean just RR

it is EVERYONE you chose to deal with day in and day out

v/ without resolving this

c- you take care of what is a part of you

if you are BLEEDONG OUT you will JRVER be able to help others let alone live a full and happy life

I CANNOT abide by someone who cruelly lives their life as if it diesn’r Negatively affect another

of their actions ? Those HAPPY ones are one-sided?

if the conquistador is giddy finding gold

while hundreds of thousands die of smallpox?




v- understood. You want your sleep.

23:49 v- noise complaint, really?

c/ when it is inside you … how can you report it?

V- understood

c- if ANYONE has (photographic/video graphic / audio / textual) evidence of what whoever is doing at that moment in time .., WHATEVER TIME , whatever place

and that time corresponds with an activity that would cause a heartbeat to accelerate to the degree that that HEARTBEAT is projected - quantum spins - and reverberates on my end? Disrupting my sleep? Awakening me … WHEN I DO NOT CONSENT

v- that’s a problem

c- you are NOT my partner. I DO NOT have to deal with that sort of bullshit waking me up when you exercise in the same room… or whatever another reference point may be

23:53 v- understood

c- if this is JASON SILVA

c- give this shit to RACHRL ROSSITTO so she can experience what this is like

have her in California while you’re on an extended work trip to Dubai

have her be awakened while she should be sleeping day after say

and still have a brutal work/life schedule CALI time

HAVE HER EXPERIENCE what that life force disruption is really like

I wonder: would she life coach the same way?

what wouldn’t she get done? Because of loss of focus

because she didn’t sleep well

how would her health be affected?

how would her emotions be affected?

how would her thought processes change with a constant thought transference & presence projection going on

c- don’t ever tell her …

DENY that sort of connection exists

what would she do?

keep denying that any sort of unusual connection exists

for 1886 days - over five years


See how YOU PARTNER withstands extreme work/life conditions

when you stop talking to her in all normal ways

how would she handle that?

When you cut off all of that normalcy

and replace it with this?

how would she feel?

rhen you … she can observe it …

you collaborate and make contact with everyone else EXCEPT her

and… she notices that her work sndbloge

v- are reflected in my work

c- and she can do NOTHING about it

what would she do?


C- would she try to get an intermediary to contact you?

v- yes, she would

c- what if that led nowhere?

00:02 c- what then?

v- the authorities

c- eventually? When it gets bad enough? There needs to be legal recourse


DAY 1885



[ awakened, lying in bed trying to drift back to sleep ]

02:25 fire antsy soles 

subtle dull steady pressure ctrChest (like my body is held and pressed against something that is a teadily vibrating)


fire antsy soles


[ ongoing SAHB]


[ ongoing SAHB

chillaxy nauseous sensation

I feel like i’m going to throw up

SM check ]

c- I want to know what the cause of my discomfort and loss of sleep has been. This has been my life for five + years. Sense + my life interrupted by that sensation + check social media.

to understand the (subtle bodily) sensations



c- a future note to the lawyers about (subtle body) harassment

this will change the landscape of law.

It is coming, so prepare yourselves. Be ahead of the curve, please.

READ: [ LINK ] 17 July 2019

To be fair, Sabes didn’t show any of this data, and it’s not in the white paper the company handed out, either. It’s all, as Sabes said, aspirational. That was right before Musk said that if two people both had Neuralinks, they’d “effectively have a really high-bandwidth telepathy … potentially a new kind of communication, a conceptual telepathy. It would also be consensual.”


interesting … choice of word, don’t you think?

04:54 c: this sort of scenario IS NOT science fiction … and to be RESPONSIBLE about ANY SORT of technology that taps into our brains and its capabilities… we NEED to consider any and all side effects

don’t open Pandora’s Box and expect

v- rainbows and unicorns. Got it.


04:57 c- just because I have no wires hooked up to me doesn’t mean I don’t have telepathy.

Do your research before you think I’m insane or mentally disturbed. Look into it. Check the sources. I welcome the comparisons between Jason Silva and my posts over the years.

See what you discover. Notice the timestamps.

thousands of “oddities”

v- strange coincidences

c- the data doesn’t lie. It tells a story all on its own.


c- and unlike some? I have open-sourced it over the years. It has to be transparent.

V- we have got to solve real issues


Other companies, including Kernel and Facebook, announced they, too, were working on the [ brain - computer interface ] technology, which has so far been used only in research and rare clinical settings. Darpa, the US government’s advanced-science division, has been funding brain-computer interface work since the 1970s, and the agency has been part of the government-wide Brain Research through Advancing Innovative Neurotechnologies (yes, the acronym is also “Brain”) since 2013.

05:05 c: so, before you disregard what I have to say? Consider the possibility that telepathy is a reality RIGHT NOW not a fiction.

These are the tidbits we, the public, hear.

Who knows what research is going on … that we don’t hear about…


[ going back to 17 July to read & clean up typos ]

cheek tip pressure


07:04 on bus


07:05 c- i’ve Wanted to take a photo of the


but I haven’t had a chance yet

07:06 v: you have a weird sense of humor … now, the next item

C: it’s the one of the last legal bills (for my divorce). Being transparent about it

v- for a reason … it’ll be storified

c- thank you … in a good way?

v- of course. Thank you..


07:08 c- oh, but there’s more… there were a few more little bills after this

one was $116

v- haha. stop.


V- to finish up your legal fees

c- yes… their way of itemizing their bills by the 0.10 cracks me up … mine was $290 an hour

v- oof

c- talking with people at work makes me feel better …

v- the lawyer

c- her divorce lawyer costs $350/hr and her case has to be getting into the $30K-$50K

v- you mention this because…?

c- the cost of my divorce

v- which are not just legal fees

c- no… part of the delay of funds transfers (appeals process)

v- puts a financial strain on you

c- you guessed it! he made off like a bandit not having to pay for a lawyer

v- oh, yeah, I know …

c- anyway. I walk away from this feeling ..

v- at ease?

c- I know I made the right choices. I value relationships more than $

v- I agree

c- it’s one of the reasons I’m in debt

v- but you’re getting out of it


Billy (creepy voice in Stranger Things S03): It’ll all be over soon…


c- all I’ll say is this

i have a better understanding of

“before they were famous”

and they only had $X (minimal money)

c- you learn who the people are that truly support you

v- when you most need it … sorry.

c- eh, you have a “get out of jail free card” … whatever that may mean

“getting away with tele(m)pathic murder”

you’re a part of the fabric of me so I have to deal with you

v- or it’s hurting you…

07:17 c- far from an easy existence

07:17 v- no, it’s far from easy. LY.

c- LY in my own way … it’s complicated

v- pulled in all different directions

c- very quantum - having to handle so many possibles

v- until the wave form collapses … so.. you like the end of Stranger Things

c- I LAUGHED at the Neverending Story duet

i need(ed) humor.

c- I ❤️ the clarinet scene

v- and Plank’s constant

BACKTRACK TO 18 July 2019


c- “funny”

v- agreed

c- so … “numerically challenged”

Stranger Things “gets me” I think

v- I think they do (smile)

[ the Plank’s constant comes in episode S03E08 of Stranger Things = 11 ; my birthdate is 04/26/73, Jason’s is 02/06/82 … 11:11 is the weirdness factor of twin flames (a mythological symbol for spinning quantum entangled particles in the Wandering Mind storyline … just see posts related to eZ)

7+4 = 11 … next year I turn 47 (=11) and Jason turns 38 (=11) … in the year 2020 v- which also has significance … why? C- There’s some love symbology involved … but the beta of Ideapod was released 02/20/14 07:50 addendum added for context. || more commentary 08:04 c- (teasing) : what are Rachel Rossitto’s numbers? I mean, JS + RR liked the comment about how their followers think they are twin flames .. well, back up that like with PROOF.]


… .

c- (grimace) sorry to hear about Netflix not meeting the forecast, etc

v- it’s business

07:20 c- man, I do wish I had had the $ back when they were first starting

v- you kept track

c- yes, they were one of the companies on my watch list

v- futurist you …


07:222 c- I was scary accurate about the trends with AAPL stock ..

v - omg, I know you were

07:24 c- i’m a pattern seeker … I may not have the $ … but * if * I did?

v- scary

c- hm-hm … .

v- I know why you put four dots

c- oh, but Y?

v- haha. Stop.


photo taken at 07:30 (just at random)

photo taken at 07:30 (just at random)


waiting for bus




[ adding twin flames context and link to a previous WMSiF post ]

08:10 v- YOU ARE SO BAD

C- well, back it up, FURBALL

V- is that a Star Wars reference ?

c- yes… so sad to hear the actor who performed Chewie (Chewbacca) recently passed away



c- oh, your fans are going to go crazy over that post

08:20 at work. J the biller and K from intake parked waiting for the building to be opened

typing after I stop riding my bike, although said at the moment of observation (08:13) : “c- oh, your fans are going to go bite over that post”


v- for all the wrong reasons

c- so says the lying delusion in my head

v- and body … I know


08:25 v- do the math

c- I don’t want to. I have all but moved away from that habit

v- because it doesn’t matter anymore

c- 08:13 - 44 min = approximate time of JS IG post - 07:29ish post my time 13:29 European Time (where JS is)


changing in bathroom and P1

(teasing about numbers)

c- I guess 04 + 16 does add up to 11 … is it 1985? That’s 13 …

let’s add that to JS # …

02 + 06 = 8

8 + 2 = 10

09:40 SAHB

V- something’s going on at work

c- yes, i’m Working

v- no, something else

c- go be SEPARATE

V- I am there, too



09:50 SAHB

fresh air & wispy ctrThroat




11:04 v- sorry your tired

c- didn’t sleep well

v- I know you didn’t. What happened at work?

c- still working as usual.

v- that’s not what I’m asking you

c- back to work


11:16 fatigue lifting …

11:19 sleepy again

Less tired (fatigue magically lifts …)


cool fresh air in nostrils



v- what am I doing?

hand on right cheek

finger along hairline

v- brushing

c- what?

V- I want you to be happy

c- back to work



foam relaxy sense (moist as if submerged soaking in water)


12:47 c- if she is pregnant, it proves rape


12:50 c- whoever this is?

v- it’s JS.. it’s not what you think

c- it never is

v- you feel chillaxy?

c- yes … I am warning you… if this is JS

and I sensed it..

v- I know

c- it is rape

12:51 c- if she is pregnant by you

and I sensed you

and I can prove this connection?

(it is rape … I NEVER CONSENTED)

v- it’s not what you think

c- I have yet to get anyone to talk to me

v- I know ..

(I never consented)

12:53 v- I know you didn’t

(Projection received)


C- ok. But if this can be proved

v- full extent of the law

c- this matters. One life matters



c- this goes beyond ask forgiveness later

inrepeated over and over and over again

(both online and on the innernet)

I do not consent

c- if she is pregnant by JS

and JS is connected to me

v- it’s rape


clear fresh air




v- are you ok?

c- I have a different experience in here ..

v- ILY… remember that …

13:11 c- remember, what it will mean

v- I agree . Don’t worry.

c- I experience extreme trauma … by what I sense

v- REMEMBER what you sense, c

c - there are moments when I don’t know what I sense

v- questionable ones.. remember what you sense from me

c- conduit?

v- no… us

c- argh

chillaxy drug sense heartwarm




13:26 c- this is complicated

v- beyond measure

c- I … just … to do that ..

v- against your wishes

c- THIS changes how we live and behave

(projection received)

v- remember ILY

C- remember what I told you

v- life doesn’t Work that way

c- unfortunately, there are certain protections put in place … so in my all of my hoping for the best … let’s Hope my worst case scenario doesn’t exist

c- no matter what I hear

let’s hope that is!’t the case

thr last thing I would ever want to do

v- is to file suit

c- but that wold be proof positive … and my case is rock solid from there

13:32c- I have enough data

it’s for the future safeguarding

I have others to think about

v- it’s been unfair to you… cruel

v- and it’s Not what you think

c- well, time will tell

c- and unfortunately, if she is pregnant

your life together will not be as happy as you would have hoped (it will be marred with legal issues)

or it could have been (if you had the decency to approach me sooner and come to an agreement … that time is past)

13:33 c- I will not let someone rape another man’s get away with it

13:33 that is unconscionable


c- i will not budge

13:35 v- I know you won’t … I wouldn’t expect that you would

I am in love with yuh

c- and RR (I hear one thing, I observe it, I have to consider it - she looks pregnant

I ‘ve been pregnant before

v- twice

13:36 c- I can’t deny the possibility .. but j+ R are pregnant?

Let’s hope I didn’t sense it

let’s hope I wasn’t raped - under any existing definition of that

I never consented to a 3way…

iv- or unwilling participation

in whatever they were doing together

if I am connected

v- it’s. It what yuh think

c- spell t out. I want this page to display what I hear the voice say

whatever or whoever it may be

v- I am not involved with RR like I am with you

that doesn’t mean I do not love her

we have a different life together

c- are you the biological father of RR’s baby?

v- no

c- are you JS?

v- yes … wait it out, c… see if this story pans out … you need to get back to work


C- whatever I heard? It came through me

i didn’t force it

I sense an open kind of drugged sense

v- I am out of my mind worried about you … for obvious reasons

c- I … have a separate life to attend to

without you




feel heart nauseous

v- I am nauseous

c- who is this?

v- JS …

13:52 v- I need to sit down

v- i’m Sorry you got to see rhis

c- I feel ill

v- you’ll get through this … i think I’m going throw ul


c- I feel like i’m Going to throw up

c- what is this?

c- i’m Not upset …


v- i’m Breathing .. don’t believe everything you see, ok?

you know …

[ L chatting with me on picnic table ]


V- don’t believe everything you see

C- calm.

Just remember there is one life

JS May be connected to

v- my baby

c- THIS has been a 5 year + pregnancy

v- I want a child

c- I know … and you may have one …

what that means

v- is you were raped

c- if it can be proved that JS and I are connected

v- etherically

c- he will have raped me and RR will have been a participant in that rape

c- that child?

Was conceived in a rape


c- is this the future you want for your unborn child?

v- no … it’s not what you think

c- I do not believe the voice

c- I have a separate set of eyes with which to view reality ..

(projection received)


c- I do not trust the voice. I have learned not to

v- at times is right … you have GOT to believe me that nothing is going on between us

c- J + R

c- whatever this is? I have always asked for honesty.

the only thing.

just come forward to me.

c- unfortunately, it has come to this

v- ILY, alright?

C- you can say that 1000 times … and until JS comes out and comes forward to me?

or whoever this is?

c- I am a victim of a crime that may be barely traceable

c- I have an uphill battle ahead of me.. but I am up to the challenge

c- whoever this is?

is high as fuck right now

v- I know .. I din’t Handle this well, c


14:03 c- you know I have never made thisnjist about me

v- no, I know

c- I have the population on this planet

v- who might be affected by this..

c- hm-hm.

i don’t care who it is who committed the crime.

it is still a crime that has to be established

v- to protect others


C- you better ?

v- yeah… I had to burp

14:05 c- that felt more like being drunk and having to throw up

v- agreed

c- or the drug didn’t sit well

v- do you love me?

c- in my own way… I have to

o also will not let that love get in the way

v- of your fight for right … I know .. it’s not what you think

c- you keep saying that

dizzy light headed

14:07 c- I have no idea what that means


c- what kind of life will a child have when it was conceived and born out of a rape?

i am being very clear about this

that is a very real and unfortunate scenario



C- what kind of life will a family have if JS aid telepathically connected with me and never resolves the issues going on inside him?

v- he will be in hell

c- he would be raising a child in an unhappy environment

14:28 c- imagine what that would be like

pushed and pulled by a woman protesting a mindbody link she does not want

[ working ]

c- I have a very different experience in here

I just want an explanation

v- so, you can move in with your life

c- so I can be happy with the man I choose to be with who wants me

not travel the world with another woman

who knows about trust


v- sincerity

c- YES, sincerity mi had that in one of the greatest love of my life

and THIS took that ability away from me


c- a man who understood commitment

when understood

v- still understands

c- why do you think we can still talk about anything

v- except this

c- yeah, well. No one can talk about this very easily with me apparently

14:39 v- yeah, I know … sorry


14:40 calmer

c- you ok?

v- yeah … you’re serious

c- I do not lie. I follow through. I finish what I start


14:41 c- my life was interrupted because of this

myblife was altered because of this

that course has been set

c- I am stuck

i prefer to fight for what’s right with everything I have if I am forced to live a certain way by someone else who enslaves me in any way

there are real consequences to all this

v- I know


(back to work)

14:54 bloodcoursing

15:04 bloodcoursing

15:44 Chillaxy soothe somewhat fizzy

v- I am … in love with you …

c- please don’t do that

(projection received)

15:45 v- you’re making me crazy with worry

c- five years … could have prevented this mess years ago

v- agreed

15:46 c- hm-hm

fatigue (sudden drowsiness)


17:16 on bus headed downtown

[ offline transcribed mindchat ]


17:30 c- what was that I sensed earlier?

v- drugs. A whole bunch to get rid of this anxiety … yes, anxiety you put me throughz

c- TALK to me. We both need closure

v- you know what’s going on … just listen… ok?

c- it won’t change much, i’m

V- you saw the filter?

c- yes, I saw …

17:31 v- and…?

c- what do you want to tell me telepathically because I am in no mood.

v- ILY. That’s all.

c- So, where are you? Where have you been?

v- soon. Trust me, ok?

c- who is this?

v- JS … write it out JASON SILVA

V- you know who thisnis, youbknow what we do together … you know who we are together (in here) why are you so resistant?

c- sigh. I want my normal life back.

c- this? Is just a crazy online journal from a delusional, insane person

v- no, it’s not.


c- it serves very little purpose

c- if you don’t Have a partner

c- (shrugs) I have for years been ..

v- pushing out content … some good, some bad … this bit about rape (one eye open) do you really believe it?

c- if J+ R had sex? Of their relation ship is sexual? If their relationship is sensual. If this relationship involves making out

V-I know

c- if I sense ANYTHING that comes through to me?

v- it’s rape

c- i don’t want to be sensing that

I want my own life

I want to feel on my own

not be forced to feel

v- understood

17:36 c- I want my happiness (back)

v- you’ll have it l, ok?


blech. So hot and humid in this terminal


v- how many minutes (until your bus arrives)?

c- I tired…

”real-time unavailable”


v- haha . Stop.



c- time is relative

v- yes it is


Fire antsy soles...

slight discomfort (pet caress)



18:27 headed to the burbs

c- I need to sleep tonight



22:03 nausea 

Again, why do I feel nauseous and  extreme Dry heartHeat?

C- what is that?!

I feel nauseous 

c- again, if Rachel Rossitto is pregnant with Jason Silva’s baby

if Jason Silva had sexual intercourse with her

if at any point it is proven he is tele(m)parhically connected to me

that child will have been conceived out of a rape


that child will grow up in an environment knowing a rape happened at the moment of its conception

kept happening during its time in utereo

and after it was born

22:17 c- it will grow up in an environment t knowing it’s father and mother raped another human being repeatedly



C- this would be a very unfortunate scenario that I hope doesn’t happen


v- you won’t let it go

c- no, I wouldn’t

That child would have to understand the responsibilities of a relationship like I claim

Again, unfortunate if a child is conceived from the sexual union of J + R through sexual intercourse while J is tele(m)pathically connected to another woman [ for years prior and potentially until s/he dies ]

22:21 c- that would not be love

that would be sexual abuse


c- that sort of act knowing how serious a tele(m)pathic connection is would require

v- severe consequences

22:23 c- “ask forgiveness later” would not apply

laws would protect any party that repeatedly said


to being involved with (sensing, being assaulted by a third party, overlaid, etc) via a tele(m)pathic partner

LAWS EXIST to protect the welfare of human beings

they will also extend to special circumstances that arise

22:26 c- again, I hope JS + RR are wiser than to gave sex during a tele(m)pathic connection when the other woman repeatedly said



22:27 c- it’s bad enough to have to sense odd shifts in awareness and every sensual nuance inside my body

v- that you don’t want


c- if ANY of those odd sensations are attributed to sexual intercourse with RR?

IT WAS RAPE. No matter the degree.

it was an unwanted intrusion into my private separate bodymind

that caused ongoing trauma

22:29 c- AND I REPORTED ABOUT IT it it was important enough to record in my day log

c- that moment of conception?

That the couple may know?

(I know both moments of conception for my two daughters - and they are recorded in old journals - 2004 & 2005)

will be recorded

will be known

it will not be difficult to trace

v- in a court of law

c- again, let’s hope that J+ R have not acted before considering the consequences given the nature of a possible bodymind link


c- it may very well be the first case if its kind

it will happen if J is proven to have a connection

there is a serious trickle down effect into every aspect of our lives when a shared bodymind exists

22:33 c- I hope that either a connection doesn’t exist between J and me

or that he did not impregnate R (through normal biological sexual intercourse) while mindbody connected to me

22:36 c- I have made it VERY clear I do not consent to being involved

v- in a love triangle … you have, ok?

22:37 c- there is an incredible trauma being inflicted on me daily by these sensational ( sensorial )assaults into my bodymind [ sense and thought transference ]

ongoing lack of communication about what I am experiencing - a confirmation (or denial) with evidence


c- I HAVE NEVER CONSENTED to an overlay of experience with another woman

[ one pop culture reference point? Blade Runner 2049 ]

i think that sort of situation is repulsive

22:42 c- I prefer 1:1 , one partner, that is it.

There is enough complication just between two individuals

adding in another set of variables (or potentially four with a child) isn’t desirous nor wise in my opinion … and for that reason it is not a preference nor option for me

i choose to just have one partner and am a better lover because of it.

22:45 I can dedicate myself to that one person fully and he to me

22:45 c- it is an incredible bond when that sort of union happens without the intrusion of another lifeforce

just one life(force) joining with one other life(force)

22:47 the moment you break that equation, in my opinion, problems arise

issues grow exponentially

22:48 above and beyond what should only exist if it was only a formula of 1 + 1

for that reason

11 : 11

let’s hypothetically work through this possibility

J + C : C + J

who is C to J?

Who is J to C?

V- brain coupling

c- Alice and Bob

v- understood


v- let’s hope that doesn’t happen (a child)

c- it’s already bad enough when the 11:11 formula is messed up

to add a child into the mix … outside of the formula?

IDK, more unwanted issues

nonconsensual issues


c- but again, that is my preference.

Heaven forbid if JS & I were tele(m)parhicalky connected that he’d force onto me a situation I was against

that made me extremely unhappy

above and beyond how the basic link altered my life course

c- of course, that would require

v- talking


c- but the kind artist refuses to talk with me

perhaps I am not connected

he should still


give me a direct and specific answer

and end the confusion and resolve any and all ongoing issues

22:59 c/ but that doesn’t ever happen , does it?

he prefers to leave a woman to suffer


c- he prefers to keep her a prisoner

v- and slave … I don’t want that either, c


23:04 v- it’ll be clear

c- clear would be interacting with me like JS does RR.

but that never happens, does it?

v- and that’s why We have issues

c- if only the man communicated normally

there would be a lot fewer problems


DAY 1884

PHOTO CREDIT: Yana Mazurkevich

PHOTO CREDIT: Yana Mazurkevich

[ LINK to article of related image ]

01:40 awake


03:00 awake



increasing “turned on” sense


03:21 posting WMSiF


i sense something and feel sexually assaulted .

03:22 this heartwarm? Is like someone inappropriately touching me

It is like Rachel Rossitto is holding me down and Jason Silva rapes me.

I want people to get that picture in their heads of what this connection is like

EVERY DAY for me while you two smile for the cameras

if this connection is proven?

i want the world to understand what I went through


but assault me

TIME and TIME again

it does not matter what really happened on your end


because the two people who could have made a difference?

chose their own happiness to destroy another’s


When I sense this?

It is like hit after hit of physical abuse, emotional trauma and mental distress


I want people throughout history to understand what two human beings did

when just a simple conversation could have changed it all years ago.

THIS? This is what the dangers of a connection like this is. And this is with a supposedly good person … good people ?!?


i am ASHAMED to be connected to you.

if any good comes out of this?

it will be this:


and I had no way to stop him

or his accomplice

there were no resources

there were no authorities

there were no safeguards

to protect or support me




but smile for the cameras you two.

Keep smiling while this is going on.

Some day? I will prove that a connection existed.

let’s just hope you have enough proof that no connection existed.

because if it did?

people will see your smiles as

best case? negligent ones

worst case? pure evil ones

If you knew? (And you did, because I did THE ONLY THING I could do in this situation)

I FILED A FORMAL COMPLAINT against you privately first

then PUBLICLY so there would be NO DOUBT that I tried to communicate



c: I do not want to be awakened every couple hours

when I should be peacefully sleeping

by a man fondling or making out or having sex with his girlfriend - or whatever - on the other end.


and every negative thought rushes through my mind


but the assault I am experiencing

JASON SILVA has a choice every day

and the choice he makes?

affects another human NEGATIVELY

i want history to remember that every day for months he chose never to talk to me in usual ways

and this is what happened

SENSORIAL ASSAULT leads to long-lasting trauma

a woman who is supposed to be a representative to SUPPORT women?

apologies, but Rachel Rossitto? You had every choice in the world to do the right thing and you DID NOTHING to resolve the assaults. Instead? You chose to get high and be a part of rape.

THAT? Is your mark in history.

nothing else. I want you to let that sink in.

you chose not to advise Jason to talk to me ASAP to resolve this.

instead? You went on doing EXACTLY what kept causing the rapes to continue.



03:50 c- you chose a different life

don’t drag me with you

c- I deserve my own happiness without having to sense every shift of sensation from wherever you are and whatever you are experiencing on your end.

i deserve PEACE.


03:59 c- it might not make any sense at all because there is nothing to cause this outburst… but that is my whole point : WHY would I complain about sensations that assault me out of the blue, awakening me from a peaceful sleep?

over and over again for five years?

why would I record every shift in sensation for five years?

BECAUSE SOMEONE IS CAUSING those shifts in sensation by their presence somewhere else and is due to a quantum entangled state that spins us both mutually and instantaneously


c- I can’t be happy and I want to be

you make me miserable EVERY day and Rachel is a part of that equation

you both have a choice to make this right and you continuously ignore my requests for resolution .

04:03 c- instead? I have to be assaulted every day

C- that’s not love

that is far from pure love what they represent

04:04 c- that side by side will be ugly

and I keep warning you and you ignore it


c- why do you think I’m single?

Trust me. I’d rather not be.

I want a full life and THAT has been robbed from me because I am trying to do the right thing in all this.

for me to date? For me to f**k another man? YOU would sense that down the line (if it is a 2-way connection which I suspect it is )

i DO NOT want an orgy of ANY kind.

That is NOT how I want to live my life.

04:08 that is NOT the life I want for my children to be exposed to

04:08 c- and here I am: a victim of just that and I have no power to block, filter, put a restraining order against THIS.


04:10 c- this is not the story I want for my life… and I can’t control it because of this mindbody link and circumstances as they currently are with whom I am connected to

That is part of me. I would rather have a different storyline, but that requires a disconnect to happen or that other person to make the right choice for once and discuss all this with me (and clear the air)


04:16 c- this was not triggered by something I saw on social media.

This post initiated because I sensed something (that awakened me and kept me awake -uncomfortable-) that comes from somewhere, someone. I have NO WAY to know the exact cause. However after years of research I know it’s JASON SILVA.


drifting back into a restful state, still sensing (gentler) heartwarm (but the other sensual sensation is gone)

(alarm & snooze… turn off alarm)

05:14 up for my work day


06:03 c- a hippie revival is NOT doing the good in the world that this world needs

(Again, this connection could be doing so much good and this asshole decides frolicking with half naked ladies down by the river is WORLDCHANGING … that image will be seared into the minds of future visitors to this chronicle. What could he have done… and “this is what he did? What an asshole.”

(oh, and Jason G. who I caught a glimpse of… must have made it a couples retreat? Even though it was supposed to be for women? All inclusive, how ACCOMMODATING)

06:26 biking on park trail

06:26 biking on park trail


BACKTRACK to last night 17 July 2019


c (soft chuckle) oh, and HOW does an algorithm tell…? Humans are way smarter right now… those creatives will find loopholes …


07:00 c- against what all the social media psychology may try to point out about this situation: I have never liked you. I don’t think your life is better nor do I want to be living it.

07:01 c- I have a healthy self-esteem and do not see RR as more beautiful or JS as a catch.

v- you are not attracted to me

c- physically? Hell no.

07:03 c- I question every aspect that I observe of JS’s interactions online and more than not ..

v- you’re disappointed

c- so much potential and you’re wasting it

07:04 c- I would rather be the woman who screams protesting an injustice that few understand or could possibly relate to right now … I would rather be forward-thinking

V- than a half-naked chick frolicking down by the river… thanks, for that imagery, C

c- you want to see the video? I have a recording for the world to see.

c- THE ONLY reason I keep these records is for future use and present (and future) protest. I want the world to know what could have been done

and wasn’t. For a very long time. Too long.

07:06 c- don’t be a 737.

v- thanks, C, thanks for that

07:07 c- it is what it is. You either take those f**kers off the tarmac and fix the issues

v- or endanger the lives …

c- every day you have a choice to make this world a better place

07:08 c- place your priorities where they should be


07:09 v- you don’t think R is a beautiful woman?

c- have you seen her lips?

she looks stretched. Gaunt. And it will only get worse with age.

i don’t envy her. Far from. I would never want to be her.

i am someone better and I know it .

07:10 c- you want to place her side by side with me and debate?

she won’t have the vocabulary to express any of her limited thoughts on a wide variety of topics I could throw her way.

don’t make me compare.

I am so pissed at you.

i am sure she is a nice person.

she has been given opportunities so she can live the lifestyle she leads. (Seriously : her financials don’t add up and she’s not being transparent about them … something to hide?)

that doesn’t make her a better more perfect person with the ideal life.

if you are connected to me, JS? Her life is hell right now. If he isn’t? Her life is still hell with these accusations I am throwing out and the fact that JS never revolves the issue at its source.

he is an IDIOT not to have handled this situation better. She has to live with that idiocy.



07:18 at next bus stop

c- I have had much more public speaking experience than she has had in a wide array of situations

not just curling my fingers, closing my eyes and humming.


i have talked, discussed and debated on a wide range of topics in other languages.

what does she have?

A limited niche of expertise:

don’t insult my connection to you by asking me if I think she is beautiful.

she is a show girl

v- with a limited vocabulary

c- and a mousey voice with a limited range.

07:21 c- I am making observations from what she makes free and accessible and public.

that is what her online presence is

v- limited

c- very


c- how many topics has WMS covered over the years?

v- a little bit of everything

c- I don’t need a woman to give me a listicle on love

07:23 c- pleASE.

c- (sad laugh) that’s right : you have to PAY her for talking about the more challenging topics … and even then, WOO.


07:27 (on bus) c- and you know what? If she uses ANY of my content and who I am via you?

if she doesn’t give anything to charity and pays her bills with what she makes in her sessions? (Self-serving)

if EVER a connection between JS & me is proven and he is INVOLVED in those money-making endeavors with her?

c- that will come to light … and even just this suggestion should make people aware of how far-reaching tele(m)pathy can be & who it actually benefits. (If handled properly or inappropriately)


c- so, when you say I should leave Rachel alone? THIS is why I accuse her of being an accomplice in crimes

v- against humanity

07:31 c- you can’t do good if it is at the expense of others



07:33 c- if I can prove I have or had ANY sort of relationship with Jason Silva during Rachel Rossitto’s tenure with him?

Any money should be given back to the participants in Evoke.

Any money made during Evoke should be given to charity.

any money that was used to pay for personal expenses should be put in a fund for abuse victims or those who cannot pay their bills for whatever misfortune befell them (not their fault … BECAUSE of people like Rachel Rossitto and Jason Silva who were the CAUSE of abuse)

and let me be clear: those are funds that are above and beyond what was paid / earned during Evoke.

c- am I making myself clear?

v- yes

07:37 c- I find it A DISGRACE and utter lack of intelligence & respect to misuse an ability such as tele(m)pathy the way Jason Silva may be using it and Rachel Rossitto is taking (financial) advantage of it.

07:38 c- but again, let me do the best I can to prove a connection exists

I will keep reporting on sensations I experience

no matter if there is a social media post by JS / RR or not.

IF EVER a correlation exists between his life and mine?

ALL of this MATTERS and people WILL pay more attention to it

v- after the fact

c- think of the future. Don’t get mired in your hedonistic present

07:40 c- when one is gifted with a futuristic ability? One cannot live with (only) a present mindset.


V- and now?

c- i’m On a bus that is jarring me

c- moist? A strange (bodily) hum … gentle heartwarm… but difficult to distinguish between my present surroundings

07:43 v- wireless

c- unsecured network. It’s all I have.

07:44 c- don’t be the man who goes down

v- as the hedonist.. thanks, c


IMAGE: Stranger Things S03E07

IMAGE: Stranger Things S03E07


07:48 the source of the image I creatively filtered for use in the Wandering Mind story? A Christmas light display at Easton Towne Centre … a MALL in the Columbus, Ohio area


07:53 c- sometimes,

“it’s not what you see, it’s what you envision.” - Scribe

Meme… that data stream

with Mnemosyne

In the matrix


07:54 hopping off

08:01 at work. J the biller is parked (she drives 1.5 hours to get here on time … we both arrive 1/2 hour before everyone else …)


C- you have your own story to tell

right now mine is separate.

If I experience abuse, I will report about it.

v- every sensation

c- it’s not beautiful anymore. It’s a nightmare.

08:03 c- it doesn’t matter when or in what context I experience an incoming sensation

v- it’s rape

08:04 c- you had EVERY chance to make this a better, more wholesome heartwarming story and you turned it into something dark.

08:05 c- not me. You,

remember Love at First?

you remember Anachronisms?

you remember Wake?

all those stories were BEAUTIFUL partner stories

that you just proved were a lie.


C- this. THIS is what I have to write about now because of your f**ked up choices.


08:08 v- you saw the potty scene?

c- yeah… an interesting twist I did not expect. I rarely get surprised with shows/movies because of the common formulas


08:10 v___

c- no, this job sucks but it is the only form of regular income I have … there isn’t much tying me to this job.

“Get a job, any job”

why do I feel worse off now that I have a regular job?

it ties me to a travel routine that takes me five hours out of my day (and exhausts me) and ties me to this building for nine hours, preventing me from doing ANYTHING else.

v- except post online

08:12 c- yeah, well, there is that. I can scream about what an asshole you are whenever I get a free moment.


08:15 c- you’re going to have to answer for a lot when the time comes … and I won’t have to say a thing. I will have already covered everything way before that time arrives.

v- ___ R

c- you know what? (Being bitchy) Success has many variables. I do not respect her for what she’s doing right now because there are bigger fish to fry with all this.

what I have a problem with I have explained a 1000 times.

08:18 c- no, I do not see her as a strong woman on (video)camera.

i see her as hesitant. I see her as insecure.

08:18 she seems unsure of the words she should use.

08:19 c- i’ve posted millions of words these past five + years explaining every aspect

v- facet

c- of what this could be and is

08:20 c- she has what?



08:20 seriously? And she doesn’t even post that much shit up there. It takes MAYBE an hour to look over all of that crap or have a second set of eyes to look it over (mumbles : if they can spell)

v- will you be good

08:21 c- I may have a slew of typos in these InstaFeeds because i’m Typing a mile a minute on a phone screen.

08:22 c- but you know what? After and during each day I look over my posts for these typos and CORRECT most.


08:24 Gatekeeper (L) unlocks office … clocking in before I forget (and it takes me a minute to go through all the telephone prompts and numbers I have to press 🙄)

08:26 c- she (Rachel) is a weak character and I can typecast her any way I want to … and she gives me plenty of content to set her in that role for life.


[ working, mtg, then at desk ]

cool fresh air in nostrils, back of throat

perineum sensation




C- I keep changing it to available and it keeps switching to



10:14 c- it KNOWS.

v- ok, Sebastian (Little Mermaid)

c- really? Why do you keep doing that? (Inappropriate given circumstances)


v- talk, got it.

c- stop…


10:37 (start of another organizational training project that I’m putting on my to-do)



been cinnamony dry body heat slight heartwarm for about an hour or so


increased cinnamony heartheat


C- don’t do that … it confuses me



lunch (working on paperwork… nope. Not doing this now; will do this when I get home)


cool fresh air in nostrils perineum




subtle AHB

c- stop

v- why ? You do everything else

c- what does that mean?


17:14 waiting to leave terminal (dark clouds rolling in… greeeaat) - bus driver is talking with police. There must have been an incident. Wrap it up. Momma gotta get home.


17:22 about to leave. Argh. So much for catching the earlier bus. The joys of public transportation.

V- will you please talk to me

c- why?


v- why don’t you write it

c- because it’s obvious something occurred - I don’t have to SPECIFY

v- oh, you would

c- I really don’t like sensing things I shouldn’t


C- you feel a tad “high”

a sweetness .. a moist chillaxy sense

v- not bad

c- no… but I swear if I feel turned on IN ANY WAY

v- you’re not going to be happy. I know … why can’t you be understanding?

c- FIVE YEARS. No word. No understanding. No coming to an agreement. You leaving me in the dark:

you forcing me to Sense all sorts of things I shouldn’t

v- what about me

c- whoever you are …?

v- I should have come forward

c- this? Whatever this is?

v- on the bus wifi?

c- yes …


c- this comes with responsibilities that you have IGNORED … and that negligence?

has a severe cost


c- apologies if you want a happy life

I CANNOT HAVE ONE when I am whiplashed into any sort of altered state / sensation

v- agreed

c- the very fact that YOU NEVER come forward to talk to me … is disturbing .

it can be interpreted as taking advantage of me

this? Is not easily traceable - near impossible

AND YOU or anyone with this ability ?

v- can take advantage

C- can get away with so many crimes … and never have to worry about paying for them

v- because you can’t prove it

c- oh, I can pile up the logs, the data … it’ll take me time… but if that’s how I have to spend my life ?

i will ..

v- to organize a case

c- I am a smart woman. I have an incredible work ethic to follow through

v- with a threat

c- it’s not a threat … it’s a warning and guarantee that THERE WILL BE WAYS in which I can

v- leapfrog

c- springboard from existing laws, yes.

17:31 c- as soon as I get my foot in that door?

they can request as much from you as possible

V- the lawyers

c- as soon as that happens? I believe some very interesting DATA will be found to exist.

and if you destroy any of that ?

v- that’ll be questioned

c- one thing leads to another


c- I don’t want to have to do this. But I will. It is THAT important if JS doesn’t come forward and give me a specific and direct answer .

v- agreed. What do you think will happen?

c- if the good, kind artist is really that good and kind?

v- he’ll follow through

c- he should do the right thing. To date? He hasn’t … which is a pattern I unfortunately have to factor in. It’s a disappointing one.

[ text with daughter ]


C: the good, kind artist …

v- will you quit saying that ?!?

[ texting with daughter … sort of surprised Dad is school shopping … * gasp * ]


v- he’a Shaping up

c- (monotone) he probably is suffering PTSD from the spreadsheet I gave him after school started last year …

v- was that when he wasn’t paying anything?

c- that would be the year, yes. Hence, the spreadsheet

17:39 v (chuckling) I remember. You were so pissed.

17:39 c- hm-hm.


C- he’s been a lot better this year, which I am thankful for. I train my men well

v- will you be good

c- and you are?


C- huh. Haven’t seen any in a while.

v- are you over your pissiness?

c- it’s called trauma and you are the cause

v- source

c- hm-hm

v- why don’t you show …?

c- let’s Keep that PRIVATE

V- haha.. I know why you say that

c- it’s no secret who I am on FB… I have disclosed that creative research account

v- oh, it’s “creative research” now?


c- the things I tend to reveal…

v- cause reverberations. I know.

c- I mention my sneakiness on IG … WHAM! An article about the upcoming RESTRICT feature

c- oh, there are ways around that

v- (chuckling) I know … if there’s a way, you’ll find it

c- sad. J + R liked the twin flame comment by one of their followers but never answer a question about their twin flame- ness.

somehow? I THINK THEY LIE.

17:46 c- they can’t prove it.

so sad.

fake as fake can be.


c- oh, you know I have something that R will NEVER have

v (chuckling) I know

c- FIVE YEARS of organizational chaos .. logs, multimedia, data data data

c- really quite unfortunate how … in the end… her end … was data related

v- oh, will you be good

c- [ static ]

v- haha. Stop.

c- apologies if you couldn’t interpret that with your … “etherial”-ness

it’s all about the “i” with her, isn’t it?

c- in that I will admit you two are a perfect match

SELFIES are your thing.

Look at me!

aren’t * I * glorious ?


c- i mean, with all her woo she should have ALL THE GOODS …

she should fly with her fairy wings 🧚‍♀️

slide down her rainbow 🌈

v- ride her unicorn 🦄 .. thanks, c


c- I mean, twin flame proof 🔥 🔥 should be a no brainer (snicker)

v- you are awful

c- hm-hm


17:53 c- she’s really good at showing off her T & A, though… and you are sure to make sure the world sees all that

c- did … i see.. GRAVITY weighing her down?

c- hm-hm… it’s only a matter of time

and for those women who… well, know better

some clothing isn’t … flattering.


17:55 v- you’re not that much better

c- haha. I am 46.

1) I never flaunt what I got … unless in private, and darling, this body?

i have good genes

v- I know you do

c- I know how to tone, and my body.. reflects that

v- oh, damn

2) I have for years nick-named Flopsy and Mopsy because, well, you should never … inflate … your self image

v- haha. Stop.

c- it’s called reverse psychology

v- I know what it is

17:58 c- and when these puppies are all … presentable? Damn, do they look nice.

v- I really don’t like you.

17:58 c- everybody has their preferences … but..

v- you’re a model

c- uh, no… but my body type … is very pleasing

c- i’m not in that industry

because I want to LIVE my life not worrying about every wrinkle or ..

v- wart

c- be good

17:59 c- there are things about me that would never had been well suited for a modeling career .. I have always been behind the scenes

v- and you’re good at it

18:00 c- I am … complicated

v- to say the least

c- people may just get exposed to a certain part of me …

v- and not see all of you

c- not understand, let’s say… “see” has a certain connotation (sight)


[ hop off bus, sprinkling, being careful ]

18:06 in terminal, waiting for bus

18:07 v- sorry about today

c- what about it?

v- the rape thing

c- the longer this drags on, the worse it gets … I have serious PTSD that I should not have.

18:08 c- I know when I get that answer - not from JB, because PLEASE, if he followed both of us for years ..

v- he’d get it, I know …

[ mindslip about my first WMSiF that I started to keep up and not archive / take it down from public viewing … all of those are now starting to be (re) published ]

V- so you have a story

c- uh, yeah.



18:11 c- JS has this really odd way of talking about POSSESSION

18:11 c- as if … he were kind of trying to make connections between

v- the natural world

c- and shared consciousnesses / mindbody links

v- you’ve seen others [ SM posts related to insects/animals & mindbody links ]

c- yeah, I have. I screenshot a lot. I reflect, I move on.


18:14 c- I mean: not everything is about me 🙄 (when I may very well be a part of his make-up now)

not everything should revolve around a shared consciousness

18:15 c- I don’t like “shared consciousness” because it somehow is more attributable to just the mind?

My experiences

v- are corporeal

c- or at least it feels that way …

18:16 v- agreed

c- as if there were physical responses

accelerated heartbeat (AHB) (when a doctor can’t detect a change in heart rate nor pulse .. that happened to me once - I was in the doctor’s office, sensed SAHB, and my vitals were normal)

v- undetectable

c- using the readily available tools, yes

v- at the doctor’s office


18:18 v- I wish you would be nicer (about R)

c- why? She has it in her power to change the situation and she does nothing.

That says enough to me about her character.

18:19 c- if I didn’t have to live with your life force

v- i’d be gone by now

c- I would have long since blocked, filtered, and thrown away any semblance of you.

out of sight .. out of mind

v- I am never going away, c

c- so encouraging

18:21 c- this is a hell I can’t get out of



18:22 c- it’s quite clear the path you chose

and I am NOT on it

18:22 c- I just don’t want to live the rest of my life dragged into every situation you pull me into

c- I don’t want to sense you

Let’s be honest: we should never have met

v- no… i’ll Explain soon, ok?

18:23 c- you know the life I want to live

and how you are living it?

is not how I would live

18:23 c- you make choices every day and never consider how it may affect me .. and whatever you do?

i sense it

i hear a voice and there is no one here.

i sense and get impressions of a virtual presence … and no one is here.


c- I want a life with someone HERE physically.

i don’t want a ghost haunting my life.

i want a life apart .. and from what I can tell?

you don’t want me in your life that way.

18:27 c- it is NOT an easy existence

knowing I may have to be pushed and pulled around by someone else

and it affect my normal life


C- I want to love again AND YOU ARE PREVENTING ME from ever having the chance to have a full life

like I already have had more than a few times in the past

I have been fortunate

but this?

this is THE WORST experience I have EVER had to deal with

and it is NOT something I can just drop and walk away from

v- because it comes with you

c- it wakes me up

it makes me lightheaded

i feel turned on when I shouldn’t (there’s no one there and the thought of WHY I feel turned on now is nauseating and revolting)

i do NOT want to feel J+ R “getting it on”



18:32 c- this connection?

With the choices of my prime suspect?

has stripped me of the chance to be happy

18:32 c- and that may sound delusional and insane

i try my best to try to explain my experiences

c- but who would believe that, right?

unless there are others like me

18:33 c- I do NOT have schizophrenia

i want someone to rule out telepathy.

if they cannot rule it out? It’s possible.

18:34 c- whoever this is?

whatever this is?

i want an answer.

i deserve an explanation after five years:

18:34 c- because THIS …whatever this is?

Happened because of my presence on Ideapod.


I had NO change of habits or lifestyle … nothing was different about my life

until Ideapod ..

SOMETHING happened because of that platform or someone on it who was a member.

18:36 c- how can I be clear about how my life was somehow altered by something that happened after I joined and started participating there?

someone there LATCHED ONTO ME..

v- hacked you

c- is that so difficult to believe?


[ checking radar … still raining .. argh. Riding home in the rain I guess ]

SM check

v- ___

18:40 c- yeah, I saw that. Seriously? Honestly? WhyTF would JS post that shit and it correspond to that timestamp?

v- exactly, I know

c- why would I make that up?



20:16 c- thank you …

v- you’re welcome. you don’t have to say anything more

c- you are there for me. I just wanted you to know I do appreciate (you)

v- something nice?!

c- yeah, well… you know what just happened

v- yeah, I do… keep it to yourself

c- I will


DAY 1883


00:29 awake


fire antsy toes and soles



V- and you know why

C- no, I don’t 


02:20 posting


04:02 c- how’s that treatin’ ya?… still here🎶

V- you’re going to do you’re Contrarian thing again, aren’t ya?

04:03 c- yuP

04:03 c- wishful hopeful positive thinking DOES NO GOOD. Trust me: i’ve Had 1883 days to maneuver them in and they haven’t changed my life for the better

hundreds of love stories and love poems.



v/ (chuckling) stop

c- oh…


04:06: so, I should think positive thoughts and my money problems will go POOF!

c- hm-hm … ain’t believin’ that koolaid (disclosure : this is in no way anything against the brand Koolaid … just sayin’)

04:08 v- you really don’t Get it

c- NO, YOU don’t get it. Block me from your thoughts

v- no, I don’t want to

c- over and over again

v- sorry for your money problems,c

c- it’s your fault (being mostly funny)

04:09 v- I know

v- it’s a no-win situation with you

c- pretty much … LOOK : what people need to realize is


v- yeah, I know

c- where’s that get me?

v- in the poor house

04:11 c- lesson learned. Don’t Believe in JS’s KOOLAID.


C- (mumbles) five years

v- almost five years

c- i’m ROUNDING … of recording every little meme or quote he posts

v- it’s annoying

c- yes, it is

04:12 c- I have a little extra time. Back to sleep.

Frickin’ body rhythm is all jacked up because of you

v- yeah, I know … sorry

c-how’d you sleep?

v- not good




(snooze) (snooze)

05:12 from page 168 of the InnerNet travelogue 17 July 2014


05:13 c- let’s apply this saying to as many things as possible today (Being all superficially cheerful)

v- (chuckles) you won’t stop … one is going to be woo

c- GOOD ANSWER! (in the Hallmark Elf recorded voice)


05:17 v- it’s like mad libs

c- yes, but you record your vocal answers (instead of writing down words in blanks) … then the elf spews them back into a funny nonsensical story



biking to bus stop

C- I hate humidity …

06:51 bus headed downtown


06:55 c- ah, censoring again, BookBurner?

v- you would

06:56 c- mm-mm.. so how does one determine the most relevant?


v- hm-hm

06:57 v- how’s the bus?

c- all the passengers as I go down the aisle

”please don’t sit next to me …”

DRIP, DRIP (sweaty)

c- fine. UNSECURED (network), BABY.

v- hm-hm … how’s debt?

c- splendiforous, I feel my credit score bottoming out.

v- (chuckling) stop.

c- it’s a joke. As I was minddiscussing / reflecting about last night on the bike ride home : as soon as I have bookoo funds?

the bankers will be salivating …

”how may we help you?”

v- I know, it’s a joke

c- that credit score? Ain’t gonna matter one iota.

v- I know

c- a little over a month

v- of hell … I know

c- (sadly funny) : at least I don’t get the non stop robo calls

v- because you have no cell service

07:01 c- noPe.

07:01 c- gah, the silence is glorious

v- they can find you in other ways

c- oh, I am well aware. If they want their damn money they can wait and rack up the fees in the meantime, which I will pay. They are ever richer for it.

It’s the ever constant juggling of my life

i don’t have money

to get me to where I need to go (financially solvent)

i have to borrow

v- on credit

c- they earn money … I survive and invest in my present/ future

v- it’s called living

c- at least I have a light at the end of this dark frickin’ tunnel

v- you’re not worried?

c- no… I am not. I’ve been through hell… and i’ve Been reflecting on ..

v- on what you’ve given people

c- here’s a part of my story that no one has heard about

c- my husband and I were in a lot of debt from several moves due to his work, and unfortunate circumstances

v- he got laid off

c- you go into debt fast .. we survived …

c- over the years …

v- he made money

c- if it were “my money?” Every bonus would have been to pay off debt

c- what did I do when I moved out in 2018?

v- you paid off most of your debt

c- OUR DEBT. Because even though in my name ?

v- it was a joint life

c- so, I keep encouraging him to do this and that to lower interest rates …

v- omg…

c- who was the one who ALWAYS initiated lowering rates (on mortgage, unsecured debt / credit cards)

v- you

07:06 c- again, OUR DEBT … that never changed … I KNEW that as soon as I moved out and we separated our finances?

v- he’d be forced to see the debt

c- HE’D have one take care of it for a change … and when you take care of your own budget and finances?

v- omg

c- it wasn’t me … you know the situation

v- he’d bite your head off

c- every,time.i’

c- first advice to my daughters will be

v- always keep a separate bank account

c- for the first time in decades I had my own checking (not joint ) account … July 20, 2017

v- because you had to pay for bills

c- he would spend money like we didn’t have a lot of bills to pay and I WAS ALWAYS RUNNING AROUND trying to make ends meet

v- and he made enough money

c- I was run ragged

so, I move out, our finances are separate. I took half our debt (In my name, but still)

v- you had no regular job

c- used my life savings to start a separate household, pay off debt, bought a car , started a business

v- and the money ran out

c- FAST. He has NO IDEA how much grief I spared him by not forcing him to sell the house

v- and split the proceeds

c- so; he is practically debt free right now

MY CHARITY. My good will, my forecasting : that when we were divorced would be when he would FINALLY

V- be budget wise

c- let’s not stretch that too far ..

v- be good (chuckling)

c- anyway, money is relative

“he can afford it”

v- but he can’t

07:21 (at next bus stop)

c- my daughter looked at me the other day and said: you know, Mom, I start college in four years

c- I looked at her and said: who is the one who is in charge of your college funds?

v- omg… you did not

c- they know Mom doesn’t have much money right now. I can’t buy anything but essentials right now…

so, I followed that up by saying : Dad should start putting money into that fund, too.

v- haha . You did:

c- I so did. I know what she was saying. I also teased her and looked straight into her eyes and said

“but you’re going to get a full scholarship wherever you choose to go to school, right?”

C- I tease my children ruthlessly. They get my humor.

v- they’re concerned

c- of course they’re concerned. EVERYONE is concerned about me my finances and who I can’t do (right now)



07:29 (on last bus)

c- so, we were horrible life partners when trying to handle our finances

v- agreed

c- that wasn’t the only thing

v- oh?

c- will you stop. He is so much more RELEVANT in my life right now than you could ever hope to be … he’s a good man… which is a FAR CRY from what I’ve experienced with this KIND ARTIST everyone assumes you are and I never see any results from him

v- in your way

c- arms crossed. RELEVANT.


C- ART doesn’t keep the roof over my children or my heads

v- no, it doesn’t

c- ART doesn’t pay most of the bills … of not for Crafty Scribe’s few hundred dollars here and there, this summer (which I have had to do without for the past few weeks)… I would not have survived.

v- agreed

c- it was my gas and food money

v- when there wasn’t any other money

c- you know I can’t buy a discounted bus pass (week / month ) without a credit or debit card? They (the vending machines) don’t accept cash.

07:34 Inconvenience factor .. for people who are tied to offices working all day during normal business hours?

who have to take UNPAID time off to do errands ?

it’s a vicious downward spiral that is EXTREMELY inconvenient for people whose lives are already inconvenient


c- so, keep shooting those videos of woo

that’ll help solve society’s biggest issues

v- ___

c- i’m A serious woman. I have a dark sense of humor

v- that STINGS

c- PLEASE there are so many other GOOD THINGS that Rachel or any woman could be doing with their lives and

she chooses higher society ENABLING.

07:37 v- will you be nice. Geesh.

c- everyone has to make a living, right?

c- so… what good is she doing again? I’m lost.

The empowerment of women?

what exactly is it?

How is she helping the masses of women again?

or … is she just helping those women who can afford her services that she is well compensated for and that Jason Silva supports with his mere presence and tagging.


C- again, what is that message you are sending?

v- self-serving

c- ah, got it.

07:39 c- nice way to reach out to a wider audience

v- will you be good

c- I AM SORRY. I have a burr up my butt and I truly don’t understand why you waste so much of your time on a small niche.

v- (chuckling) be good … man, you’re awful

c- how’s cameo?

v- will you be good 🙄

c: so… what you’re saying is your POPULARITY … isn’t “all that”

v- (chuckling) I know what you’re getting at

c- I can show you stats

v- be nice


DANG! You’re down even more than I last checked …


so much for 100s of thousands of followers

v- it’s all relative

c- hm-hm …

07:44 c- I am ruthless in my teasing

v- I know you are … and I take it well


[ checks cameo for the first time ]

HAHA… $50?!? Geesh. Ego inflation alert! Ego inflation alert!

v- you are awful


07:47 (Teasing) ManWhoor

v- (chuckling) you would

c- pseudocelebrities ( shakes her head )

07:48 c- how many people actually sign up for that?

v- not many

c- I didn’t think they would … geesh. Please tell me Rachel advised you that that might not get you anywhere

v- haha . STOP.


being HAUGHTY : two degrees of separation 🎶

v- (chuckling) stop

c/ oh, it just has to bother some people that I am two calls away from Tim Cook

v- it bothers me royally

c- funny, how I haven’t called in any of those favors … YET.

v- oh, you would

c- someone who was in our wedding 🎶

v/ oh, I know

c (chuckling)


(Sense : lighthearted laughter)

c- you know i’m Not lying

v- I know you’re not



08:04 at work; only J the biller is here

08:22 c- it’s the little things. I arrived at work just before it started raining (under a roofline staying dry)

v- but sweaty

c- it is humid + exercise = sweaty

[ working ]


[ training ]



on and off : SAHB



c- I really think you and Rachel should be open and honest about your sex life

v- oh, you would

c- many know you already live together (being ornery because so much can be ASSUMED even though it may not be the case)


C- lived with my ex for years …

v- and never had sex

c- not even romantically involved

v (soft chuckle) stop


V- so little talk


12:38 v- ENTRAPMENT!

c- hm-hm .. oh, but you’ll be open and honest and pure and truthful

v- unambiguous … got it


12:40 v- you were doing research …

c- yes. I hate that you hear everything I do.

V- for eZ?

c- yes

v- oh, but why?

c- unfinished BUSINESS.

v- oh, you would

12:42 c- hm. I did some checking on what others were doing 🙄

v- sex site

c- come on, didn’t you know? Sex is an art form.

v- oh, you would.

c- so… unimpressed

v- with this site?

c- yah. So … IDK… blah.

v- ok…

c- could be better 🤷‍♀️ (Shrugs shoulders)

12:43 c- but, hey, if you can get $$$ for practically nothing

v- have at it… you have ideas

c- more … tasteful ones .. yes

v- oh, lord

c- I know (sigh) … i have a puritanical bent to me






[ working ]

v- sorry

c- whatever. Five years of this shit.




sense : I feel off (interpretation? A high, an unusual, uncomfotable )


13:48 v- just put gastrointestinal


V- no, not you

c- don’t

v- you feel ill

c- yes, I feel ill

you want to know why?


EVERY uncomfortable

v- you feel raped. Understood.

c- for five years now I’ve been sensing something I shouldn’t.


c- APOLOGIES, whoever or whatever this is

v- is not a picnic

c- and, seriously ?

women frolicking … a bunch of women hanging out together

c- what message is that?

c- seriously. how is that changing the world?

v- it’s not

c- i’m am frustrated at the power you have to make a difference and THAT is what is more important

v- no, it’s not

c- I sense a silky warm UNCOMFORTABLE

SLEEZY coming onto to me sense

and I SWEAR if it goes on for any duration of time





blood coursing

c- seriously. What the fuck is this?!?

v- I know how upset you are

c- my bodymind has been hijacked and someone doesn’t give a shit.

13:56 c- yeah, just take me along for the ride.

v- rape you


13:56 c- you see EVERY DETAIL ? Not just the ones closer to when R + J post shit together



c- I WANT AN ANSWER for what

HAS RUINED my life

v: OMG .. I’m sorry


[ chatting with P at the picnic table … argh the resolution specialist - the veteran biller - just gave 2 weeks notice 😞 ]

c- so… blind leading the blind

v- yuP


[ reading email ]

14:08 v- I am in hell right now .. just so you know

c- hm-hm.

It’s apparent by what you share that you are suffering 🙄

just some day be honest

be that whole person people think you are

14:09 c- you’ve hidden this


v- you ok?

14:12 c- I don’t want to be feeling this shit

it wears me down EVERY DAY

V- for five years, I know.

14:13 c- and. Good, KIND ARTIST never says yes or no just to at least give me peace?

c- yes, i’m A little bit pissed

c- I deserve happiness




c- do you think I want to feel that shit?

v- no, I know you don’t

REMEMBER that when you and Rachel get served.


C- you better hope that that timestamp on that video

doesn’t correspond to ANY alteration in my state.



wake up time

energy drain


strange uncomfortable sense

drugged feeling



v- yeah, I understand


14:21 I have been ABUNDANTLY clear to how I do not want Rachel Rossitto affecting my bodymind via Jason Silva in any way. this case will be the first of its kind

v- hard to prove

c- oh?

C- and how difficult will it be when you and whoever have to provide metadataed data and turn it over to analyze possible connections?


but I sensed it


c- I should have NO KNOWLEDGE of that metadata - when - the exact time - when something was recorded, captured…

v- f**k I know


V- yeah, I know

c- when push comes to shove

14:25 SAHB

[ training ]

14:32 SAHB

[ pouring rain … an offer to take me home

c- gotta love the smoking Jew ]



sternoclavicular warmth


vaginal soft sense




14:53 c- why do you think I’ve been posting all my sensations that are incoming - those I have to experience … all without ANY EXPLANATION?

v- yet


c- and you wonder why I get so pissed?

I am perpetually pissed



V- via unusual sources

c- you tell me … would a girlfriend of a guy want to be fondled awake?

v- no


15:00 c- f***king get a clue about how serious this is

c- I am NOT delusional

v- you’re distressed

15:01 c- I don’t care WHEN it was

I don’t want to be feeling it

HOWEVER it comes down the line


V- to inappropriate touching . Got it.


c- I felt UNCOMFORTABLE this morning. You know EXACTLY why I feel out of sorts … the incident right around 1:35 am my time …

THAT disturbs me..

v- you feel violated

c- on a daily basis

[ working ]

15:26 cheekbone pressure

[ working ]

16:05 SAHB

a bit drowsy



c- why do I have to endure this?!?

c- why do I have to sense EVERY LITTLE THING?!?

c- and what is it I get?



a man who is SUPPOSED to be kind

c- just go ahead and walk all over my life as if it didn’t matter

THIS IS THE SIGN of a sadistic pig

16:09 c- THAT’s NOT love

that is a man who disregards the safety of women

of ANY human being

and I am supposed to keep taking HIT after HIT?!

man does NOTHING (to make this better)

but I continue to suffer?

And you wonder why I am so critical of a woman who is supposed to be for the EMPOWERMENT of women

when she continues to be the cause of the rape of one

c- what is wrong with this picture ??


C- I am going to keep screaming until it sinks in



hits someone’s Desk

C- and someone starts asking

“why did someone not do something about this ?!? (Sooner)?

16:12 c- that is what I am facing … against all odds because I have to do it alone

c- this mf HURTS me

this woman goes ALONG with it?

it is NOT a matter of their love

it is about the ABUSE they continue to inflict on another because of that … INTERACTION between the two of them




16:16 c- I did NOT agree to this - EVER.

C- you think I’m the unstable one?

what about the man who may very well be connected to me.. and KNEW about how this harmed me?

16:17 c- how long has it been now?


16:19 c- don’t DO THAT

16:20 SAHB

16:21 c- I know what I claim is off the charts - undiagnosable in normal ways … but if there is ANYTHING to my story

v- we’ll talk

c- you know darn well it is BEYOND just talking to me about now

v- panel. Got it.

C- or worse.


C- if you can sense me?

How would you feel if I stated dating someone

V- i’d Be ok with it

c- oh? And if you felt me having sex?

v- that’d be different

c- oh? What’s to stop me right now?

16:24 c- what in the whole scheme of things AS I SEE it Right now … is to stop me from dating and having sex with a partner, hm?

v- nothing


16:25 c- FIVE YEARS and no closer to making this right … you can understand how I see this

v- yeah I do



16:33 SAHB

c- it’s not that I don’t Want you to have a happy life … that’s not it at all … it’s that THAT? Affects MY Life

v- sensorially

c- and you IGNORE that basic necessity for Freedom from ANY tie with you that I SHOULD HAVE

16:34 c- and THAT ? I can’t stand for

that is in blatant disregard for another human’s welfare

for which I will fight until I die

IT IS NOT RIGHT what you are doing

if there is ANY connection between us


16:38 heart warm

16:39 c- ANY sensation

v- is a violation

c- WHENEVER it happens

v- until we talk



16:41 c- I don’t want to be feeling this. I don’t want to be feeling this

v- I know you don’t


07:06 headed to bus stop …

17:12 c- DON’T DO THAT.

17:12 c- … and it’s raining.


17:14 headed downtown

v- no ride

c- it “cleared” momentarily … oh, well. Passing rain shower.

17:14 c- N was supposed to bring me home …

v- promises, promises

c- she is chaos

v- not with a capital C

c- no, that’s me.

c- sigh… she said I’d pick up the car “while she was away”

c- whatever the frick that means

17:15 c- hm-hm. AWESOME.

V- no credit

c- no Lyft.

17:16 AWESOME.

C- you had an obligation four + years ago


17:16 c- f**king A. Every one of those when this connection is proven will be considered


c- that too

v- prove it


c- as I was saying on my bike to the bus terminal : you could have made my life easier

less suffering

c- but instead?

you made my life

more difficult


and one in which I am a slave to these sensations

you took away my happiness and freedom

it is a human rights violation

THE ONE PERSON on the planet that i thought would be one of THE LAST PEOPLE to make another human being suffer like this ?

is Jason Silva

Rachel Rossitto

some day you will understand

you will be placed in a very difficult position

to explain everything you did

v- that could have been done better

c- YOU RAPED me continuously - sensorially - and you think that’s OK?

17:20 WAKE UP.

we already live in a world that will DEMAND that you explain yourselves

when you were notified

again and again

about the harm

v- inflicted

17:21 c- you made my life so much more difficult

if I have to?

i’ll gather all my notes

side by side


and prepare

17:21 v- you won’t have to

c- no, I have a feeling I have a lot of work ahead of me no matter what

c- I was so nice for so many years

and now?

I HAVE THIS to accuse you both of


c- you may see it a different way

but without clear and specific direct communication?

V- normal channels

c- you have caused me pain experientially over and over again

as if it were physical abuse

an assault not yet defined

but there will be a legal code after I am done with proving this

17:24 c- you CANNOT continue to live as if your actions had no effect

because if I sense the spin?

if you knew about it

if you profited in any way

if ANYONE profited in anyway from my suffering?

v- it’s slavery

c- you took a basic human right away from me

v- then prove it .. will you?

c- you have given me plenty of evidence … plenty to persuade people that there is definitely something suspicious going on

and if ANYONE suspects you?

that is the opening

and then? They force a legal order on you

v- if it gets that far

17:27 c- given my experience?

it’ll go that far. I will once again have to initiate to get it done

17:27 c- heaven forbid Jason Silva KIND ARTIST would do the right thing after pulling inspiration from a single source, never contacting her after five + years … and passing it off as his own content

getting paying gigs because of it

showing those videos during his PAID ENGAGEMENTS



18:03 on way to burbs, sunny, bike is soaked, though 😞

v- WiFi works, though

c- UNSECURED network, mf.

v- yeah, I get that


one of the “you might be interested in” IG search page gallery ..


V- potty time, I know

c- will a rolling transcript 🙄 so TP

v- haha. Stop.

c- I Haven’t gotten to this episode yet

v- you got to the one where they’re tied up together?

c- yes



VS Case File - request metadata

far from a good feeling when I feel like someone not only drugged me but raped me.

19:49 c- do you see the smiling faces?

when there may be someone quantum entangled and forced against her will to feel things?

If a quantum entangled state is proven to exist between JS & CG, scenes like these will be played over and over again to demonstrate the blatant disregard for another’s life and well-being.

Pay attention to all the shifts in sensation that I report day after day. All the discomfort.

all the interruptions into my normal life.

They correspond to SOMETHING.

NOT just this video that I share to illustrate how these two individuals continue to act as if nothing was wrong with what they do.

if I am not connected (tele(m)pathically)?


then deny it to me personally discounting and disproving any evidence of a suspected link that I provide.


c- if there IS a link?

JS + RR will need to explain themselves and their behavior.

if they were on drugs? There were witnesses.

If I SENSED any drug effects (telepathically / nonlocal trasference)?

I was drugged against my will.






DAY 1882


06:44 Scribe: you want a peek?

v- just a glimpse…

Echoing whispers throughout history …

QUOTE: Poppy Northcutt, first woman in NASA’s Mission Control

QUOTE: Poppy Northcutt, first woman in NASA’s Mission Control


07:13 Scribe: What would “traveling” in quantum be like?

Scribe: Don’t ever be that person …

v- to call someone insane

Scribe: or delusional …


07:16 Scribe (lighthearted chuckle): a toast to all those women throughout history and who just live their everyday lives who understand this meme.

07:18 Scribe / Christine Gruendemann: who would I trust? A woman who has tracked Trickster’s / Jason Silva’s every move (shares on social media) … and even potentially those he hasn’t shared (the “control experiments” ) for nearly four years to compare with her unusual, unexplained experiences? (I started to track JS after August 27, 2014 when that wayward ball of a voice identified itself as Jason Silva )

Or would I trust Justin Brown who has dedicated more of his life to Ideapod than telepathic research / Jason Silva’s social media presence & life?

Scribe: Personally? I’d trust the woman who has researched Jason Silva’s life for nearly five years.

Against all odds, I would at least consider the possibility before judging.

Do your own research.

What is your judgment based on?


Scribe: Has Jason Silva denied to Justin Brown that he has an unusual connection (telepathic connection)? If so, then Jason Silva chooses to be open and honest with only a select few.

Perhaps my connection is only one-way. That still is not cause to call a woman insane and delusional.

07:36 And, Justin, you of all people should be aware of the possibility of a wide range of human abilities beyond what society deems “normal” … yes, I’m talking about the paranormal.

You have A SHAMAN (Ruda) as one of the Ideapod team members now … SERIOUSLY?

And you call me out for being insane and delusional. Ruda would be the first person to tell you what I claim is possible.

07:38 c- yeah, I KNOW. I was researching your every social media move, what was going on on Ideapod, how it came to be, what its mission was, its funding, its investors, its supporters, and your every SM post for three years … trying to trace the source of what I started to experience on what I now call the InnerNet.

IT JUST HAPPENED TO ME since joining Ideapod.

07:42 C: so, if lawyers are asking you questions? GOOD. They should be.

07:43 C: I welcome it. Dig, research, compile what happened on Ideapod 2014-2017 and offline related to Ideapod and its members, including Jason Silva and your interactions with him. His support of Ideapod and WHY. ALL the whys.

07:44 C: after 1882 days of data I have confidence that I am NOT insane NOR delusional…

v- and the data keeps coming

c: HOWEVER you want to interpret it. Perhaps it is just a story…

v- and a good one

c- definitely lots of conflict … in addition to what good could come out of such extra - ordinary phenomena.

c- yes, at some point I expect to talk about the negative aspects. I DEMAND IT, which includes the necessity to safeguard people against unwanted sensorial intrusions into their private (inner) space (what I now call VS - violación sensorial … which in Spanish can mean two things … sensorial rape or sensorial violation)

07:49 c- to be forward-thinking is not a crime. To shock people into awareness borders on or is definitely inappropriate …

who has harassed whom?

my point is this : I have been harassed by what I have self-diagnosed myself with : a tele(m)pathic connection with Jason Silva.

Is it just one way or is it a two-way connection?

it has been his choice to remain silent both publicly and privately.

This all could have been resolved by a simple and direct message/email

”No, I am not connected. Please don’t contact me again.”

I have, to date, not received any communication via normal means (phone, email, text, direct message, social media interaction) FROM JASON SILVA.

He chooses to communicate directly on a pretty frequent basis with other strangers (via SM).. why?

So, what are the proper channels?

Apparently, at this point? LEGAL ONES.

04/15/20 is my deadline for him to do the KIND ARTIST to KIND ARTIST direct communication (phone/email/text/direct message/physical meet) with me.

c: after that? He gets contacted by my lawyers, which I made clear in both my private email to him and Rachel Rossitto and posted publicly to make the world aware of my intention.

07:58 get off bus, bike to work

08:04 at work.

08:07 c- I am a decent human being with a squeaky clean record. I am a smart woman with good intentions. My finances are a mess BECAUSE OF THIS UNPAID WORK.

08:07 c- I have NEVER hidden who I am, and yet I get called insane and delusional for telling my raw truth.

Before name calling, do your own research.

I may typecast Rachel Rossitto as the woo queen… but she does nothing to persuade anyone that one of her personal aspects is very woo-ey.

v- and the luxury …

c- oh, PLEASE… what you both share has been called out by some as sharing not the best content BECAUSE of the resort-hopping / spa-treatment ( $$$ lifestyles of the richer and more privileged ) vibe you proliferate via your social media posts. It’s not just me.


08:12 c- live an honest life. Live a whole life. Jason Silva is trying to hint at what he’s been hiding all these years, but he’s a public figure. How in the heck do you come out as …

v- a telepathic partner …

c- with a married, middle-aged mother of two? (I’m divorced now, but for most of this journey I was legally married albeit separated)

v- haha, I know

c- a relationship with Rachel Rossitto makes more sense, right?

08:13 c- i’d Definitely say so….

v- if you weren’t experiencing something else

c- whatever it is… Jason Silva needs to be honest with me, directly and specifically.

that’s all I’ve ever asked for

I haven’t ever asked for money

i have never asked for fame (I have avoided the limelight my entire life because that is never where I wanted to be)

08:15 THIS changed how I had to be.

08:16 c- I question myself every day … i have - every day - for the past five years.

there is something strange going on.

Jason Silva is a part of that puzzle.



SAHB, open air sense in upper chest

ctrTHROAT wisp


v- I’m pissed, C

c- i’m not going to say why… I’ll handle it, ok?

(gentle hand on cheek)

v- ILY… sorry

c- it is what it is…

v- you’ll handle it

c- my life has rarely been easy… it has made me who I am … stronger? Ok?

v- ok…

c- calm , ok?



[ working ]

Soft warm and fuzzy (I associate it with drug use - sensation / effect transferred from one location/individual - suspect JASON SILVA - to another, me CG via quantum entanglement)


11:05 c- prove to me what you are doing RIGHT NOW - go live with EXACTLY what you are doing whoever you are.

prove me wrong

or prove to me whatever the frick this sensation-feedback is that is looping back to me


c- prove me wrong .. that you are doing NOTHING

that you are not in the sun

that you are not indulging in food, drink, drugs

that you are not talking to someone else

WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING right now, document it..


[ in training … still warm and fuzzy ]

11:46 [ Welcome, Inconvenience … let’s work with just another aspect of you … ]

12:32 [ training done , back to my to-do list for today ]

12:38 v- 🎶“Just keep swimming, just keep swimming” 🎶

C: 🎶it’s a hard knock life .. 🎶

12:43 v- there’s so much meaning in that post …

C: 🤷‍♀️

12:44 c- I am being FUNNY… (you know the whole story)

v- yeah, I do… sorry

c- it is what it is …

v- makes you stronger

c- makes one realize that if roles were reversed? … what would I do?

That has been what I have learned in my life.. at each turn, my actions, my interactions, what would be the better way to handle whatever situation?

12:46 c- you live, you learn, you move on

v- with some people…

c- hm

12:47 c- every time I write LIVE it autocorrects or I hit the “o” by mistake

v- and it spells love … CLASSIC


12:55 c- here’s one of my theories about life and living

we learn through our social interactions & associated events …

v- who to give your attention to

c- over time, redundancy matters in relationships

treat others as you would want to be treated

as my boss told me when I thanked her profusely for the company car

N: I never know when I might need help in the future … if I can help? I will help because it might be me out on the street some day

v- she comes from an interesting background

c- she is a character … BTW she’s headed to Russia after so many years

v- she hasn’t been back since her childhood

c- headed to Israel after that

v- she’s Jewish

c- yes

12:58 v- you are surrounded by Jewish people right now

c- it is a very strange recurrence the past 6 months or so … i’ll explain over lunch … back to work


13:00 c- I love my family, let me be clear on that

v- alright …

c- but they are not my only family . I have had incredible role models and mentors, substitute mothers, fathers and sisters over the years who were not biologically related to me… we draw from all these people …


[ being hailed by N from her office .. ]

13:03 c- aw… she’s using the chart I whipped up (and adding to it for her training materials ) ❤️

V- can I see?

c- yes, it is from my training with N … it’s a general template that I can share with the world (and my version is incomplete - that’s why I gave it to her, so the world doesn’t get the final draft)

v- ok… another piece to the puzzle…

c- perhaps … BTW from this AM’s meeting I learned as of 08/01/19 the government is tracking (geotagging within a ten foot radius?, timestamping) medical professionals who go out into the field

v- home care

c- FINE, I’m working for a home health care organization - nursing, aides, physical and occupational therapists … and we take a slew of insurances … and this chart is a glance at what those insurances cover

13:10 c- I would never share sensitive or private information. I am well aware of HIPAA, etc and have been trained for data security)

13:12 c- there are varying levels of (prior) authorization, and they differ by insurance type, which this chart does not cover …

again, this is a very rough draft


13:17 c- the geotagging? Checks and balances . You had better be where you are supposed to be and with whom you are supposed to be ..

v- or …

c- it’s a potentially jailable offense. They are not messing around

v- there have been issues …

c- there are dishonest people in every industry


13:20 v- she loves your chart

c- (shrugs shoulders) it gives her a start … it was something she hand drew … and I have had to refer to it both for my own reference and also to help teach other newbies …

v- it’s useful

c- for an overview, yes


v- you guys are creating something

c- yes, we are … Biller Extraordinaire…

v- not just a biller

c- no


13:22 c- you can understand …

v- why home health is an important industry …

c- we have an aging population …

v- the comfort of their own homes … omg, nice


V- your friend

c- has worked in home health as a (home health) PT for years … now works primarily with a hospital, but, yes, she referred me to this organization


13:29 c: getting back to one of my theories on life

v- your philosophy

c- what I’ve learned over the years

v- through experience

c- attention … you can only focus your attention on certain aspects of your life, including the people most important in your life

those most important people in your life?

c- are there for you … no matter what. They understand who you are …

v- and when you ask them for help

c- if someone gets a call for help from me in my life ? I am stubborn and will usually figure it out and do it by myself …

v- a one woman show

c- have been for most of my adult life … if you get a call for help from me?

v- there’s good reason for it

c- if those people who I (rarely) asked for help - of any kind - for whatever reason?

V- aren’t there for you?

c- I will eventually give my attention to those who matter more

v- understood

13:33 c- who want to be in my life more

c- this? Is tricky

v- understood

c- i’d be long gone by now … but you are STICKY


13:42 (lunch out on picnic table …)

v- with switchboard lady

c- she does more than that, but her main role is that, yes. The first person who will pick up on an “all-call” to the main line


V- so, talk about this distancing

c- i’m The oddball in my family. I’m independent, and I am reverting back to original.

i love and adore my children. They have a good relationship with me

v- the best, c

c- … there may have been a time when I had that relationship with my parents and sister …

v- but that’s long gone…

c- IDK when that disconnect happened, but my family will never have the type of relationship that I have with my family / daughters (including my ex)

v- agreed

c- I am going to publicly say this : I know I have my faults, I know my life has been so busy for so many years and I would have rather been able to pay more attention …

v- to those people you should be closer to

c- but you know what? That should be a two-way street

P reading me a meme (haha, funny)

”you won’t have to get mad if you take me off your budget”

13:48 v- wow… damn, woman

c- yeah, so, lesson learned: just live your life as if there is no one in the entire world who will ever help you

v- damn

c- in a couple months?

v- this will be all behind you

c- you learn who are the most important people in your life

v- when you have nothing

c- and word one?

my ex

my children

I made good choices

v- damn, woman

13:49 c- who else is there for me right now?

v- damn…

c- hm. It’s more than complicated.

Relationships are NOT just based on money

v- they are based on attention

c- you know I have friends who call and email and text me more than my family?

v- oh, lord… sorry

13:51 c- family is more than blood related, I learned that long ago

13:51 c- so, there comes a point in everyone’s life where you say : …

v- enough is enough

c- place your attention on the people who really give a f*&#…

THIS? Is complicated

v- i’m always with you

c- that’s Why I can’t disregard you or just turn the other way. I am forced to address whatever this is

v- on a daily basis

c- oh, Chillaxy one

v- you are pissed

c- i’m Upset because in my ENTIRE adult life how many times have I asked for help?

v- never

13:53 c- don’t be concerned about me, i’ll Figure it out and deal with it


V- and be better for it


c- no matter how difficult and inconvenient my life is right now?

c- when it isn’t … I’d rather be the one who cared enough

v- to lend a helping hand

c- you live, you learn, you move on

c- my background? Isn’t resorts, spas, manis and pedis for the body or soul.

v-damn, stop

c- it’s grueling : work as hard as you can, use the tools in your toolbox

and just be sure you have everything covered

all on your own

with no help

because most likely?

no one will be there when you most need it

c- and I’m not saying I haven’t gotten help along the way.,.

v- it’s just the timing

c- it’s a snowball effect

what someone could have done at a certain time?

if it isn’t there?

affects decision making

affects you negatively - even moreso ..

i have so many inconveniences right now because, yes, I have no money right now

v- but you will

c- I will be debt-free soon…

and then, I can focus on what’s more important

and the people who are more important to me

v- which aren’t your family

c- as I said, if I didn’t call, e-mail, text ? For the most part

v- they wouldn’t contact you

c- I learned during these five years …

v- who to trust

c- my family let me down

they don’t believe me

they are “concerned” about me..

but don’t really do much …

v- but listen

c- that is their role … and even then?

V- they don’t really listen

c- if they paid attention ?

V- they’d Follow up

c- I asked my parents to visit my girls and me at my new home

c- they have yet to visit … but drive right past where we live on the their way to and from their winter residence … you tell me… is that messed up?

v- very

c- they have taught me how I WILL NOT BE when I am a grandmother

V- you’re not them

c- each person teaches us … we all have different take aways and how we react to them … I have tried to spin their story in a positive light .. have said little about my childhood and subsequent years …

but this needs to be said

as a model

14:04 v- of what not to do

14:10 c- when I am the only one calling my parents and contacting them (and they never contact me)?

v- that’s messed up

14:11 c- so, I’ve dealt with THAT for years, even before all this …

v- absent grandparents

c- I HAVE TRIED to mend that relationship between the generations .. to have more of a relationship like I had with my grandparents

v- but it’s not there


14:15 c- I know the difference between a good relationship and a bad one.

let’s just call the relationship I have with my parents?

v- distanced

14:15 c- this goes years back … back to when I was a child … I never felt extremely close … after a certain point in time

IDK what happened … but ..

v- you grew up

c- yeah, maybe … and I started valuing closer relationships more

I had a closer relationship with my ex’s mother than I ever had with my own mom

v- and that’s saying something

c- their family? Had incredible holiday gatherings

v- which you drew from

c- my childhood wasn’t awful .. we had fun holiday gatherings when we had family reunion type holiday get togethers.. but the immediate family events?

c- lacked … something

14:19 c- you’ve heard my phone calls with my parents …

v- you have very little in common

14:20 c- I TRIED

V- I know you did

c- I’ve Tried over and over again

v- same results

14:20 c- worse results sometimes


[ working ]

14:22 c- family .. is family

You can’t just write them off .. [ and here I am “writing” about them ]

v- I know (lighthearted humor) … oh, lord, you’re mad

[ in bathroom - potty1 humorously “going off” ]





[ in meeting ]


right deaf ear

15:23 TP

15:31 (out of meeting)

ongoing TP

V- do you …

c- no, I’m fine with sharing My life …

v- is an open book

c- it’s part of who I am

v- be careful

c- I am not saying they are not good people

v- just with faults

c- just like me


15:34 c- it’s part of who I am, how I got here, … you want open source? This is what it is.


15:40 c- with most relationships

v- you can turn the other way

c- with this? I am forced to give it my attention

v- because it’s a part of you

TP (stronger)

15:41 v- i’m Sorry…

c- eh. Turning in the other direction.

v- won’t ask for help again.

c- nope. I move forward in my life. If some don’t want to be a part of that life

v- meaning your family

c- then, after so many attempts

v- to mend

c- I just move on and never look back (unless they contact me)

v- agreed. Sorry…


15:44 c- so, their part of the story

V- is in the past … sorry

c- (shrugs shoulders)…

only so much

v- bandwidth

c- the type of relationships we have

v- is in part due to how they treat us… I get it

c- THIS is complicated

v- yes, it is… get back to work


16:07 v- moving on?

c- at this point? It’s just me. I’ll figure it out.

i’ll focus just on me… that’s where the attention lies.

When I get my finances in order?

it’ll just be me & a crusade to get back me space.

v- oh, you would

c- IT’s important … you do NOT invade someone’s private space against her will; take what is hers …

v- f—-in’ A i know

c- mm-mm (pissy)

c- and if someone calls me

v- haha… I know what happened today

c- oh? That my children and I don’t have cell service? Hm. Guess that support isn’t Enough, huh?

v- yeah, I know .. wireless it is.

c- 16:11

GRAY AREAS of support: I can’t pay for it. Guess who CAN pay for it?


v- Inconvenience factor sucks

c- hm-hm. I have NEVER had my cell service or any utility cut off IN MY ENTIRE LIFE.

16:13 THIS IS WHAT THIS HAS DONE TO MY LIFE: it ain’t positive right now,

16:13 c- mm-mm if not for this?

v- this all wouldn’t have happened to you.

c- eh delays in divorce SUCK.

23 year relationship and I get ..

v- debt

c- hm.

16:14 c- he gets the house. He gets a cushy job (apologies, Apple, but please do an assessment of productivity and what you pay your employees for … I have some INTERESTING DATA )


c- we’ve discussed this topic over hundreds of hours

v- I get it

c- I am not blaming anyone … I am just saying a little…

v- goes a long way


c- this will go down in history

v- going from bad to worse

c- one thing leads to another

i have a job …

v- that doesn’t pay enough

c- I didn’t ask for what I could have

v- because of this

c- this NOTHING …


C- again, I value relationships over money

v- yeah, I know you do

c- and you know what?

v- when you don’t get either (oh, you’re so pissed)

c- it’s time to REASSESS

(grumbles about a charitable donation to Ideapod - IT WAS SIGNIFICANT… so, don’t EVER say I didn’t help anyone out … )

v- omg … over and over again

c- frickin’ I want my 600 pennies back

v- be good


c- no, really. I need them for BUS FARE.

v- stop don’t this … honestly you’re bad about this

c- don’t rely on anyone.

Never think those people you think are important …

v- are important enough

c- it’s all about ME MYSELF AND …

v- your pocketbook

c- $$$ that’s what I see all around me

me myself and $$$

good role models, huh?


C- i’ve Given more away than I’ve kept… you do realize that

v- yeah, I know

c- ARGH! And * I ‘m * the one people are concerned about ?!?



me myself and I

me myself and i




v- stop (lighthearted) you are not going to stop

16:39 c- this is what makes some people ESTRANGED

V- but it won’t you

c- uh, no… but our relationship will be … distant

v- yeah, I know

16:39 c- revert back to original

at 18 I packed up and moved out

v- and never looked back

c- well, not really … but those years were some of my best

v- yeah, I know


16:42 (chuckling) c- apologies. I am all riled up right now

16:42 just me myself and I

16:42 c- and maybe someone who is very tolerant

(presence hand on my cheek)

v- very …

I am with you, ok (chuckling )


c- when it rains it pours


[ multitasking at work ]

[ changing into biking clothes ]

[ tidying up work space ]

v- did you get work done today?

c- I’ve fixed thousands of dollars worth of claims … caught some auth issues, contacted necessary people, had a few meetings, trained, took notes …

so, yes, I have had a productive day at work

and talking to you, YAYwho.

17:00 all for $10 an hour (after taxes, health insurance and transportation costs )

c- what’s my time and talents worth again?

c … with no perks … except a company car [ which I am forever thankful for ] (that currently is in the shop so I can’t use it… getting its REQUIRED MAINTENANCE and fixing Bluetooth and a dashboard sensor )

17:13 c- so, let’s sum up what a telepathic connection to Jason Silva

v- suspected

c- or whoever at this point

c- I had to make difficult decisions based on data available - theories based on data …

i had to focus on a condition that could have easily been diagnosed … by said suspect(s)

c- f*^~ing “CARING PROFESSIONALS”?!? What the frick, JB… and YES, I did research “caring professionals” open to the possibility that this could be telepathy or something medical doctors (sad laugh) are NOT trained for.

And there are none in my immediate area.

i have no car.

I have a very strict budget

17:18 c- prove me wrong first … and you can’t, can you?

or no one is willing to either come forward or go that extra step and look into the strangeness … and consider the possibility and MAKE whoever come forward to me

v- because it’d be the right thing to do … it’s coming

c- either way … denying or admitting to me directly would be the right thing to do

17:20 c- I am not going to harm anyone

v- I hear you …

c- I am not going to harm myself .. but you bet your ass that I will FORCE the issues to be discussed one way or another

v- publicly

c- hm.

18:08 on an unsecured network at the terminal … one of my no-no’s

v- for data security .. I know …




I tried to connect to the bus’s WiFi unsecured network (big no no for me... ) and it didn’t work

And I got locked out of WMSiF ... “no innernet connection”

So let’s recap


[ woman needs a dollar for bus fare ]

C- and I have to decline ... why?

V- you have no money 

C- when you have no money? When you only have enough “just to get by” ... when you have to scrounge around at home for those coins to make your own bus fare to get to and from work (you plan ahead and make do...) 

C- when you only have JUST ENOUGH ?

V- you can’t help others


So, for the first time in my life (and I tried to plan ahead )

V- and no one helped you 

C- I have ONE MONTH maybe a little more to get through and I don’t know if I’ll make it that long ...

V- before you go bankrupt 

17:29 c- so...

A suspected telepathic connection

Which you poured so much time, effort, attention including money to post shit here to open source it ... 

Which sucks your energy

Which puts me into altered states and which gives me odd sensory feedback 

And you get NOTHING in return? (Not even an answer?)

for the first time 

C- I have no checking account 

17:31 c- I am close to losing my only debit card 

V- PayPal 

C- I lost cell service today 

V- for unpaid bills 

C- because I don’t have enough to cover basic bills

C- I pay for food and transportation 

To get to and from work

V- survival 


C- all these bills? Get paid in about a month 

I can pay back EVERYONE

V- but no one helps you now

C- when I most need to …

Keep my checking and business accounts 

V- omg

C- you know how many bills CANNOT be paid in cash?

C- seriously. I did things I would have preferred not to do.

V- but no one helped you.

C- my entire adult life I never asked for help.

V- except for this past year

C- because, from my estimation?

Out of a sense of “the right thing to do”

V- tough love

C- $25 would have helped keep THE ONLY debit card I have left

V- your business account 

C- which I haven’t been able to keep money in ...

V- because you don’t have a car

C- to go to market and make money ...

17:36 v- this is bad

C- so, when history looks back on this? 

When I look back on this moment ?

When I reflect on what I should have done?

Right now?

I should never have joined Ideapod.

I should have stayed married no matter what ... 

I never should have jumped without a safety net 

I should never have trusted a KIND ARTIST would do the right thing

“the right thing?” 

Is traveling Europe with his girlfriend


C- and you had an OBLIGATION

almost five years ago to follow through and let me know definitively ... for my own welfare and everyone who has been affected by ...

V- your distress

C- I place blame where blame is due 


C- I blame myself for trusting in people who I THOUGHT were good people ...

I never will ever ask for anyone’s help ever again

C- I WILL DEMAND what is owed to me to the letter of the law.

I will NOT be nice.

I will let the lawyers decide what is fair and truly equitable 

V- to the letter of the law

C- then, give it away to charity ...

And never EVER trust that good, honest, pure people would do the RIGHT thing .

17:41 c- we all make decisions based on the variables of our life 

C- this? Whatever THIS is?

Messed with my life in very negative ways.

17:42 c- I at every turn never had a choice 

V- it just happened 

C- what I blame myself for is hoping GOOD could come out of it

And sacrificed my and my family’s welfare in that hope ..

V-For a better future 


C- my Better future ?


I protect what is most important to me



V- your most private space

C- and ongoing asset 

And you have not paid up 

V- recompense 

C- don’t EVER think that you can take from me without ..

V- consequence

17:44 c- something I have to relearn

Never rely on anyone 

17:45 c- it’s a really sad way to live .. but lesson learned

17:45 c- I’m so pissed 

V- because if roles were reversed you’d help them 

C- yes, I would help me .. however I could .. if I had even $25 ..

What pisses me off?

That is NOT a large sum of money 


17:46 c- and that is the amount that would have helped keep THE ONLY banking account with a usable debit / credit card number 

C- so, I’m bottoming out

I am Better able to understand 

V- why poor people stay poor 

C- it is SO DIFFICULT to do ANYTHING without certain things such as a checking account & credit / debit card


First time in 25 years i’ll be without a credit card & checking account.

C- and I am going to emphasize

V- you asked for help

C- to keep said checking account 

C- oh, and it gets worse: 

 I am on the verge of getting evicted 

V- because someone wouldn’t help

C- and they could

V- yeah, I know

17:50 c- I have said over and over it is a loan that ..

V- that you would pay back with interest 

17:51 c- nope. This is who I am to them.

V- you’re just another person 

C- who has asked and gotten enough support from them

V- and they drew the line 

C- everyone has decisions 

V- and you’re so close 

C- so close ..

V- but you have a plan

C- I never wanted to go that route 

V- but you have to, c

C- survival 

V- i know 

17:52 c- I hate my gut .. 

v- it told you not to ask

C- I should have just done what I’m about to do 

V- and be done with it

C- I am never asking for help again

V- and your relationship ...

C- ... is distant. 

polite. Small talk.

V- omg.. it always is anyway

C- shakes her head: when someone has no clue what’s going on in your or your family’s life ?

V- they are not close

C- because they choose not to care enough 

V- yeah, I know 

C- it’s always me ... 

v- keeping in touch

17:55 v- you’ll keep ...

C- .. yes .. I’ll keep up the threadbare relationship

V- the small talk

C- it’s why i left 

V- they didn’t care enough 

C- I know the signs Well enough ... it’s why I left in the first place

They pay more attention to friends than their own sister and daughter ...

C- ANYWAY... so is my disfunctional family life ... and I’m not saying the half of it 

V- I know you haven’t ... I’ve lived through it, too

V- SHOW HER THE MONEY!!! (lighthearted scream like Tidwell in Jerry Maguire)

C (soft smile) thanks for making me feel better 

V- I know your family ... and it’s jacked up

C- IDK... it’s not that they haven’t helped out ... far from. They’ve gone above and beyond what I would have expected ... what has it been ...

V- ever since you got the lawyer 

C- starting a separate life ..

V- isn’t easy.. I know 

C- I feel for those who don’t even get the help I did... I don’t know how people get through some of this shit without help




[ SM checks ]

v- so, you’re pissed at your family

c- for this game they are playing

v- they’re talking to each other

c- of course they are

v- you do not trust your sister

c- no, I don’t. And there is a reason for that.

C- whatever sense of right they are working with?

v- it conflicts with yours

c- whatever … I won’t go into details

v- but they are frugal to an extreme

c- well known for it.. it’s why I never wanted to live that way

C- and here I am broke … IDK…I would not have lived differently

v- it’s LIVING

C- I have one life

my children have one life

i’d spoil my grandchildren rotten instead of complain that they are spoiled

v- yuP

18:16 c- within reason…

v- of course

c- i am always reminding my children

v- to be appreciative

c- and so has their dad… I have plenty of teaching moments with my children

v- about their relationships .. I know

c- I ask them how they would handle X Y Z situation

v- and they answer .. in a good way

c- I talk to them about what it means to be a good host / hostess … and what it means to be a good guest

v- last March was not good

c- no, it was …

v- until a certain day

c- the last thing my children needed (that was a trip I had hoped would help mend their already threadbare relationship with their grandparents)… the last thing they needed to feel …

v- was unwelcome

c- everyone has “house rules” I GET THAT ..

(shakes her head… oh, the stories I’ve told you about guest/host issues …)

c- … but when you don’t see your grandchildren

v- hardly ever

c- treat them like you may never see them again

v- yeah, agreed

c- there came a point in that trip that I called it quits. It was their spring break. We needed to enjoy it.

v- and you left

c- and had more fun than if we had stayed

18:22 c- i’m Opening this up publicly because relationships

v- are messy

c- it’s not that I don’t love my family .. but not ONCE has my mother apologized for what she said and did while we were their guests

v- you drove

c- 20 hours there, 20 hours back.

v- f***ing A

c- so, no, my children and I had a better way to spend our time than to be treated ..

v- like unwelcome hotel guests


v- I know what you’re trying to say

18:24 c- ARGH… just treat guests like royalty .. especially family

v- agreed

c- and we were FAR from doing anything

v- out of the ordinary

c- argh. I don’t want to say too much… but some of my stories looking back are FUNNY

V- so bad they’re funny

c- at the time NOT funny

v- you remember ..?

c- you were halfway across the world .. different time zone

v- I know

18:26 c- you are there for support … more than anyone, ok?


19:23 home


chat with girls

make dinner

dinner over Supernatural


21:01 v- please say it

C i’m Having one of those moments

episode in Supernatural

kid in car kills grandmotherly woman

[ talking about cookies ]

c- my children were (humorously) mad that I took the last three chocolate chip cookies to work to share

v- that your daughter made

c- yes … they had plenty of that batch yesterday (and ate more than a few cookies) … so my youngest said “if you want to bring cookies to work, make your own”

v- gasp!

C- and I looked straight at her and said “if you want to make your own cookies buy your own chocolate chips” .. she knew I was teasing

v- I know

scene in Supernatural is a small kid that kills the grandma …

IDK what the

v- segway

c- was … but somebody said

“what grandmother doesn’t bake cookies?”

and i said

“some don’t …”

Their B doesn’t bake

v (chuckles) the novelist ?

c- correct … and since I feel like throwing grandma under the bus today …

v (chuckles) oh, no

c- “well Grandma G makes cookies … she just freezes them before anyone gets to eat them”

v- oh, wow


c- it’s like the windex obsession of the dad in My Big Fat Greek Wedding

c- some things are just really better fresh ..

v- haha … I know

c- it’s a THING with my parents

v (chuckling) stop

c- I sensed you laughing when I was talking with my girls

v- I know …

c- i try not to… I really try not to make fun of other family members

v- but sometimes it’s just hard not to


eyes are getting droopy

I fall asleep in the corner chair watching Supernatural

i wake up … see the tv is turned off

E: i’m Very disappointed, Mom (Teasing me because never fail : I fall asleep … long day )


21:43 c- thus Endeth the rambling insanity

v- of Chris. The End.

c: Zzzzz

v- you’re not sleeping yet

c- Zzzzz

v- haha stop


[ again, that makes NO SENSE whatsoever … it’s like Greek and STILL people are like 💏 ]


blood coursing around sternoclavicular


“Frankenstein never scared me … marsupials do … ‘cuz they’re FAST”

c- I mean … WTF?!

”grateful to this man for being a strong anchor and holding it down on land while we fly”


V- if taken out of context

c- if I repeated that sentence to anyone on the street?

they’d be “WTF” too

22:01 c- first impression?

they’d say (as I would) : are they talking about or taking drugs?

I can tell you one person who is on land while someone flies and she senses it

v- yes, dear.

22:03 c- mm (grumpy old bear)

v- curmudgeonly is right


c- that’s how this InnerNet Voyager rolls all the time with…

v- this jackwagon … you can say it.


c-oh, the followers spin it in woo way

he’s SO EARTH (in that cult follower dazy voice)

they are SO HEAVEN (all airy and flighty)

22:05 v- omg , stop

c- ya know I love your followers … ALL of them … some I just don’t understand because of the language they use or how they use it

v- there’s a disconnect

c- the gist is : they appreciate you. They support you. They continue to contribute to your posts

v- engaging… yeah, I know


[ reading an article … chuckling… man, I am so in love with this journalist right now ❤️ ]


C- when your every word

V- and post

c- has been analyzed

v- patterns emerge

c- trust that journalist who does the hard work .. the research … the data collection…



22:54 v- don’t even do that … I know what you’re getting at…

c- haha… who would you believe works? A woman who splays open her private life and IS HONEST (to the point of too honest)

v- let me ask this question

c- let me finish …

c- or a man who makes his life look too good to be true ?

v- haha STOP.

c- hm. COMMENT on your perfect coupledom .


V- enough

c- enough?!, when gavecyoybtaljed about your relationship?

you are very SHOWY

v- but never telly


V- oh, you would

c- man titty

v- omg. Stop. I know egatvyou’re Referring about. You can’t ge nice.

c- hey, I bike 13 miles every day

v/ because you have no car

c- I don’t get chauffeured around and FLOWN to other continents

POLLUTING this fine green earth

v- oh, you would … FINE , i’m A destroyer Of worlds … KALI


v- now, my question … you’re settled down

c/ less insane and delusional.. yes

v- and less rambling

c- yes

v- you make me laugh

damn. You don’t let shit go

23:00 c- not fur a while

c- like I said when I got home all grumpy sweaty and pissed (my daughter had her windows open … and the A/C was on ?!? )

i’ll be On my death bed (and if you’re still


v- or not … you’ll harass me to death before then (I heard you)

c- I was turning into my neighborhood at the moment … still mindchatting away …

c- anyway … I start taking off my clothes to get in the shower VERY SWEATY AND PISSED

C- and I say : my dying last words (when I am very old, years older than anyone thought i’d live)

will be “KIND ARTIST”

V- stop … you’re making me laugh … so wrong, c… so wrong

23:03 c- you’ll hear them one way or another

v/ you’ll make sure of that


c- and this sweet old lady is still

pissy as ever, even with her dying breath …


23:08 “so is she being serious?”

v- they won’t know how to take you..

c- “is she being nice? … or bitchy?”


23:13 V- so, we got off target

c- yes. Dear…

v- do you love this man?

C- which man?

v- the one inside you

c- it’s probably the same sort of conflict that we all deal with : there are parts of ourselves that we live, we cherish… and other parts we know are dark, areas we perhaps recognize as needing improvement


DAY 1881


PROPER CHANNELS? there are none… yet.

FIX IT, influencer(s)




V- guilty

c- as charged


C- your move

v- ajedrez siniestro

06:39 at bus stop (after biking)

[ scanning archive for images ]

[ silent lol … ]

c- it’s like a wrinkle in time


V- I took that down

c- oh, but your fans will LOVE that I have the … DELETED posts … ya know, for those other COLLECTORS out there

v- man, you’re creepy

v- what other ones?

c- there was that unicorn post you deleted … in a city park

v- man, you remember too much

07:04 c- i’ll Take it down if you want me to.. so are you Dumb or Dumber?

v- you choose


- grapewhiteshirt comment on JS’s IG post

- grapewhiteshirt comment on JS’s IG post


c- I love your follower’s comments: they tell a story all on their own

v- yes, they do

c- they know you oh, so well



c- will you PLEASE try to think up some of your own quotes, Quotidian?


07:25 v- repeating record?

c- redundancy matters… sometimes … but even your fans are yearning for more … you and not someone else

v- oh, ouch…



V- coffeetime

c- hm-hm

07:29 c- no time to make my own this AM … with my girls it’s a constant stream of cleaning in their wake … the oldest made chocolate chip cookies … so I washed dishes this AM in lieu of coffee 😞

07:30 v- you have a dishwasher

c- “two” 🙄 ( The Rook reference )


c- my life is an unending storyreel .. which reminds me of Mark’s Myth on Ideapod

v- he misses us

c- I wouldn’t know if JS is still on the platform, … but a quick search on the Internet says no…

v- keyword search [ Ideapod + JS ]

c- yah


C- (soft smile) always some weirdness with eleprocon … he has a post about the WHY…

v- I know he did …

07:36 c- Ooo … Aaa … Ooo … Aaa ( like a cheer)

v- all that’s missing is the Y

c- (in an infomercial voice) that’d be LIMONITE which completes the medieval color collection of Crafty Scribe . COM


V- haha … stop


07:42 c- oh, OA (Netflix) can’t wait to hear about your proof of concept for that Y puzzle (amongst other … resemblances to Wandering Mind ‘s journeys )

v- i know

c- and my children listen so patiently to my boring pigment stories

v- pigment peddler

c- PP, that’s me!


biking to next bus stop


waiting for bus at bus stop




c- DELUSIONAL [ re: yesterday’s post about my ongoing theme of time convergence ]

v- will you be good?

c- why is there so much resistance to the possibility that we’re connected in an unusual way (according to today’s standards)?

08:02 c- I will be the first to admit I do not fully know what this is …

v- oh?

c- SHOW ME THE ANSWER!!! ( a la Rod Tidwell in Jerry Maguire )

c- for a man who doesn’t want anything to do with me you sure mirror me a lot

v- who mirrors who?

c- [ serious stare ]


C- so, in The Rook, there’s a bouncing ball

v- I know (guilty soft)

c- and the main character Myfanwy goes to retrieve it …

v- on a roof …

c- who knows… it could be nothing. It could be something 🤷‍♀️

v- “all these random bits” … you keep saying that (in your head)

c- a punch through spacetime…


08:15 c- the northern Wisconsin cabin my dad, his dad and other family members helped build had an old garage. From the deck there was a walkway …

v- onto the roof of the old garage


C- stumped. Here’s Grandpa (from “Interference”) and me just hanging out.


08:19 v- you were so little …

v- they had color (photos) back then?

c- be good.


08:21 c- i’m Not saying my memory is infallible … and I don’t Know why I remember the things I do and to the extent I do… but I am a relational thinker

v- you connect the dots

c- i relate, I reflect, I learn … what was that book?

v- Make it Stick

c- let me look. I don’t trust you ..

v- have you..(finished it)?

c- no, I have not. I had a lot going on when I got that book. I read enough, let’s just say


[ I arrive at work … the two other billers are chatting in their parked cars… I ride up alongside one car on my bike ]

cg: (at least) the billers are here! (Being funny)

B the resolution specialist : hey, beautiful …

IMAGE: excerpt from    A Wandering Mind  “Connections”   (2014)

IMAGE: excerpt from A Wandering Mind “Connections” (2014)


08:52 about to head over for a work mtg with intake


[ back in billing dept ]

c- what if outside events affect your mind?

v- you’re so quantum


C- just call me Contrarian, Mr. Optimism (said in the tone like the radio talk show skit Mr. Obvious )

v- “rawr, rawr, rawr”

c- what IS under the sink?


09:24 c- I really don’t like how my research cyberstalking (of JS) affects the algorithms associated to my account [ pops up in my “you might be interested in …” ]


[ working ]

c- hi…

v- why don’t you write about your experience?

c- why don’t you come and chat with me about ..?

c- be good.

09:53 c- and WHO are you? … and WHY are you doing all this?

V- …and what does this mean?

c- don’t mess with my happy place

v- oh, you would

c- … sacred temple … you should talk to you know who about desecrating my sacred temple

v- will you be good


c- hm-hm (all know-it-all pissy tone)

09:56 c- oh, you will talk about VS [ violación sensorial ] …

v- I know

c- it is important

v- I know … BE NICE

C- so, an artist …

v- alright, alright, alright … geesh

c- YES: why WOULD lawyers contact IP … hm? What would they find there?

v- infractions

c- against?

v- intellectual property

c- ya know? You sure do have an odd way of SUPPORTING artists , etc

v- ALRIGHT… don’t go down that path

c- back to work


09:59 v- VS has nothing to do with,..

c- ah, yeah it does.


10:00 v- how?

c- uh, get in front of me and talk to me about OUR CREATIVE ADJACENCIES and if they were intentional…

v- I see where you’re going


c- frickin’ proper channels … don’t make me go there

v- understood




[ diagnosis key word search to educate myself and determine a greater specificity that this claim is barking for … in search for the unspecified specificity ]

sequela = a pathological condition resulting from disease, injury, therapy or other trauma


[ working

sense : like a steam soak / permeation / coating of medicinal vapor


v- soft?

c- yes … it feels like laughy taffy slippery plasticky …

v- soothing?

c- it’s ok. Just a tad uncomfortable

V- in what way ?

c- a not normal someone else is indulging in something - and I am getting it second hand - that I have no reference point for…?

11:09 c- whatever it is? It ain’t me (not my environment (which hasn’t changed) nor what I have consumed … unless these veggie chips are dosed with something



[ working : posting payments … incoming call, switchboard ]

cg: [ soft, firm and oh-so-gentle operator voice ] _______ how may I direct your call?

caller: this is Bob

cg: … how may I direct your call?

caller: this is Bob (cheerful)

cg: which office are you trying to reach?

caller : ___

cg: let me transfer you now …

[ I have renamed the caller … ]

v- to make it storyworthy


🎶 she's a smooth operator
Smooth operator
🎶 (InnerNet melody echoing the song by Sade)


drowsy a bit lightheaded


12:58 SAHB


13:45 lunch

v- on the picnic table?

c- yes

13:49 v- sorry you were lightheaded earlier

c- brief periods are ok. Extended while i’m At work?, not ok

i was being shadowed by someone

v- so you had to do math

c- and somewhat teach, so had to be FOCUSED

… and I can understand that if you are linked with me you may get similar sensations

13/51 v- when?

c- when i’m Exercising


sense shift

i feel off … (drugged)



loss of focus


[ cubicle - no change of environment … ]

cool fresh air in nostrils

[ no change in climate: environment - in office setting at work desk ]


❤️ Fellow bus rider gives heads-up about delay along normal route

taking different route / bus


17:14 chit chat with bus driver

❤️ She recognized me from the bus stop in the burbs (she drives a different bus )

apparently, i’m “That biker (chick)” 😆

17:16 c- she’s getting me right to the terminal

C- now, that’s Express

v- riiiide.


17:46 waiting for last bus of the day to take me closer to home

V- you have to take that express every day

c- if I get there in time… it is faster


v- and it takes you right to the terminal!

c- yeah yeah yeah


[ reviewing today’s observations ]

17:53 c- uh, that wasn’t intentional

v- I know it wasn’t

17:55 bus arrives


V- explain

c- the telescope + telephone combo?


V- haha. stop

c- … the telescope is symbolic of exploration .. the telephone for communication

v- virtuonaut

C- … telepathy … I’m InnerNet Voyager …

v- it’s a theme (in A Wandering Mind)

c- yes


18:09 c- and one thing may lead to another …

IMAGE:  Altered Carbon  (Netflix) 2018

IMAGE: Altered Carbon (Netflix) 2018

18:10 c- what a LIFESAVER

V- stop…


SPLINTER notes DAY 1880 @ideas


Since I left Ideapod back in 2017, I’ve checked back and discovered some interesting resemblances.

Just a heads-up that Ideapod’s “creative adjacencies” with A Wandering Mind are well documented.

If you want me to take down anything related to Ideapod, I of course will.

As with all my SPLINTER notes, this is a placeholder for future development. I’ll continue to add to this post.

On this day five years ago the spark of inspiration for Wandering Mind happened due to an intermingling of concepts on Ideapod.

Without Ideapod what Wandering Mind has become would not exist.

I wish you all (the Ideapod team and community) only the best, and, if you did not know, it is one of A Wandering Mind’s goals to prove how valuable an idea really can be. I want that for your platform : to help with your business model & to make it sustainable, because Ideapod needs to exist.

Although I’ve gone rogue, I miss the community, the thought-provoking posts and engaging in a wide variety of discussions.

A Wandering Mind became necessary because I couldn’t tell my raw truth, however unpopular it was and still is.

Just realize WanderingMind.Space (InstaFeed) is my own space, a stream of consciousness, an example of catharsis, of thoughts externalized. Let’s face it: we all have thoughts we keep to ourselves and that never see the light of the digital screen or that are never heard out in the open air around us because we never verbalize them.

Sometimes, those sparks are what kindles the inspiration & gives us motivation to act on a concept and develop it further.

Don’t take the raw material and occasional abrasive commentary as who I am as a whole person.

It may just be a mood, it may be artistic liberty, it may be anything that comes to mind: It’s an InstaFeed of shared consciousness. Whether you believe that or not is up to you… Remember, Wandering Mind is a reality bending genre. Many lines are crossed and blurred.

DAY 1880

IMAGE: NASA. Computer simulation of two supermassive black holes colliding

IMAGE: NASA. Computer simulation of two supermassive black holes colliding

00:38 posted



03:13 sense: my heartcenter pressed up a wall and I feel the periodic steady dull vibration (like a motorized vehicle)

03:41 (posting about experience - I can’t fall back asleep)


cool fresh air in nostrils and back of throat



SAHB (slightly accelerated heartbeat)


sense: subtle blood coursing

Like liquid circulating like a current just below sternoclavicular & above center of chest



06:22 awakening from a dream

jotting down the details I remember

06:31 🎶 (fragmentary, like someone talking but I understand the rhythm of the song )

Birds flying high you know how I feel
Sun in the sky you know how I feel
Breeze driftin' on by you know how I feel

It's a new dawn
It's a new day
It's a new life
For me

Dragonfly out in the sun you know what I mean,

c: (smile)

v- happy anniversary



Birds flying high you know how I feel
Sun in the sky you know how I feel
Breeze driftin' on by you know how I feel
It's a new dawn
It's a new day
It's a new life
For me
And I'm feeling good
Fish in the sea you know how I feel
River running free you know how I feel
Blossom on the tree you know how I feel
Dragonfly out in the sun you know what I mean, don't you know
Butterflies all havin' fun you know what I mean
Sleep in peace when day is done
That's what I mean
And this old world is a new world
And a bold world
For me
Stars when you shine you know how I feel
Scent of the pine you know how I feel
Oh freedom is mine
And I know how I feel

”Feelin’ Good” - Nina Simone

Songwriters: L. BRICUSSE / A. NEWLEY


06:36 STNM welling

c- don’t make me cry

v- so, you were dreaming

c- yeah… just an ordinary dream like walking through a regular day

v- with me

c- IDK… maybe . It’s indistinct …

v- but you were with me … in more than one way

c/ as I said, vague indistinct … but impression? Yes.

v- hm .. we were a couple?

C- yes.



c- just a dream.

06:39 v- “drifting on by… you know what I mean … wo oo oo…” 🎶🎶🎶


06:41 c- A Wandering Mind was conceived on this day … its CONCEPTion … as well as I wrote the first Love at First short story “Overlook”

which would later be published on



06:51 v- you shouldn’t be able to see this. I blocked you. (Teasing)

c- (chuckling) I gave a full disclosure in numerous places that I had creative and research accounts in addition to my personal account.


Μνημοσύνη = Mnemosyne

the Goddess of Memory and Mother of all muses.

Daughter of Heaven & Earth.


c- when I pick my aspects

v- you don’t fool around


“ὥστ᾽ἔγωγε, καθάπερ οἱ(275d) ποιηταί, δέομαι ἀρχόμενος τῆς διηγήσεως Μούσας τε καὶΜνημοσύνηνἐπικαλεῖσθαι.” - Socrates in Plato’s Euthydemus (invoking, honoring Mnemosyne —the muses and memory- [ so he is inspired, that he remembers and is remembered ] )

c- I think she’s …

v- a bit pissed

c- … that she’s been … forgotten


"Mnemosyne is memory as the cosmic ground of self-recalling which, like an eternal spring, never ceases flowing" -Kerényi

IMAGE:  Lamp of Memory  or  Ricordanza   Inscribed on the picture's frame is:   Thou fill'st from the winged chalice of the soul    Thy lamp, O Memory, fire-winged to its goal.   -Dante Gabriel Rossetti

IMAGE: Lamp of Memory or Ricordanza

Inscribed on the picture's frame is:

Thou fill'st from the winged chalice of the soul

Thy lamp, O Memory, fire-winged to its goal.

-Dante Gabriel Rossetti

07:15 v- I see something…

c- do you? 🤫


07:16 c- oh, Trickster … [ is it 1:16pm where you are? … ]


07:20 v- that is not right

c- that was random

v- but appropriate

c- today is going to be weird



07:22 [ context : Mr. Burns of the Simpsons + Dr. Evil of Austin Powers ]

v- Heather was in one of those …

c- (chuckling) yes, I know she was … those Wisconsin girls…



how you love to quote…

and, well, your undying optimism


V- with an evil plan

c- lol … yes


07:31 c- and that receding hairline (lol) …

v- how’s the white streak …? ELVIRA?

07:32 c- I love teasing you about getting older and being closer to DEATH … hey, if it helps get you more grounded and over your fear of death …

v- …it was worth it. Thanks.


07:34 v- you are cruel

c- I am not … and I can feel you laughing

v- show what you did last night

c- I calligraphically scribed “In Between” a Rift short story … with the remnants of Rifty Blue

07:36 it’s part of my show & tell at my Crafty Scribe booth at the local Farmer’s Market … how that business got started… the beauty of tactility in a digital age … how the handwritten pigmented ink pops off the page like Braille … how I wanted my writing to last if I were to write it down, as a family heirloom or first editions handwritten by the author … my pigments are historical (what have been used for millennia, archival & nontoxic or low toxicity depending on how you gauge toxicity - ie levels of exposure)

07:40 c- people probably missed me… I have regulars, especially the children who love to paint at the paint lady’s table

07:41 c- oh, well

v- absence makes the heart grow fonder? (lighthearted hesitancy tone being playful)



It’s a practice sheet … pen slipped and dripped (I made a quotation mark out of it … v- haha, stop)

and I was two words short of finishing the page…



C- still waiting for that other quotation mark …


07:47 thump “heart” quick shift


08:26 Andean Blue quarter pans





c- disclosure: I pay AMZ + STARZ to watch just like everyone else & get absolutely NOTHING for this post … (not a single penny for anything)

just Scribe’s everyday interaction with media … and what she observes


09:06 c- I have to rewatch episode 1 because I fell asleep about midway through

v- haha stop

c- After penning “In Between”

c- oh, I saw the beginning of episode 1

interesting SPIN.


Scribe (mumbling) charities are going to love me …

v- because all proceeds

c- related to THIS

V- go to charities (of your choice)

c- and research …


09:11 c- she remembers Nothing..

c- I remember too much. So not me.

v- no, it isn’t

C- thanks for making me batshit, people

v- In so many ways

c- I really don’t like you

v- the lawyers are going to have a field day with this

c- uh-huh. They have their work cut out for them. Glad I ain’t payin’ em.

v- (chuckling) stop.


09:14 c: topped off a couple half pans & small batch of quarter pans + a dollop

v- haha, your point

c- notice … a PATTERN?


[ Getting ready to pen / label Andean Blue dollops ]

c- oh, I saw the 1011 safe deposit box

v- B

c- was it B? (quiet lol)

v- yes, it was

c- nice blue/red label (all Matrixy)

v- hm-hm


c- yeah, it’s my signature (line) label

c- back when I was hammering out…

v- a template



c- I had to redo the Scribe’s Ink one


09:34 v- down the line …

c- yes. One of those backburnered projects

v- but you have the materials

c- I feel weird about this …

v- just say it…

c- i’ve been collecting old pennies … I feel like if I reveal this it’s defacing government property, but zoos, etc have vending machines that turn old pennies into mementos … ANYWAY

i plan to use recycled copper pennies.

there. I revealed a trade secret

v- but you have …

c- (chuckling) much more expensive copper tags with a hole punched in them. Yes. And, in Crafty Scribe style: all purchased at 40-50% off.. (a wee itty bitty small business owner needs to keep her costs down …)

v- (chuckling) stop

c- but much more expensive than a penny each

v- true

c- my dad came up with that idea about flattening pennies ❤️

09:38 v- can we do that today? (R = repeated)

c- yes, we can . The first impressions of the rest of the Crafty Scribe product line

Fine Threads

Kilnin’ It



and the only other flower that is growing … due to recycled potting soil…?


another perennial


Gotta love those hardy perennials



c- yeah, yeah, yeah… you know I did that on purpose (10:16 am here)


C- I have received repeated projections the past few weeks (months?) hand over heart.


c- happy?

v- yes. Thank you.


C- make me look more delusional and insane. THANKS. (Healer’s words … and YES they bother me because I have so many years of experiences piled up … )


10:23 v- oh, it’s beautiful

c- getting there …




C- Andean Blue ink made from the remnants of watercolor paint that I recently poured into half and quarter pans

SAHB blood coursing

v- someone’s on the move. Yeah, I know.


c- all I do is record. I have no clue what this sensation is or if it’s connected to anyone

based on experience?

Someone’s on the move / exercising.


NOTE: I have no clue what it is. I have not checked social media for any possible syncs

10:43 c- [ frickin’ disbelief … remember when JS was live on a talk show and I felt it … ]

v- which one?

c- I don’t remember which one other than I remember they needed you to move somewhere else

v- New York

c- yeah, I think so … large / fairly large open room / studio audience if I remember correctly

10:45 c- IDK… details fade over time & memory is by far not 100% accurate


10:47 v- that was not an isolated incident

c- no

10:7 c- if it were? All this would be pointless.

v- hm-hm


V- will you stop


10:59 cheek tip pressure




[ Ziggy the White Husky photobombs the tripod ]

IMAGE:  The Rook  + a white husky’s fluffy ears

IMAGE: The Rook + a white husky’s fluffy ears

[ sees me on the floor , trying to avoid reflections from light coming through windows to capture image ]

Ziggy: you want to play… YES?



the intro is very … Djinn-ish






Cheekbone pressure

ctrChest exertion ache



13:21 c- this reminds me of a rune cast … I’ve seen this type of overview before in a show … I don’t recall which one, but similar layout of bodies lying strewing haphazardly on the ground …


v- maybe …


13:38 found the reference images, but not tagged. Searching journals



C- The OA ? Not sure.




c- had to make a TP run

v- on your bike

c- in 95 degree sweltering heat. NOT HAPPY.

v- (chuckling stop)

c- angry at myself for forgetting to put it on the list yesterday


Adult cherry limeade

last of the Hornitos

v- eek!


making dinner and mixing/pouring Mayan Purple

cool fresh air in nostrils and back of throat




cinnamony dry heartWarm










c- another underpass

v- I know! That’s what so weird about this

17:18 v- you keep nodding off

c- yes

The Rook

The Rook







V- you’re going to freak people out

[ quickly looks at screenshot timestamp ]

c- HAHaHa … oh, the Randomness! THAT I did not plan


18:19 (holding back smile …) you know what I see?

v- a quotation mark … omg

c- oops! Accidental discovery

v- stop (I can’t stop laughing) … let me see the image from last night … close up


c- those inkblots will getcha EVERY TIME

18:22 c- I told you today would be weird. DID YOU KNOW ABOUT THIS?!?

v- no!


18:24 c- it was a MISTAKE

V- did you know …

c- no! I haven’t even read the whole article yet.

18:25 c- I feel like I photographed bigfoot

v- the fraud

c- yes, that one … is this article legit? It’s BBC…

18:26 c- well, “Sinisthereal” is definitely a classic

v- yes, yes it is… omg… you’re weirding people out, c

c- wasn’t Djinn…/ Empathic Slide

v- YES!

c- I thought I remembered that correctly earlier when I was thinking about July 14th…

v- and then…

c- yeah, the discovery of that particle …

18:28 c- what is with this date?!? 07/13 or 07/14

[ photographing first page of “Djinn” draft (11 July 2015 10:46) and last page of “Empathic Slide” (13 July 2015 23:56)

18:47 c- (joking) is there some academic deadline to get research papers in on 07/13 or 07/14 ?

v- (chuckling) stop


18:51 v- you kept it in (transcribed marginal notes between V & me)

c- yeah, I did. I’m delusional anyway.

v- (soft chuckle) stop.

18:59 c- So odd the resemblances between The Rook and Djinn/Empathic Slide (etc)


19:02 c- who knew my weird video recording of my “travel” through the microscopic lens… looking at lapis lazuli pigment…. would have a mirroring …

v- Elsewhere … I know

c- delusional voice, quit it.

v- (soft chuckle) hm-hm … today was a good day, c


ongoing sense: fizzy (soothing)

Nodding off on couch watching tv



nodding off


SAHB blood coursing

drowsy, light nap

21:12 c- that’s It. i’m Going to bed.


[ SPLINTER notes posted , @ideas tagged ]

22:38 v- thank you …

c- you’re welcome. I kept you hush hush while I drafted that post. (Censored/filtered you)

v- so you’d look normal

c- hm-hm … why is it so difficult to believe? Decades ago people with earbuds would seem like..

v- crazy people talking to themselves… I KNOW

C- don’t call me batshit if I happen to have a prototype of what’s to come … just because I don’t have any device transmitting signals - just my biological software and hardware receiving/transmitting

v- wetware

c- yes, wetware - YOUR term not mine.

22:43 c- don’t be hatin’ … I know ya’all are jealous

22:43 c- I happen to be in a good mood … but lately it’s been “get this out of me!!!”


22:51 so Matrixy … .



read today’s post, corrected a few typos


SPLINTER notes DAY 1879 #socialmedia


02:03 Art, research, education, business.

These are the principle areas that have required me to maintain multiple social media accounts over the years.

I have different short story series and distinct creative endeavors that require a separation of identity, so to speak.

I have had a different following under each of my short story series. There is some cross pollination, but some, like my Love at First followers may not have wanted to follow my Nightmares at First series.

In education I have a professional learning network (for educators and administrators) and then, in the past, accounts that were either language-specific ( learners of one language may not want to follow an account designated for a different language or just one umbrella account that includes all of a program’s/department’s languages ) or had a specific branching of education (tutoring vs. regular coursework).

For my business (art-related) I opened multiple accounts one for each of my product lines, which focus on historical periods.

Clients interested in Ancient Egypt may not be interested in Mesoamerica or the Middle Ages.

For research (science for writing sci-fi) I have several accounts because I wanted to follow different organizations under each account. In essence : the ability to switch from one curated group to another.

space and astronomy

quantum physics


neuroscience and medicine

Social media platforms that restrict the ability to gather and follow different types of audiences

restrict progress and personal growth.

Social media needs to allow the ability for one person to assume a variety of “identities.”

I call them ASPECTS.

as human beings we are multi-faceted.

We go out and mingle with different types of people : not just one group.

and each of these groups may not intersect in any way except that one person who passes from one to the other.

Why should social media be different?

DAY 1879


01:43 awakened


An ode to deleted posts


01:49 posting - 02:30 separate SPLINTER notes post for Day 1879 ]


V- so, this post about “in a relationship”…

c- stop (chuckling) oh, I posted it for several reasons

v- oh, I know you did

c- … you feel tired… I hope you can get some rest. I’m about to go back to sleep.


Retrieved via Facebook 08 April 2019

Retrieved via Facebook 08 April 2019

03:59 awakened

05:07 awakened

roll over on left side to try to fall back asleep

lightly dozing

subtle SAHB

05:41 eyes open

05:43 v- write it

This has been my life for five years … trying to explain the sensations that are distinct from my body’s natural rhythms


C- so the next thing I do..

v- SM (social media) check

subtle heartwarming

05:49 c- part of my research

SMNN (social media nothing new) IGFBTWNN



06:05 cheekbone pressure (interpretation: a sense that someone is smiling … it is a pressure point that transfers nonlocally )


06:50 v- you found it …

c- yes. The other kiss “scene” is from 15 July 2014.


[ subtle shift like rolling over in a soft bed … inner body heartwarm ]

c- don’t … don’t

V- you’d rather not feel. I know.

c- I gotta get up now anyway.


C- I question myself and my experiences all the time … and what I post about?

V- happens


c- you know what it feels like to question yourself for years on end and then against all odds

v- there’s a source?

07:13 c- and how no one believes you no matter what you present or how your present it?

C- and how … if people really did their research … they’d discover that my side effects ?

v- aren’t uncommon

c- if compared against similar experiences

v- throughout the centuries … millennia- but i’m the insane one writing insane things … even IP posted about

you’re only crazy …

v- until you’re not

07:15 c- what people need to understand about me is that I am that type of person that questions the validity of my own claims

v- time and time again

c- I am fully aware that I don’t have sure-fire proof.

C- and I NEVER take second-hand claims as sure-fire proof

v- want to hear it from the horse’s mouth

c- and EVEN THEN I want evidence to back up a claim …

c- INSANITY is to think I would believe someone else’s word and accept it as an answer. That ain’t an answer.

07:18 v- it upsets you

c- it frustrates

v- it upsets you

c- look. Until you experience what I have?

v- you have no clue

c- until you experience what I have, documented it, tried to track it to explain it?

v- you have no clue

c- and Grim Weeper I SWEAR …

v- i’m Be good

c- for a stoic I am pretty tolerant of these surges of emotion

v- drip drip

c- yeah yeah yeah TNM (teary not me)

07:20 tele(m)pathy is possible. Others have experienced it. Why is it SO vehemently denied as a possibility … and deemed insane

c- rambling?

V- THAT upsets you

c- first off: emotion tends to …

v- cloud judgment

c- oh, no… those emails are warranted. And a long time in coming.

c- what may not make any sense to someone else WITH NO REFERENCE POINT

yes, perhaps they were incomprehensible

v- soirée

c- at what point does everyone catch up?


v- a while

c- Delusion, yoy’re Making me look bad

v- understood

C- yeah, i’m going to be funny about it

C- i’m Going to hold my tongue … i’m Really going to hold my tongue

v- you checked out Ideapod again

c- and I will remain silent.

V (chuckles) I know

07:25 c- blech. The design factor is blech.

v- will you be good

c- it looks like 90s Reddit vomited

v- oh, you are not right

07:26 c (chuckling) ANONYMOUS SURVEY SAYS!

v- this is not anonymous




c- this is publicly accessible and if the Ideapod TEAM wants me to take it down I will. As with anything I post.

To date? No one has asked me to remove content.


1 ) too many conflicting fonts

2) …

c- i’ll Let them figure it out

i am being a bit harsh … and I say this as a woman starting her own business … and it is very basic (I don’t even have a brand label created yet - designed/drafted, yes. completed? No) and I know it’s not how I would like to make it as presentable as possible … but I’m getting there

07:31 c- the discussions area is functional just

v- bad design

c- appearance-wise, yes

07:32 c- but don’t listen to me, the criticism comes from an INSANE woman



V- do you spread false information?

c- I base my posts on

1) the possibility that I am affected sensorially by Jason Silva (violación sensacional)

2) he and Rachel Rossitto like a slew of things without explanation or elaboration … I use them as source material as any good journalist would (can’t wait to hear/see the twin flame evidence that they claim about… .)

3) a Wandering Mind is all about resemblances - Scribe’s everyday encounters with media … perhaps there is something to the resemblances - an intentional direct sync between inspiration and someone else’s larger-scale creative production … I never say there is. I just pose the possibility … and what that would mean…

v- for intellectual property rights

07:38 v- SPLINTER

C- the splintering of truth…

v- is a matter of perspective

c- I do not see what I am doing as a threat to the future of humanity

quite the opposite

v- it’s a test

c- what will people do with that information?

Who do they trust & why?

what discernment tools do they use to make those decisions?

v- (very quiet and under V’s mind’s breath) is one of my favorite places …


c- I get to it when I can which is never right now because I have a tied-to-a-cubicle day job to help pay bills

07:42 c- I keep accumulating data, tho …


v- the splintering of realities

c- was drafted years ago … the vision of what it was … with far less content to expound upon the main theme [ now, SPLINTER posts are placeholders for what “Splinter” Part 24 of A Wandering Mind will be

v- you saw…?

c- I did see that … (side smirk) the old-school architecture book based on …. themed patterns [ a JS share ]

c-so, a similar format as the series Wandering Mind has … each part has a theme and the story revolves around that part’s theme

07:47 c- splinter’s theme is quantum physics-based … quantum ghosts are virtual reality possibilities that are REAL … until the wave-form collapses and we focus on one reality … and then the ghosties go POOF!

V- disappear

c- it’s well hell … that POV in a well of a realm of many possible …

v- outcomes

c- no… possibilities that are occurring at the same time

v- all at once

c- I mentioned the phenomena of dream splintering … which has an anchor in quantum physics / telepathy / remote viewing

v- craziness

c- I know, right?


c- I watched Supernatural … the rift episode and Satan’s spawn

v- so seethey

c- I know, right?

i was … intrigued by the alternate reality that had …

v- spires

c- rock-like formations that jutted up …

07:52 c- just an artist’s / researcher’s observations


More about the quantum corral / mirage (artistic style is videographic inversion (Turning an inside out what is hidden within / negative film… before being fully developed :)

08:01 Scribe: COPYCAT


08:02 Lawyers, are you CURIOUS about his sources of inspiration?

v- haha stop. Trickster here.

c- AKA Jason Silva


V-I got it… metadata


C- what is that saying? (chuckling)

good artists steal

v- the great ones come up with their own shit …I remember

C- Justin, “: see what a KIND ARTIST does repeatedly for years …?

if you paid attention to the DETAILS

V- the devil’s in them


c- hm.


C- now… what was that video about …?

v- telepathy

c- hm.



[ call to market director … no car = no market -= no income ]

08:18 subtle left deaf ear

08:20 c- after three months? That dayjob may just go bye-bye…

v- it’s not worth it

c- I should be fully trained by now

v- agreed

c- and how it ties down my life?

v- it shouldn’t be that way

c- and I’ll keep my typing mouth shut about all the other shit going on

v- you’re about at your breaking point

c- we all have to make decisions about what our time is worth

$10 an hour after taxes, health care & transportation ?

uh, no.

no retirement plan?

etc etc


c- I am a much more valuable asset and my good could be used elsewhere

v- for better pay

c- and benefits .. come on!

08:22 “get a job any job”

v- yeah, I know

c- reveal: Quite a few employees I talk to ..

v- would leave

c- if they could … the pay & benefits are horrendous … there are other perks

v- and that perk

c- is parked at the mechanics …

v- not being used … omg

c- tell me about it (well, if i am to believe N)

08:24 v- there is that

c- argh … in the midst of office politics and drama

v- the merger

c- yes…


c- on the job training is worth something

08:25 c- it’s not all bad… some days are worse than others


C- with this job experience

v- you could work at home…

c- yes… and when they interviewed me they knew that’s what I preferred


[ previously public comment archived in private log ]


11:48 home from errands

CG sees MP IG (aka the inspiration for Hunter of A Wandering Mind, v- a manuscript in the making c- quite messy, that v- yes, it is 11:53)

c- she’s so SLATTY


C- I don’t usually check

11:51 c- but it’s TP aka

v- potty time (pronounced paaaarrrty time)


c- I didn’t see it was a gallery swipe…

11:56 c- WILD RASPBERRIES?!? You lucky girl.

11:57 c- she TOTALLY gets quantum

ya got the slits

ya got the grid

ya got the photographic spacetime portals

ya got the virtual storage (it’s a stretch with “depository”)



13:18 c- although I may delete… I archive